Showing posts with label 3 Up 3 Down. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 3 Up 3 Down. Show all posts

Feb 2, 2023

3 Up, 3 Down


3 Up


Zach Bryan - Something in the Orange

I don’t have much to say about this one honestly. It’s a really good song, and it’s awesome to see this actually getting mainstream airplay. It doesn’t fit, and feels like it could be the beginning of a change… or at least the continuation of the “mildly improving country radio” trend. 

A-


Bailey Zimmerman - Rock and a Hard Place

I don’t have much to say about this one either. It’s pretty good. I just think people would be surprised I like it, so I put it here. 

B-



Carley Pearce - What He Didn’t Do

Carly continues her winning streak with this (rightly) vindictive lament of a broken relationship. It’s a country song for adults and old souls, with real emotion, well-crafted lines, an exceptional delivery, and freakin’ dobro and resonator. Damn, that’s nice. I’m a big fan. 

A




3 Down


Tyler Hubbard - Dancin’ in the Country

Insipid, for one word. Bro lite, for two. This f***ing sucks, for three. Basically, take a Florida-Georgia Line party in a pasture song, add an atmosphere of romance, and dial back the guitars and you have “Dancin’ In the Country.” You already know the storyline from 10000 songs before this, but guy and girl start out in club, guy and girl drive to the country and do cliches. There are Silverado and Luccese name drops, there’s watermelon as an adjective, there’s red dirt. And he even has the temerity to mention Alabama and Alan Jackson. Please stop, I’m tired.

D-


Parmalee - Girl in Mine

One second in and I’m sighing and mad. Straight garbage. These dudes are like if Dan + Shay were on their first cycle of testosterone therapy. Just wimpy ass pop rock not even bothering with any ties to any particular era of actual country music. Recycled melodies, listless vocals, pointless vibe; this song has it all! If you don’t know what people mean when they say “boyfriend country,” this is what they mean. Soft, inoffensive, unmemorable, non-threatening (not that a country song should necessarily threaten you unless Chris Knight is singing it). The lyrics take this one over the top to being possibly the sappiest shit you’ve ever heard. This is the peak (or nadir) of boyfriend country, I hope. 

F


Kane & Katelyn Brown - Thank God

Look, this ain’t a bad song. It’s a perfectly serviceable pop love song. I have the radio on the pop station when I take my daughter to school in the mornings, and if this came on there, I wouldn’t change the station. Nothing groundbreaking or memorable exactly, but this is a decent tune. Here comes the ‘but’ and if you’ve been around here for a while, I bet you know what it is. (In an extremely cringe boomer voice) “It ain’t country.” We can argue the parameters of that genre forever and nobody would change their mind, so I’m just gonna state my facts. There is no story. There is no country drawl. There is no fiddle. There is no steel guitar. I still think you can have a “country song” without those 4 things, but you also have to pass the sniff test. “Thank God” does not. There is not the tiniest thread in this song tying it to any definition or intuitive knowledge of COUNTRY MUSIC. Is it closer than some mainstream 'country' songs? Sure, it’s mostly acoustic. That’s about it. Ed Sheehan is mostly acoustic and he’s not “up next on MISS 103 where we play only the greatest country.” 

C+ for song     F for genre placement

Jun 22, 2022

3 Up, 3 Down: Jackson Dean, Dustin Lynch, Jelly Roll, etc.



3 Up

 
Jelly Roll - Son of a Sinner

Yeah, that Jelly Roll. The one we’ve made fun of before when running down stereotypes of hick-hop fans and artists. Mr. Roll, who’s mostly known for his country rapping, has been hiding (from those of us who haven’t actually listened to his music, his fans knew) a true talent: one hell of a soulful voice. He’s also a solid songwriter, co-writing this one with Ernest (of “Flower Shops”) and David Stevens. There isn’t a ton of new ground broken in these lyrics, but they’re moving enough, and real enough to be a definite standout on the country chart. But again, the thing is that Jelly Roll sings the hell out of this song, and it’s impressive. 

