Jun 1, 2022
May 24, 2022
May 10, 2022
Apr 8, 2022
Though we’ve barely stepped foot into Spring, the deadline for stupid-ass, shallow, moronic, brand name filled, pandering pop-country summer songs is quickly nearing. With the slow movement of the charts these days, a song released now might have a chance of peaking by late August or early September, unless your name is Luke Combs or Morgan Wallen.
Word out of Nashville says around 43 B, C, and D-list artists were preparing to drop tunes about skinny dipping, trucks, feet on dashes, cut off jeans, girls in trucks, trucks in mud, bonfires in fields, sex in a field, beer in a truck, and the July moon in the next couple of weeks. Though most of these will never climb into the top 40, the braindead, embarrassing, numbskull summer song is a tried and true tradition for artists every year, even if they’re simply going through the motions.
Even country legends have fallen into this trite formula in the past, with Clint Black (“Summer’s Coming”) and Travis Tritt (“Girls Gone Wild”) putting out their doofiest, most cringe-worthy songs simply with the hopes that country fans would like to listen to songs about what they’re doing in summer while they’re doing it.
Up and comer Chance Russell is excited about his forthcoming debut single “Livin’ for the Summer.” “It’s about you know, living, and summer, and making sure to be living for the summer.” said a smiling Russell as he signed off on the final mix, replete with computerized drums and meticulously corrected vocals.
In writer’s rooms across Nashville, some were still trying to bang out empty-headed bangers at the last minute. 9 dudes were attempting to find a rhyme for ‘hard seltzer’ in one plush office, while 13 guys and one girl were adding some last minute slang to their shit-for-brains summer slapper in the suite next door.
Other titles to be on the lookout for include:
“Married in Myrtle”
“White Claw Can, Fresh Spray Tan”
“Redneck Vibe Check”
“Dirt Road Drip”
“Left My Heart on Miramar”
Feb 22, 2022
Feb 16, 2022
Stoner? Probably. Beast? Definitely.
Large. Does the same thing over and over but still very popular.
Loves playing the heel. Very talented. Will talk shit at a moment’s notice.
Awesome. Takes up for herself. Most people don’t know who she is yet, but they will.
Tall. Annoyingly positive to the point of ‘go away’ heat.* Old.
Awesomely talented, but not as ‘over’** as they should be.
Not very good at anything, but always seems to be hanging around.
*Go away heat - when fans are legitimately not entertained and want the performer to stop it.
**Over - generating a large reaction from the fans.