Jan 26, 2023
Jan 23, 2023
Jan 19, 2023
Jan 5, 2023
Jan 3, 2023
Dec 23, 2022
Superstar pop-country singer ____ recently shared some lovingly curated pre-Christmas hijinks with his household. It was highly family-friendly and positive to preclude any naysayers of said artist from finding anything worthy of “hating” on.
Only a Grinch, Scrooge, Satan, or “that ain’t real country” blogger could find any sort of fault in these primped, staged, and PR committee approved scenes of Yuletide glee.
The cynicism-proof videos also featured cutely choreographed dance numbers featuring ____ himself wearing an elf costume and doing whatever TikTok dance is currently in fashion. Once upon a time, the singer was a bit rougher around the edges and said things that rubbed people the wrong way from time to time, but these days he is a straight up f**king Hallmark movie.
To prove they aren’t entirely straight-laced, ____ and his beautiful wife were also seen playing naughty (wholesome and scripted) pranks on one another. In one oh-so-cute clip, ___’s wife dumped a bucket of paper snow on ___’s head as he walked out of the bathroom. He fell to the carpet in premeditated shock and silliness, just like Waylon woulda done if such technology had existed in the late 70s.
At press time, _____ was helping his social media manager edit a video in which the singer ‘hilariously’ suggests the kids leave out White Claw and Quest bars for Santa.
Dec 15, 2022
Dec 13, 2022
Dec 7, 2022
Even if you hadn’t listened to it, this would be your #1. Even if it was terrible, this would be your #1. Even if Miranda slapped your step-dad and keyed your Altima, this would be your #1.
Even if you hadn’t listened to it, this would be your #1. Even if it was terrible, this would be your #1. Even if Beyonce besmirched your mother and keyed your Nissan Leaf, this would be your #1. You either write for a hipsterish music site or are a full time Beyonce stan.
You are a former bro-country fan who finally graduated from the community college after 5 years. The pickup truck your dad bought you in 11th grade is long in the tooth but it still gets you to the construction site. You still do mostly the same things in your spare time that you’ve done since 11th grade, but the soundtrack is better now. You read a little poetry, but don't tell your friends about it.
You are the same as the Zach Bryan fan above, but in your first year of community college, which you will never graduate. You claim you were never into bro-country, but there are t-shirts in your chest of drawers that would prove otherwise. You can’t hold down a part time job because weed.
You are a pot head, but it doesn’t matter because you are the HR person or business owner. You drive a 1998 Ford F-150 and people assume you are secretly wealthy. That would be true if you didn’t spend it all on shows, pot, and weaponry.
You’re shitting me, right?