A


Jimmie Allen - Down Home

There are several other songs on the charts I like more than this one that I could have included. It’s squarely in the pocket of the current pop-country sound-scape with its production and some of the cadence. However, it’s well sung, not overly bro-or-boyfriend-country, and I like the direction Jimmie is moving. This is just kind of an atta-boy I’m putting out into the world in hopes he’ll keep going toward a more organic sound. Allen has the talent and authenticity to move the needle. Neither a ‘change the channel’ song nor a guilty pleasure, it’s a song that shows promise and it’s catchy enough to tap your foot along to and not feel like you’re being overly pandered to.

C+


Jackson Dean - Don't Come Lookin'

When this song first came out, I gave it a quick listen and liked it enough to put it on my “Mainstream Country That Doesn’t Suck” playlist. Then I forgot about it. I was sampling the country station a few weeks back and heard a swampy country rock song that sounded so different from what else they were playing I had to Google the lyrics and see who sang it. It was this song (duh, I’m old and forgetful). Anyway, this rocks, in a bluesy redneck kind of way. Sure, it’s a song about getting away from it all out in the country, but there are no bonfires, beers, hotties, or the typical fare of pop-country. Jackson leaves the specifics out for you to fill in yourself. You don’t have to be spoon-fed. 

B+


3 Down

Russell Dickerson ft/Jake Scott - She Likes It

Russell has recently made comments about how he doesn’t like us. You know, us… the ones who want modern country to have some kind of ties to its roots. This song is just a big ole poke in the eye to let us know he was serious. He’s gonna take his music in whatever direction he pleases and call it country, and screw you boomers. Most of Russell’s music prior to this song has been potboiler boyfriend country with no particular personality, and he hasn’t sold many records. So this is what you do to sell records. It’s still boyfriend country; he’s just dialed up the pop influences to 10 to make it sound more hip. Because twang and traditional instruments don’t sell, right Tyler Childers and Cody Jinks? This is flat out terrible and I wouldn’t like it even if it was marketed as pop.

F


Dustin Lynch - Party Mode

The first time I heard this song, the first verse lulled me into thinking it might be a tolerable song. Then the chorus hit. It’s like the writers said “What if we made the verses kind of a throwback 90s/00s sound that pulls people in, and then throw a big pile of fresh dog shit in their face?” It’s so bad, the relatively decent verses can’t even pull the grade up. If you were driving with the windows down to the first 43 seconds of this song without ever having heard it, and stopped at a light when the chorus hit, you’d strain your shoulder reaching to turn it off or roll the window up before anyone nearby could hear you listening to that insipid, embarrassing dreck. Pretty sure Dustin is just aiming for Tik-Tok virality with this nonsense. You know, just like Hank would’ve done.

D


Chris Janson - Keys to the Country

This song is far more “country” than the other two selections above, but it’s a sub-genre you may remember with disgust: Bro-country. Yeah, it ain’t completely dead. I read the lyrics a few weeks ago before actually listening, and just rolled my eyes (as much as you can while reading something). Been there done that to infinity and beyond. Hearing it today for the first time was a slightly better experience, but affirmed the “bro country” label. Unlike a lot of the cookie cutter dude-bros, Chris has some real talent. Wish he’d show it off a bit more often, but when you’re trying to clamber up from C-list to B-list, I guess you have to make some concessions. Also “I ain’t got the key to the city, but I got the keys to the country” doesn’t hit as a hook the way they think it does… comes off flatter than Highway 61.  (Note, there are several songs worse than this on the charts… looking at you Walker Hayes… but I wanted some variety on this post)

C-

Jan 15, 2021

3 Up, 3 Down: January '21


3 Up




Lainey Wilson - Things a Man Oughtta Know

First and foremost, this is a country song. It's a modern pop-country song, but it features organic instrumentation, country vocals, country imagery, and story-telling. There's listing, yeah, but it's used to the furtherance of the theme, revealing the message a little at a time. Good stuff, and highly impressive as a debut single. And it seems to be getting some traction.

B+


Carly Pearce - Next Girl

Clever hook, strong vocals, catchy melody, strong message. What's not to like? Carly is such a promising artist; I hope this is huge for her. 

B+



Eric Church - Hell of a View

A mid-tempo anthem in the vein of “Talledega” and “Springsteen,” this is another winner from Church. Hey guys in the category below: See! It’s possible to write a love song that isn’t whiny and tediously selling a supplicant viewpoint in a relationship. Be equals, you crybabies. Anyway, “Hell of a View” is catchy and poetic, and non-embarrassing.

