Showing posts with label Cole Swindell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cole Swindell. Show all posts

Dec 29, 2023

Predicting Mainstream Country in 2024


By Bobby Peacock

* Caught up in his trend to collaborate with everyone, Riley Green includes 19 artists on his next single... then forgets to include himself


* Entire Billboard Hot Country Songs chart occupied by Zach Bryan songs for five weeks straight; new rule enacted the next week to counter this results in chart occupied entirely by Morgan Wallen songs


* Oliver Anthony Music banned from Dollar General in Farmville, Virginia for vandalizing a display of Fudge Rounds


* Latest Cole Swindell single proven to be both written and produced by AI; results inconclusive on whether Cole himself is an AI


* Several casual Randy Travis fans experience shock upon hearing "Whisper My Name" for the first time


* Disturbance at Woodlawn Memorial Park in Nashville discovered to be Dobie Gray rolling in his grave after the release of Dustin Lynch's "Chevrolet"


* "You Can't Hide Beautiful" by Aaron Lines officially recognized as the first "boyfriend country" song


* Oliver Anthony Music denies allegations that he is related to Lorenzo Music, the former voice actor for Garfield


* For the first time, Luke Combs gets a single all the way to #1 before it even has a Wikipedia article


* Jason Aldean releases new single "But Some of My Best Friends Are Black"... alongside a cover of Cledus T. Judd's "Illegals"


* Bobby continues to be the only Farce the Music regular who refuses to make jokes about Kane Brown or Maren Morris


* Due to an overflow error, Zach Bryan's next album listed on Spotify as having -27 songs on it


* After the success of "Watermelon Moonshine", Lainey Wilson releases "We Danced Regardless", all the while denying allegations that she is just going to keep copying Deana Carter


* Blake Shelton continues his slide into irrelevance by collaborating with Pitbull... oh wait, he already did that


* At last, the long-awaited return of the Smokin' Armadillos




Sep 28, 2023

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #74

The security guy at a Brantley Gilbert concert noticing the stank of unwashed humans

Yeah they've got something special, it's brotherly love

Zach Bryan coming up with another banger line to make college girls swoon

When I post a meme making a joke
about a non-pop-country artist

Jerry when he hears somebody call George Strait "The King"

When dad finally gets sick of your slacker roots rock and your grungy beard

What passes as a pickup line in a Cole Swindell song

Taylor Swift when she sees an attractive famous man in her general age range

Strike me down if I cut my family ties

Me if I was forced to go to a Kane Brown concert

If you're Corb Lund and you step in something, most likely...

Aug 8, 2023

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: August '23

 A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song  where the good attributes and the bad are dead even.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-10) overall which is a 4 point drop from May (the previous time we did this chart). The best song (by a hair over Hailey Whiters) is Luke Combs’ monster hit cover of Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car.” The worst is Parmalee's "Girl in Mine" for the second time in a row, narrowly beating out Luke Bryan’s insipid “But I Got a Beer in My Hand.” I don’t really see any particular trends besides it being summer, always a celebration of cliches on country radio. 



Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.


Jun 29, 2023

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #72

Zach Bryan could sell out arenas 95% of the guys they play on the radio (frequently) couldn't

When your favorite country singer is Cole Swindell

One of the stoners at the back of the 49 Winchester show really getting into it

When the band asks for requests and somebody hollers out "Eatin' P***y/Kickin' Ass"

How it feels when you find an unattended load of copper

That man was calling your intelligence into question for saying Morgan Wallen is the greatest country singer

When they prefer the wrong version of "Cover Me Up"

Is it okay if we listen to some Thomas Rhett for a while?

When the people heard Jason Aldean rap that one time

When you find out Farce the Music turns 15 next week

Dec 8, 2022

Danny McBride Country Reaction Gifs

Sturgill Simpson doing a talk at his local school

When everybody finds out about the Cole Swindell CD you own

What's your favorite Lonestar song?

And the answer to the question: Who should play Conway Twitty in a biopic? is.... 


When your snitch brother finds out you're using a fake ID to get into an 18 and up Vandoliers show

When somebody walks in wearing a Kane Brown shirt

Is Walker Hayes shinola or..

Morgan Wallen fans, wanting him to say the thing again

Sep 30, 2022

Luke Combs Changes Fan’s Tire on Stage

One Luke Combs fanatic got more than he bargained for at one of the recent shows in Green Bay, WI, and made a memory that will last a lifetime. Late in the Resch Center show on September 17, Luke noticed an interesting sign in the audience.

“I’ve Got a Flat, Hope We Can Get Home” said the simple black-lettered poster board. It was held by middle-aged dad Vernon Perkins of Two Rivers, standing beside his two obviously embarrassed kids he’d brought to the show. Combs said he was moved by the sign and loved to give back to his fans.


What that led to was something nobody would’ve expected. Combs spoke to his stage manager and pointed to the man, who was quickly escorted out of the arena. Nearby fans were confused but went on enjoying their night of screamed country songs about beer.


Ten minutes later, between songs, the back of the arena suddenly opened up and Vernon drove his 2003 GMC Silverado onto the stage, careful not to run over any stray beers or bass players. The crowd erupted, thinking it was just a prop for an upcoming song about trucks and beer.


Luke sauntered to the front of the stage as a large toolbox was wheeled in behind him. “Well, I’m already dressed for this,” he laughed, pointing to the Meineke button-up with his name on it that he was wearing. “Let’s change this man’s tire!” The crowd erupted again.


As the band laid into a scorching take of “When It Rains It Pours,” Luke quickly jacked the truck up into place and began removing the lug nuts. Never missing a note or a beat, he deftly removed the deflated Goodyear Wrangler and replaced it with the spare. He was careful to put everything back in its place, still hitting every lyric and intonation just right. It was masterful.


Combs finished the job in a mere 5 1/2 minutes, stopping after the first chorus of “Forever After All” to shake Mr. Perkins’ hand. “That’ll be $35,” smiled Combs. “Nah, but seriously, talk to my manager and we’ll get you set up with a new set of tires, those other three are looking bald as Cole Swindell, my man.”


Perkins graciously thanked Combs and waved to the crowd. As he was about to return his truck to the parking lot, Combs asked him “Now can we talk about your cabin air filter?”


Sep 29, 2022

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #63

You wanna listen to Tyler Hubbard, Cole Swindell, and Russell Dickerson?

When you let your friend see your Spotify and he finds the "Rascal Flatts songs that aren't half bad" playlist

When you're looking forward to some cocaine country dancing before the night is over

Chris Knight when someone slights him in any way

When you use a Wheeler Walker Jr. song title in an argument with your wife

Me trying to keep a tough, unexpressive exterior when somebody plays "The Mississippi Squirrel Revival"

When you spot and observe some country ladies with a fresh case of beer and a grill

When your little brother hears "Cotton Eyed Joe" for the first time

Even the most reserved man at the bar when a Conway Twitty song comes on the jukebox

I don't know... make your own caption for this one


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