Showing posts with label Parmalee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parmalee. Show all posts

Feb 2, 2023

3 Up, 3 Down


3 Up


Zach Bryan - Something in the Orange

I don’t have much to say about this one honestly. It’s a really good song, and it’s awesome to see this actually getting mainstream airplay. It doesn’t fit, and feels like it could be the beginning of a change… or at least the continuation of the “mildly improving country radio” trend. 

A-


Bailey Zimmerman - Rock and a Hard Place

I don’t have much to say about this one either. It’s pretty good. I just think people would be surprised I like it, so I put it here. 

B-



Carley Pearce - What He Didn’t Do

Carly continues her winning streak with this (rightly) vindictive lament of a broken relationship. It’s a country song for adults and old souls, with real emotion, well-crafted lines, an exceptional delivery, and freakin’ dobro and resonator. Damn, that’s nice. I’m a big fan. 

A




3 Down


Tyler Hubbard - Dancin’ in the Country

Insipid, for one word. Bro lite, for two. This f***ing sucks, for three. Basically, take a Florida-Georgia Line party in a pasture song, add an atmosphere of romance, and dial back the guitars and you have “Dancin’ In the Country.” You already know the storyline from 10000 songs before this, but guy and girl start out in club, guy and girl drive to the country and do cliches. There are Silverado and Luccese name drops, there’s watermelon as an adjective, there’s red dirt. And he even has the temerity to mention Alabama and Alan Jackson. Please stop, I’m tired.

D-


Parmalee - Girl in Mine

One second in and I’m sighing and mad. Straight garbage. These dudes are like if Dan + Shay were on their first cycle of testosterone therapy. Just wimpy ass pop rock not even bothering with any ties to any particular era of actual country music. Recycled melodies, listless vocals, pointless vibe; this song has it all! If you don’t know what people mean when they say “boyfriend country,” this is what they mean. Soft, inoffensive, unmemorable, non-threatening (not that a country song should necessarily threaten you unless Chris Knight is singing it). The lyrics take this one over the top to being possibly the sappiest shit you’ve ever heard. This is the peak (or nadir) of boyfriend country, I hope. 

F


Kane & Katelyn Brown - Thank God

Look, this ain’t a bad song. It’s a perfectly serviceable pop love song. I have the radio on the pop station when I take my daughter to school in the mornings, and if this came on there, I wouldn’t change the station. Nothing groundbreaking or memorable exactly, but this is a decent tune. Here comes the ‘but’ and if you’ve been around here for a while, I bet you know what it is. (In an extremely cringe boomer voice) “It ain’t country.” We can argue the parameters of that genre forever and nobody would change their mind, so I’m just gonna state my facts. There is no story. There is no country drawl. There is no fiddle. There is no steel guitar. I still think you can have a “country song” without those 4 things, but you also have to pass the sniff test. “Thank God” does not. There is not the tiniest thread in this song tying it to any definition or intuitive knowledge of COUNTRY MUSIC. Is it closer than some mainstream 'country' songs? Sure, it’s mostly acoustic. That’s about it. Ed Sheehan is mostly acoustic and he’s not “up next on MISS 103 where we play only the greatest country.” 

C+ for song     F for genre placement

Sep 1, 2022

Only Murders in the Building Country Reaction Gifs

When given choice of a country song that slaps or a country song that whines

Clint Black?

When you're involved in vertical affection and he says he's gonna put on some Dustin Lynch for mood music

When the SEC has Kane Brown as bumper music despite your requests against it on Twitter

When he's taking you to Applebee's on the first date

When you're touring Garth's house and accidentally end up in the murder basement

Miranda Lambert?

A polite discussion of George Strait's greatness on Twitter

Just listen to 30 seconds of this new Parmalee song and tell me what you think

When you get Garth Brooks' cell #

Dec 14, 2021

Predicting 2022 in Mainstream Country Music



By Bobby Peacock

• Russell Dickerson revealed to actually be a deepfake

 Bobby continues to be the only person on the entire Internet not to like Lainey Wilson

 Luke Combs hits #1 with "Beer,” which is just him singing the word "beer" over and over again for four minutes

 Walker Hayes gets his second #1 with a cover of the "Chili's Baby Back Ribs" jingle

 Niko Moon runs crying to his mom when his next single fails to chart at all; claims radio PDs called him a poopyhead

 In an unprecedented move, Lauren Alaina records a duet with herself

 Kelsea Ballerini and HARDY propose to record a duet; plans canceled when they can't agree on which letters in the title should be capitalized, if any

 Jordan Davis buys dirt; realizes he can't find the one he can't live without; sells dirt

 Jason Aldean, Toby Keith, John Rich, Travis Tritt, and Aaron Lewis record a collab called "Red Voters with Blue Balls (Let's Go Brandon)"; song's lyric video gets deleted from YouTube for hate speech

 Brantley Gilbert actually does release the worst country song of all time -- oh wait, he already did that with "Bottoms Up"

 All four members of Parmalee discovered working at the same Arby's in Nashville

 Man previously caught sporting public erection due to Turnpike reunion hospitalized for priapism

 Cole Swindell gets his first celeb endorsement: his own personal line of Miracle Whip

 In an even more unprecedented move, Morgan Wallen releases a cover of Western Flyer's "Cherokee Highway"

 Bobby makes another stupidly long"best of the decade" list largely composed of songs that neither Trailer nor any Farce the Music reader has ever heard before

Apr 8, 2021

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #49 XL Edition

 It's Wrestlemania week, so here's an extra large edition of country reaction gifs.


If your friend doesn’t like Arlo McKinley


When I see FGL has yet another #1 song


When I see Alan Jackson’s new album has 21 songs


“Country music is an amalgamation of all America’s styles of music”


When somebody tries to tell me Chris Gaines and Garth Brooks are the same person


If I went to a pop-country music festival, I’d leave like this


Hey, let’s listen to my new Luke Bryan deluxe edition


When you walk in the bar in a good mood and they’re playing Parmalee


Niko Moon doesn’t like sad songs. Well f*** him, I do


To the hard rock bottom of your heart



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