B+


3 Down


Niko Moon - Good Time

I already said enough when I named this the worst ‘country’ song of 2020. It may qualify for 2021 too. It’s that bad. 

F


Cole Swindell - Single Saturday Night

Cole has done some moderately better work recently (not that the songs I actually like are ever released as singles) but this isn’t in that category. This starts off with all the sonic signifiers of boyfriend country and gets no better from there. Listless, forgettable, and cookie-cutter. “White Claw” brand name drop… is that the first in a hit song? Anyway, this sucks and it kinda feels desperate. 

D-


Parmalee & Blanco Brown - Just the Way

Another boyfriend country song, I’m seeing a theme. There is nothing whatsoever country about this song. It’s listless, forgettable, and cookie-cutter. And it’s so cloying and wimpy. Stop worshipping women. I mean, don’t worship men either, or any other gender. Who wants to be pandered to this damn much? It’s amazing that something so boring and bland can make me want to punch inanimate things to get my rage out. Crap. 

F



Mar 11, 2020

3 Up 3 Down: Chase Rice, Ingrid Andress, Midland, etc.



3 Up

Carly Pearce & Lee Brice “Hope You’re Happy Now”
No snap beats, no slang, real instruments. Lee and Carly’s hit is a pop-country duet full of heartache and harmonies. Their voices sound great together. It’s one of those sad songs that makes you feel good. Well done. 
B+

Midland “Cheatin’ Songs”
We’re over their back story now - you either like their music or don’t. I do. This is a slice of 70s Bellamy Bros-esque goodness with steel guitar and modern slickness. The low key harmonies create just the right mood and there’s even a little self-awareness mixed into the lyrics. Midland is consistently one of the best mainstream artists out there and “Cheatin’ Songs” is another gem.
A

Ingrid Andress “More Hearts Than Mine”
Ain’t a whole lot country about this, but it’s a well-written and gets a lot more personal than most radio fare, bringing a fairly unique angle to relationship tunes. Andress’ delivery occasional veers toward that indie-pop style I hate so much, but never quite goes there and her conversational tone works well for the subject matter. Glad to see this song hit the top 10.
B+

3 Down

Jordan Davis “Slow Dance in a Parking Lot”
Standard issue dude pop-country, typical mid-tempo blah-ness, electronically affected vocals. This is pure boyfriend country. At least bro-country was loud and proud with its crappiness. This is dull and forgettable just like Jordan Davis would be without the beard.
D

Locash “One Big Country Song”
At least it doesn’t have snap beats? That’s a positive I suppose. Locash doesn’t sound particularly inspired …ever… but particularly on this anthem about the shared experiences and values of country fans. “Everybody knows the words to ‘Mama Tried’” is an actual lyric of this song and I guarantee you that 80%+ of Locash fans do not in fact know those words. Honestly, there are several songs much worse than this in the top 40 right now - I was just trying to avoid the usual suspects - but this is nothing you haven’t heard before.
C-

Chase Rice “Lonely if You Are”
Snap beats, typical bouncy R&B lite delivery. This is pretty much a Sam Hunt rip-off without Sam’s lyrical ability and likability (and I don’t care for any Sam Hunt songs, so that’s pretty rough). It’s a booty call song that somehow comes off both sleazy and sleepy. There are a few early Chase Rice songs that show some promise, before he was asking fine ass girls to slide on over or whatever, so one would hope he’d eventually dig a little deeper in his subject matter, but nah. Once a bro, always a bro.
F

Sep 20, 2019

3 Up, 3 Down


3 Up

Jon Pardi - Heartache Medication
It’s hard to believe a song that starts out with a fiddle is actually a hit in this day and age. Pardi’s country, this song is country, what more do you need to know? It’s not exactly groundbreaking in the lyrical department, but it’s well written and at least copies all the good stuff. I’m really looking forward to his new album. Aside from “Heartache on the Dance Floor,” I’ve liked all Jon’s songs so far.
B+

Runaway June - Buy My Own Drinks
What’s this? Women with a top 10 song? I’m sure some IHeartRadio analyst somewhere is counting this as 3 songs by women for their stats, since Runaway June has 3 members. The song: it’s propulsive, confident, and catchy. It’s also timely. I hope radio will give this group a fair shake on future singles as well; their underrated Blue Roses album has quite a few that deserve airplay. 
B+

