Country Songs of the Summer

King of the Hill Country Reaction Gifs 4

When they say they love country music 

…like Beyonce and Dan + Shay 

When you normally tolerate Dale's conspiracy theories but he just brought Dolly into his lunacy

Backside of thirty and back on my own

An empty apartment don't feel like a home

Describe Morgan Wallen’s “Miami”

When Nancy keeps telling you about how she read on Facebook that Reba helped with Texas flood rescues and that Toby Keith is secretly still alive

What every country song from 2012-2017 was about

The only way anyone’s getting me to go to a Kane Brown concert 

"Hey dad check out this Bailey Zimmerman song, it slaps!"

When a kid walks into homeroom wearing a Thomas Rhett t-shirt

When you see Zach Bryan has returned to Twitter and you know he's pretty much guaranteed to crash out again soon

When you’re starting to suspect your son may be a Billy Strings fan 

Monday Morning Memes: Jason Aldean, Beyonce, 80s Radio

New Parody Album Covers: Cody Jinks, Trisha Yearwood, Thomas Rhett, etc.

(Hailey Whitters - Corn Queen)

Feculence

Country Music Fan Hospitalized After Online Gatekeeping Incident

Orly Perkins, before the life-altering gatekeeping

An Arkansas country music fan is in stable condition with multiple injuries to his feelings after an online gatekeeping incident. When a despicable meme making fun of his favorite singer crossed his timeline, Orly Perkins of Crawfordsville fell into a trigger induced coma on the spot, highlighting the dangers of gate-keeping.

Speaking from his West Memphis hospital bed, Perkins ran down the troubling attack to us. “Yeah man, I don’t ever go on Facebook except for my political news, but I was reading about fluoride making us all gay, when all of the sudden this meme making fun of Morgan Wallen showed up. I don’t even follow this “Fart the Music” guy so why am I seeing this loser?” he explained.

“Why anyone would spend their time trying to get me to stop listening to the G.O.A.T. is beyond me, and I immediately fell off my chair, liberals would call it a panic attack, but it was worse than that,” continued Perkins. “Gatekeeping almost killed me and should be outlawed!”

Perkins’ tragic situation is a real-world example of the dangers of controlling and limiting general access to something, including art and music. Farce the Music, the website and Facebook page in question, regularly “jokes” about great artists and forces people to stop listening to them. Under the veil of “satire,” Mr. Farce coerces fans of legendary singers like Thomas Rhett and Jason Aldean to listen to artists no one has ever heard of, like Turnpike Troubadours.

Orly Perkins has retained legal counsel in the wake of his severe injuries and plans to sue Farce the Music for medical costs, loss of work (Perkins is a copper wire harvester), and mental damages. “I’ve literally never heard a single other human call Morgan’s music or character into question, so clearly this farce guy was attempting to pressure me into listening to Waylon Jinks, or whoever. The shock nearly did me in. I’ll see his ass in court.” said Perkins.

At press time, Farce the Music was hard at work inducing 20-somethings into thinking Zach Bryan’s songs all sound alike.

Jamie Foxx Country Reaction Gifs

Pardon us son, she ain’t no kid

That’s a cocktail waitress in a Dolly Parton wig

When Jason Isbell sings “sorry the love songs all mean different things today”

When somebody says it’s lame for a middle aged man to run a meme page making fun of 20-30 year old singers

You don't know anybody who doesn't like Morgan Wallen?

When Jesus returns just as you were about to see Sturgill for the third time this year

When my wife said they should hand out depression meds with the latest Turnpike Troubadours album

PR email to me: Please consider reviewing this song. The artist was inspired by Ed Sheeran and Thomas Rhett. 

Me:

Five seconds into the “Seven Spanish Angels” recording session 

George Jones had a third personality no one talks about

It’s a great day to whoop somebody’s ass

When somebody says Dan + Shay is a great country music duo

It Ain't a State, It's a State of Mind

One Last Show

Sylvester Stallone Country Reaction Gifs

When Wilson’s cousin doesn’t find a good place to hide

What my favorite country songs are about 

Dudes who listen to Thomas Rhett let their girlfriend defend them

Beyonce is more country than the Applebees song bro

Let’s go see Brooks and Dunn …open for Morgan Wallen 

What BJ Barham is thinking whenever someone in the crowd keeps yelling out the name of a song they always play anyway

Racial harmony if everybody listened to Charley Crockett 

Blogger with 250 followers who reviewed an album one time when Brent Cobb comes to town 

When somebody thinks Aaron Lewis is a great singer but Jason Isbell isn’t

The Starkville city cops when Johnny Cash stopped to pick a few flowers 

An influencer got scammed out of $5000 trying to buy Morgan Wallen tickets??

You think Jason Aldean should play the Super Bowl halftime show?

If you graduated high school with an 8th grade reading level, Pony Bradshaw’s lyrics are