Showing posts with label Luke Bryan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Luke Bryan. Show all posts
Mar 26, 2023
Mar 24, 2023
No One on Facebook Ever Heard of Luke Bryan
“Who?” asked Jerry Dickens of Shreveport, in response to a story about Luke’s favorite fishing lure on Whiskey Riff, and the sentiment seemed to be prevalent across the Facebook landscape. Up to 77% of readers of the country music humor page Farce the Music reported being unfamiliar with the Georgia singer. Dickens assured us that his comment was not to add to his “real country” cred, or to look cool to other pop-country haters.
Bryan, who debuted on the country charts 17 years ago and has been a prevalent force in the industry ever since, also has his own festival, his own restaurant, and his own brand of beer. Be that as it may, he has somehow escaped the attention of a majority of Facebook users.
“Luke Bryan, who’s she?” commented Dick Berry of West Memphis, AR, below a We Hate Pop Country meme this past Tuesday. This highlights another mystery of the perception of Bryan - that he is a female. How one could come to the conclusion that Luke is a woman’s name is certainly odd, and we’re fairly certain no one on Facebook would ever stoop so low as to misgender someone as an insult.
At press time, Larry Richards of Raleigh, NC was preparing an incomprehensible FB comment about Bryan being a homosexual (but certainly not in a negative light) despite being oblivious to Bryan’s very presence in this corporeal plane.
Mar 21, 2023
Mar 19, 2023
Mar 17, 2023
Mar 16, 2023
The Last of Us Country Reaction Gifs
Why I don't really wanna listen to country music from anyone under 25 years old
Waking up from a bad dream that the only 'country' shows coming to my town this year are Luke Bryan and Sam Hunt... only to find out it's true
Them: Have you been listening to Arlo McKinley again?
Me: No, why?
When I hear .2 seconds of a Kane Brown song
Why are you still listening to old ass country music in 2023?
When somebody brings up that rappers say the n-word, when discussing Morgan Wallen
Society if Turnpike Troubadours never got back together
Dude, check out this new Kidd G song!
Why is Morgan Wallen so popular? He's no better than a drunk dude at karaoke covering bro-country songs
Mar 12, 2023
Mar 10, 2023
Mar 8, 2023
Bubba Shot the TouchTunes
Bubba Shot the TouchTunes
©2023 Farce the Music Parody
We were all down at O’Brady’s bar
Tellin' stories if we had one
Someone fired the new TouchTunes up
The song it sure was a bad one
A sweat drop rolled down Bubba's nose
From the cringe the song was inflictin'
And all at once he jumped to his feet
Yelled “You’ve got to be shittin’!”
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Said it played a bad song that got him riled
Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Bubba ain't never been a fan
Of pop songs with twangy singin’
And he did not care for Thomas Rhett
So he let the bullets go slinging
He bought a round 'til the cops showed up
Was the toast of Beef O’Brady’s
We told him, “You know that was pretty dumb”
But our ears did appreciate it
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Said it played a bad song that got him riled
Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
When the sheriff arrived with his swat team crew
Lookin’ for our troublemaker
He shook his head and said
"Bubba boy, you was always a hater”
A reckless discharge of a gun
And putting the public in danger
Bubba hollered out danger hell
Been worse if Luke Bryan was playin’
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Said it played a bad song that got him riled
Went to his truck and grabbed his Armalite
Well, he shot the TouchTunes
Stopped it with ten shots
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Well, he gave not a single shit
As that song machine died
Wasn’t no Waylon on that list
So it’s premeditated homicide
Bubba shot the TouchTunes
Stopped it with ten shots
Bubba shot the TouchTunes last night
Mar 7, 2023
Mar 5, 2023
Mar 2, 2023
Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #68
Me looking over the Billboard country chart
Wanna go see Pony Bradshaw?
When your friend passed out 3/4 into a Lucero concert but he's ready to restart the party
When you find out your cousin is really
into Upchurch and Katie Noel
Trying to read the badly spelled, grammatically incorrect Facebook replies every time I post something about Morgan Wallen
Pop country singer trying to go outlaw
When the band comes out for an encore even though you knew they were going to
When you take over the party's DJing halfway through a Luke Bryan song
Me when normally reserved country artists talk shit about other artists online
Feb 26, 2023
Feb 24, 2023
Luke Bryan Worried He’s Repeating Cringe Dance Moves
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| Bryan performs the "full hunch" |
Though every song has gone off generally without a hitch, and the crowd of young moms, sassy grandmas, and frat bros seems to be having a great time, there’s still something eating at him. He’s a pro and he’s here to give these fans a night of repetitive twangy pop-rock songs about beer and trucks and girls, but there’s one thing he can’t repeat if he hopes to keep them entertained. The cringe dance moves.
He replays the last 30 minutes in his head. He’s done the “goofy white boy above the waist dance” during “Rain is a Good Thing.” “Kick the Dust Up” got kinda silly with that new “gospel sway complete with handclaps.” The next song is a blur because that’s when a pair of panties from an um, ‘ample’ fan landed on the neck of his prop guitar. He thinks he did the ‘throw your hands in the air’ bit already, but he’s just not sure.
A cold sweat breaks out down his back. Luke has only pulled out one of the “big guns” thus far, but he doesn’t remember which one. The aforementioned “big guns” are variations of the pelvic thrust, which he calls ‘hunchin’.’
Hunch 1 is called the “dry hump.” It’s more of an up and down motion of the hip area and gets the lady-folk going right quick. Hunch 2 is the Elvis, which is self-explanatory. Hunch 3 is the “pound town,” which is a more forceful version of the Elvis. Hunch 4 is the “full hunch,” which he only breaks out during the encore, so he knows he hasn’t done that one.
Uh oh, the next song is “M-o-v-e” which expressly requires a full 30 seconds of hunchin’. He says a little prayer in his head and goes into the windup. He’s settled on Hunch 2, and as the cheers reach fever pitch, he knows he picked correctly. Luke feels pride in the fact that he’s the standard bearer of modern country music, and that he can provide each and every fan in attendance with just enough shallow music and booty grinds to get them through their week.
At press time, Luke was preparing to unleash the full hunch, as custodians waited in the wings with their mops.
Feb 22, 2023
Feb 19, 2023
Feb 15, 2023
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