Lady Antebellum - What If I Never Get Over You
Shut up. I know it’s not very country, and Lady Antebellum is usually reality-show scripted kiss background music at best, but this is pretty good …so leave me alone. It calls back to their early swoony ballads, and for me that’s not a bad thing. Lady A got off the rails a few years ago with unmemorable …uh, songs… I don’t even recall any of them enough to give a fair description, but this seems to be a pointed turn back to what they do best. And it’s a sad song! And there are real instruments! The bar is low these days, what can I say? The harmonies are beautiful though.
B


3 Down

Chris Lane - I Don’t Know About You
It starts out bad and gets indescribably worse almost immediately. Heavy beats, R&B copycat vocal style, modern slang-y lyrics …but this is (air quotes) country y’all. While I listened to this to write a few words about it, I kept checking over my should to make sure nobody thought I was listening for my enjoyment. The chorus has lyrics nearly identical to several other pop-country songs, as I illustrated in a meme last month. Come to think of it, “country” songs are basically just memes now. Take a format and make slight changes to it and pass it around. As Public Enemy once poignantly asked “Who stole the soul?”
F

Jimmie Allen - Make Me Want To
Jimmie has some talent, and at least a smidgen of promise. However, this song fulfills no promise whatsoever. It employs snap-beats and paint-by-numbers lyrics for typical 2019 mainstream country radio fodder. It’s background music. The chorus has lyrics nearly identical to several other pop-country songs (including the one above), as I illustrated in a meme last month. Come to think of it, “country” songs are basically just memes now. Take a format and make slight changes to it and pass it around. As Public Enemy once poignantly asked “Who stole the soul?” This one’s catchier than Chris Lane’s nearly identical song and Jimmie has a better voice, so I’ll give it a
D

Luke Bryan - Knockin’ Boots
The good: Simple instrumentation, no clutter. The bad: Everything else. Who thought it was a good idea to bring back a bit of 90s slang that only stuck around for 3-4 years and a couple of hit songs from Candyman and H-Town, anyway? That’s wack yo. Circling back around to the simplicity of this song - the lyrics are also simple, but the definition of ‘simple’ that means stupid. I can’t stand repetitive nonsense… boots need knockin’, knockin’ boots… I feel stupid typing that, imagine singing it, imagine enjoying someone singing it. 
F

Oct 26, 2018

3 Up 3 Down: Chris Young, Cody Johnson, Kenny Chesney, etc.



3 Up:

Luke Combs - She Got the Best of Me
Luke Combs is hope for the future on country radio. No, he's no country music savior. Nobody's gonna mistake him for the next Waylon. Still, he's a throwback - even if the era he's a throwback to is the 90s. There's twang, real instruments, and real emotion. "She Got the Best of Me" is a catchy power ballad that'll stick in your head after a few listens. The vocal performance is strong and the lyrics are solid - though one wonders if he's telling the audience they're just getting the leftovers.
B

Kenny Chesney ft. Mindy Smith - Better Boat
Travis Meadows gets another big single and that's enough reason to root for this song. On top of that, Mindy Smith gets her first top 40 song ever with this release. Kenny's performance lacks the passion of Meadow's lived-in delivery, but there's little to complain about here. It's a thoughtful, restrained song that stands out amongst a sea of same-sounding mid tempo thumpers. 
A-

Cody Johnson - On My Way to You
The Texas darling seems well on his way to national stardom and it's good to see that he hasn't compromised a thing to get there. "On My Way to You" is a more country and more detail-oriented take on Rascal Flatts' "God Blessed the Broken Road." What stands out to me about this song is how there's still a tear in Cody's voice despite the positive subject matter. That's important. Hope this one goes to #1.
B+


3 Down:

Chris Young - Hangin' On
It's depressing to see one of the potentially great voices of this generation wasted on such meh radio fodder as this. "Hangin' On" is like off-brand vanilla ice cream that kinda has that funny taste from being in the freezer too long and has those weird ice crystals in every bite. There's nothing too shameful about the lyrics and there's no hip-hop beat; this song just sucks. Hopefully, the success of Luke Combs and Cody Johnson will inspire Chris to go back to the sound that brought him to the dance.
D-

