Monday Morning Memes: Tim McGraw, Jason Aldean, Dierks Bentley

 

CoKo Fest 2 Announced

Enough With the Reboots

Country Originals & Knockoffs

Predicting Mainstream Country in 2024

By Bobby Peacock

* Caught up in his trend to collaborate with everyone, Riley Green includes 19 artists on his next single... then forgets to include himself

* Entire Billboard Hot Country Songs chart occupied by Zach Bryan songs for five weeks straight; new rule enacted the next week to counter this results in chart occupied entirely by Morgan Wallen songs

* Oliver Anthony Music banned from Dollar General in Farmville, Virginia for vandalizing a display of Fudge Rounds

* Latest Cole Swindell single proven to be both written and produced by AI; results inconclusive on whether Cole himself is an AI

* Several casual Randy Travis fans experience shock upon hearing "Whisper My Name" for the first time

* Disturbance at Woodlawn Memorial Park in Nashville discovered to be Dobie Gray rolling in his grave after the release of Dustin Lynch's "Chevrolet"

* "You Can't Hide Beautiful" by Aaron Lines officially recognized as the first "boyfriend country" song

* Oliver Anthony Music denies allegations that he is related to Lorenzo Music, the former voice actor for Garfield

* For the first time, Luke Combs gets a single all the way to #1 before it even has a Wikipedia article

* Jason Aldean releases new single "But Some of My Best Friends Are Black"... alongside a cover of Cledus T. Judd's "Illegals"

* Bobby continues to be the only Farce the Music regular who refuses to make jokes about Kane Brown or Maren Morris

* Due to an overflow error, Zach Bryan's next album listed on Spotify as having -27 songs on it

* After the success of "Watermelon Moonshine", Lainey Wilson releases "We Danced Regardless", all the while denying allegations that she is just going to keep copying Deana Carter

* Blake Shelton continues his slide into irrelevance by collaborating with Pitbull... oh wait, he already did that

* At last, the long-awaited return of the Smokin' Armadillos

I'd Forgotten How Bad Mainstream Country Was 10 Years Ago

 

Sheep

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #74

The security guy at a Brantley Gilbert concert noticing the stank of unwashed humans

Yeah they've got something special, it's brotherly love

Zach Bryan coming up with another banger line to make college girls swoon

When I post a meme making a joke

about a non-pop-country artist

Jerry when he hears somebody call George Strait "The King"

When dad finally gets sick of your slacker roots rock and your grungy beard

What passes as a pickup line in a Cole Swindell song

Taylor Swift when she sees an attractive famous man in her general age range

Strike me down if I cut my family ties

Me if I was forced to go to a Kane Brown concert

If you're Corb Lund and you step in something, most likely...

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: August '23

 A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song  where the good attributes and the bad are dead even.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is a 4 point drop from May (the previous time we did this chart). The best song (by a hair over Hailey Whiters) is Luke Combs’ monster hit cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car.” The worst is Parmalee's "Girl in Mine" for the second time in a row, narrowly beating out Luke Bryan’s insipid “But I Got a Beer in My Hand.” I don’t really see any particular trends besides it being summer, always a celebration of cliches on country radio. 

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

If These 10 Country Singers Grew Their Hair Out

 

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #72

Zach Bryan could sell out arenas 95% of the guys they play on the radio (frequently) couldn't

When your favorite country singer is Cole Swindell

One of the stoners at the back of the 49 Winchester show really getting into it

When the band asks for requests and somebody hollers out "Eatin' P***y/Kickin' Ass"

How it feels when you find an unattended load of copper

That man was calling your intelligence into question for saying Morgan Wallen is the greatest country singer

When they prefer the wrong version of "Cover Me Up"

Is it okay if we listen to some Thomas Rhett for a while?

When the people heard Jason Aldean rap that one time

When you find out Farce the Music turns 15 next week

Danny McBride Country Reaction Gifs

Sturgill Simpson doing a talk at his local school

When everybody finds out about the Cole Swindell CD you own

What's your favorite Lonestar song?

And the answer to the question: Who should play Conway Twitty in a biopic? is.... 

We'll always recognize

When we see ol' Glory flying

When your snitch brother finds out you're using a fake ID to get into an 18 and up Vandoliers show

When somebody walks in wearing a Kane Brown shirt

Is Walker Hayes shinola or..

Morgan Wallen fans, wanting him to say the thing again