"Yeah I Love Outlaw Country"

Warren Zeiders Fan Starter Pack

The Crud Report: April '24

Know Your Plants

That's Not Smooth

Wildlife

TikTok Country Artist Feels Possibility of Unearned Overnight Success Slipping Away

Rising TikTok personality and country singer Dillon Dylan feels his dreams slipping away. The Mobile, AL college sophomore with 2.1 million followers and growing buzz thinks all his hard work could be for naught. 

“I’ve written 4 and a half songs and covered dozens of others on camera in back of the abandoned Shell station down from my house, built up an audience, received lots of heart emoji reactions, and for this??” regretted Dylan. 

This week, the US House Of Representatives passed a bill that could lead to a ban of the popular and addictive app. In recent years, many wet behind the ears singers whose mom told them they were better than what’s on the radio have found overnight acclaim singing over-wrought teen poetry over an acoustic guitar in a cotton field somewhere. Many feel that time may be almost over. 

Dylan’s song “19 and Middle Aged” has garnered over 20 million impressions or whatever metric they use, pulling in a following more impressive than some established country radio stars. While there are many such artists showing true talent and dedication, a big chunk of them also luck into popularity due to timing or contacts or personal appearance. Dylan is the latter.

“I mean, I spend my days honing my craft of social media engagement and this is how America repays us,” raged Dylan. “This might be my villain origin story.” Dylan spoke little of “honing his craft” of songwriting and music, or trying his hand at playing an open mic, or joining a buddy’s band to get some experience under his belt. 

“F**kin’ Zeiders jumped the line, why can’t I?” continued the raging Dillon. “I’ve done everything my sponsor, uh I mean mentor, has said I should do and it might just never happen for me now. I’m gonna have to be a damned graphic designer like my dad.” 

At press time, the words “We have to hire a talent scout? What’s that?” were being shouted across record label board rooms across Nashville. 

Who's Opening for Whom?

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: March '24

A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song where the good attributes and the bad are dead even. 

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (+3) overall which is an 8 point improvement from December. The best song is Cody Johnson's "The Painter." The worst is Hardy's "Truck Bed," with stiff competition from Kane Brown's "I Can Feel It." Overall, a decent set of songs but nothing to write home about. 

*Note: a few scores changed a bit since Dec. due to songs growing on me or the opposite

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Pain Either Way

8 New Parody Album Covers ft. Kacey Musgraves, Tim McGraw, etc.

 

South Park Country Reaction Gifs 3

*language warning, obviously*

That Nashville cop flexing on Chris Young

When they call you a nut for NOT believing a conspiracy theory involving Taylor Swift, Satan, and Travis Kelce

Why isn't your side into Morgan Wallen? At least he sings about country stuff and has a real drummer.

Hey Zeiders!

When mainstream country execs see Luke Bryan's falling numbers

Music reviewers and bloggers, after supper

Name a Ruston Kelly song

When you see Kidd G on your son's Spotify

Tell me one positive thing about Jason Aldean

The week after The Lumineers play in your town

Maren Morris adding some decor to her home

The Farce the Music Facebook comments section when a meme is ever so slightly political

More Monday Memes: George Strait, Hick-Hop, Warren Zeiders

 

Hell's Jukebox Got an Update

 

More Monday Memes: Warren Zeiders, Charlie Rich, Jason Aldean

The Crud Report: August '23, Volume II

The Crud Report: August '23

Laying Down the Law

 Based on this (which isn't funny but everything gets made into a meme so).

Walton Goggins Country Reaction Gifs

When somebody says Jason Aldean is their favorite country singer with a straight face

Still better than listening to Kane Brown:

When Warren Zeiders rips the tag off a mattress

When somebody says Sam Hunt is country

When somebody drops Morgan Wallen lyrics in a conversation

When I'm ranting about pop-country at the cookout and my wife tells me to tone it down

When they're arguing on Twitter about problematic country lyrics from 1974

When you walk into the party and they're playing country with snap beats

When my boss walks in while I'm making a mean Luke Bryan meme

Listens to Garth Brooks once