Dustin Lynch - Good Girl
It's depressing to see one of the potentially pretty good voices of this generation wast… oh, who am I kidding? Yeah, Dustin had a couple of good pop-country songs at first, but this is who he is now: a good looking fake cowboy who sings vapid songs for undiscerning mainstream "country" fans and their boyfriends. There's a lot shameful about the lyrics and there's a hip-hop beat and this song just sucks. I hold out no hope Dustin Lynch will ever put out another song I'm not embarrassed to hear.
F

Mitchell Tenpenny - Drunk Me
Please don't let this guy happen. Aside from the "Bitches" controversy, I CANNOT FREAKING STAND MITCHELL TENPENNY'S VOICE. He's just terrible to the point that I feel rage welling up in me when I hear it. There is literally not one even microscopic thread of country in this song. It's fake ass watered down white boy R&B with some rock guitars thrown in to make it acceptable to play on the country station. I suppose the chorus is fairly catchy but it doesn't redeem this absolute feckless turd. Could he just go away?
F



Mar 15, 2018

3 Up 3 Down: March 2018


3 Up

Luke Bryan - Most People Are Good
What's this? Luke Bryan spoken of in a positive manner? Have you finally lost it, Trailer? Nope - a good song's a good song. This tune is simple, quaint even. It has timely and timeless lyrics. Luke does a fine job with it. On top of that, it's a country song. I know he's still got to pump out the mindless bangers to keep the arenas full, but let's at least hope he's beginning a transition to more mature fare like this winner.
A-

Cole Swindell - Break Up in the End
What's this? Cole Swindell spoken of in a positive manner? etc. 
This one is actually more of a surprise to me, since (and I'm not blustering here) this is the very first Swindell song I have liked even a little. Cole's still no crooner, but his plain-spoken voice lends this heartbreaker some gravity. Some will read the lyrics and say this is a wimpy song, but ultra vulnerable ballads like this are scattered through the careers of greats like George Strait, Vern Gosdin, and Willie Nelson. Not saying Cole should ever be mentioned in the same breath as those folks, but "Break Up in the End" is a step in the right direction.
B+

Ashley McBryde - A Little Dive Bar in Dahlonega
A song like this makes you think there's still a chance to turn country radio around. It takes a look back at the missteps that end up making us stronger. Fresh, hopeful, and upbeat with a hint of sadness. And it's country. Ashley's voice is strong and memorable, and with material like this, I can't wait to hear her upcoming debut album. (Side note: my honeymoon was in Dahlonega - beautiful town and surrounding area.)
A


3 Down

Jordan Davis - Singles You Up
More of this trend of melting pot folk/R&B/pop schlock - think Sam Hunt, but not so much talking. Who says "singles you up" anyway? Lame, boring, trend-chasing, and it's a hit, of course. Nice beard, broseph.
D

David Lee Murphy & Kenny Chesney - Everything's Gonna Be Alright
What a disappointment. David Lee Murphy had a nice, albeit brief, run of good tunes in the 90s and he's a solid songwriter. Kenny, while still Kenny, can surprise you every now and then with a great tune. This one's not. It may as well be sung by Devin Davis Jordan Walker Hunt.
D+

Bebe Rexha ft. Florida-Georgia Line - Meant to Be
Yeah well. What'd you expect? This is shit. Some claim it to be a good pop song, but it's grating as hell to me. And who cares anyway? If I come home to a pig in the back yard with my dogs, I wouldn't think "What an impressive pig - I bet it could win some state fairs." No, I think "Why the hell is there a swine in my yard?" It doesn't belong.
F


Nov 10, 2016

3 Up, 3 Down: November '16


Three Up



Miranda Lambert - Vice
While it's good to have Miranda back on the airwaves, it's even better that it's with such a cool and different-sounding song. There's so much atmosphere in Vice… it's comfortable and uneasy at the same time. That contrast fits the theme perfectly. It also explores modern sonic textures without straying from what contemporary mainstream country ought to sound like.
A



