Showing posts with label Kenny Chesney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kenny Chesney. Show all posts

Apr 25, 2024

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #81

He grabbed a carton of milk and he poured a glass. I smiled and said I’ll have some of that. 

When somebody plays some Paul Cauthen on the jukebox when you're five mojitos in

How my soul feels when I hear a Hardy song against my will 

Chris LeDoux after telling that gang about tornados and ol' blue northers

Morgan Wallen when one of his friends takes the chair away

When you take your guns to town despite mama's warnings

This first night at Morgan Wallen’s bar

When Sturgill Simpson met Merle Haggard 

Heaven was waitin' at the top of Jacob's ladder

When somebody keeps yelling out "Play I Hope He Breaks Your Heart!" at an American Aquarium concert

When you try to play Dan + Shay on Touchtunes at a biker bar

Mar 14, 2024

E.T. Country Reaction Gifs

West Virginia fans when "Country Roads" is played at the game

When you check upcoming local concerts and it's all crap like Jordan Davis and Sam Hunt

Listens to Tyler Childers once

When somebody plays you a 2024 country song and it sounds like a 2019 rap song

Thought police coming to tell you who really invented country music

Kenny Chesney's date when he takes his hat off

I'm pretty good at drinkin' beer 

If you're old enough to remember Kenny Rogers getting played on the radio, I bet this terror is etched into your memory

The Monday after a 3-day festival when you're over 35

Lil' Jason Aldean's Halloween costume circa 1987

Mar 6, 2024

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: March '24

A poop emoji is negative, a strike thru is positive, an asterisk denotes a song where the good attributes and the bad are dead even. 

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (+3) overall which is an 8 point improvement from December. The best song is Cody Johnson's "The Painter." The worst is Hardy's "Truck Bed," with stiff competition from Kane Brown's "I Can Feel It." Overall, a decent set of songs but nothing to write home about. 

*Note: a few scores changed a bit since Dec. due to songs growing on me or the opposite

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Jan 19, 2024

Daring New Country Singer Blends Varied Influences Into His Shitty Music

Daring new country singer Skip Malone is on deck for stardom, and he’s here to put Nashville on notice. The dashing 21-year-old out of West Memphis, AR, wants everyone to know that he won’t put out a note of music that wasn’t influenced by music he actually listens to, everything he listens to.

His debut single “Night Like What” blends the stylings of Green Day, Drake, and Kenny Chesney into an unbearable mess of soulless slop. And that’s what he’s counting on. Not on it being an unbearable mess of soulless slop, he’s counting on over-30 country fans to think it’s an unbearable mess of soulless slop. 

“No shade, but I hope they hate it!” laughed Malone. “The more the ops can’t stand it, the more streams we’ll do. You and Saving Country Music and all those blue hairs on Twitter will probably put more cash in my Venmo than the quality of my music.” 

Newly signed to DBAG69, a subsidiary of Mercury Nashville, Malone is already scheduled to open for Dustin Lynch at some shows before his godawful song has even been released to radio. He says the company has promised their full support behind him, already purchasing a tour bus from an ailing legend, and plastering Malone’s ultra-punchable face all over it. 

“TikTok is where we’re really taking off,” said Malone. “Got videos of college girls dancing to “night like what what what” all over the place. It’s humbling fr fr.” (Editor’s note: He actually said “fr fr” out loud)

The song itself, about (you guessed it) meeting a girl in a bar and driving out to the country in his suburban assault truck, sounds like someone having a mild stroke during a Florida-Georgia Line karaoke performance. There’s snap beats, metal riffs, a hint of banjo, an EDM breakdown, a rapped bridge, and autotune galore. It’s as if every channel on Sirius XM was played on top of one another at once, but with a singular programmed beat. 

Currently dating one of Morgan Wallen’s leftovers, Skip Malone looks to have a massive year and he’s excited. “It’s gone be bussin going on tour with Dustin Lynch and dropping this fire later this year.” he smiled. 

At press time, Skip Malone was putting the finishing touches on his second single, “No Simp No Cap.”

Jan 18, 2024

Stone Cold Steve Austin Country Reaction Gifs

When you find a Waylon belt and buckle at the antique mall

Me to the radio when they play the censored version of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia"

When you catch Santa a few days after he didn't deliver the Doc Watson box set you wanted for the second year in a row

Kenny Chesney at the end of "The Good Stuff"

Alan Jackson trying to sit through the Beyonce performance

Nashville record execs to any long haired or bearded singers  from Appalachia

When you break the Hippocratic Oath because the patient won't quit listening to Luke Bryan in his room

And now here's "Feathered Indians"

Every time I see Walker Hayes performing before or during a sporting event

When they won't allow you be the one to attack special guest Hardy on WWE Raw

That new Shane Smith & The Saints song is fire

When you realize the guy who said Jason Aldean is his favorite country singer was being serious

Me, if gatekeeping was a crime

Dec 20, 2023

More Country Songs Illustrated by AI

See if you can figure them out. List of songs at the bottom.

Robert Earl Keen "Merry Christmas from the Family"
Jamey Johnson "High Cost of Living"
Willie Nelson "Whiskey River"
Kenny Chesney "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy"
Patsy Cline "Walkin' After Midnight"
Alan Jackson "Chattahoochee"
George Jones "He Stopped Loving Her Today"
Clint Black "Killin' Time"


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