Eric Church w/Rhiannon Giddens - Kill a Word
The perfect song for this insane election season. It's a shame few will heed its message. The violent verbiage is a great angle for such timely and timeless ideals. I've seen a lot of chatter that this is one of Church's lesser singles, but some of these folks are the very ones who need to really listen to it. Sure, it could be a little more memorable in the hook department, but an overly catchy melody might make this more of a jingle than the maxim it should be.
A


Chris Janson - Holdin' Her
Chris blocked us on Twitter long ago, presumably for making so much fun of his co-write, "Truck Yeah." That song deserved to be unmercifully ripped. This one deserves to be a big hit. It's probably the most country sounding song on the charts right now. It's a real life love song with personal details and universal appeal. Chris sounds great on the tune as well. More of this please.
A


Three  Down



Dustin Lynch - Seein' Red
Dustin started out as one of the fairly neo-traditional artists we could potentially hang some hope on. No longer. This is a straight up pop song. It starts out with a canned riff, goes into some electronically adjusted vocals, and gets no better from there. It's disco for the twenty-teens. The only reason this couldn't get played on pop radio is Dustin's twang. That doesn't make it country. Is it a good song, genre aside? No. It's bro-country shined up for the modern urban cowboy set.
D-



Michael Ray - Think a Little Less
Exactly what it sounds like. Brainless smooth bro-country. "Get you outta this bar, out of that dress"… and people call Miranda Lambert a whore. Come on. This is by-the-numbers mainstream country for 2016. Easy going verse, semi-catchy but completely copied and pasted chorus, verse, chorus, guitar solo, talk-sing bridge, chorus, vomit. I'm tired of this garbage.
F+


Luke Bryan - Move
Utter shit. We've done enough memes and tomfoolery about this song to cover any words that could be said here. Let's hope this is bro-country's death wheeze.
F

Feb 17, 2016

3 Up 3 Down: February 2016


3 Up

Chris Stapleton - Nobody to Blame
It's a surprise to see this still climbing the charts, but an absolute blast and a shock to hear it come on country radio. It's like a guy showed up in boots to a black tie affair, but Garth it ain't. While it's far from the best song on Chris' highly awarded Traveller, it's a hell of a song, and a glimmer… no, it's a high beam on a moonless night.
A

Maren Morris - My Church
Some will focus on the name-dropping and hand clapping and not give this a fair shake, but it's a cool tune. Bluesy, stomping, and honest. Can't help but love the gospel flair in the chorus, tying the whole theme in perfectly. More like this, country radio! Less like "Dibs."
B+

Tim McGraw - Humble and Kind
Simple and affecting. Some may hear this as sappy and calculated, but I hear sincerity. And Tim doesn't have to put out stuff like this. He could still be chasing trends a'la' his misguided "Truck Yeah" era, but the fact that he's chosen to follow his own path and bring mature music to a sophomoric format is a credit to his standing as one of the few remaining artists with ties to the soul of real country music.
A

Bonus: Big & Rich ft. Tim McGraw - Lovin' Lately
A surprisingly catchy effort from a pair who's flown under the radar in recent years with middling songs nobody remembers 5 minutes after they end. "Lovin' Lately" is anthemic and ear-worm worthy, in a good way. The melody is the thing.
B

3 Down

Old Dominion - Snapback
Old Dominion is single-handedly keeping bro-country from truly breathing its last breath. This song has been the source of umpteen memes on Farce the Music and probably will spawn more. It's a straight up piece of crap. Slangy, cocky, sexually harassing. If Robin Thicke and Pitbull showed up on the remix, I would not be shocked in the least.
F

Cole Swindell - You Should Be Here
I applaud Cole for attempting to bring a bit more depth to country radio, but he should have tried harder. Or less hard, as the case may be. Based on real life or not, "You Should Be Here" sounds contrived and focus-group tested. "Bros Cry Too" would be a more apt title, as it drops all the tropes like drinking and hanging out …into a song about death. Maybe my cold black soul has just become too jaded, but an ASPCA commercial has an infinitely higher chance of dragging a tear out of my eye than this.
D+

Michael Ray - Real Men Love Jesus
Michael has a pretty nice voice, but I'm tired of listing songs and I'm tired of people telling what real men should do. I love Jesus, but a lot of people whose manhood you wouldn't dare question just think Jesus was a pretty cool guy There are ways to say this same thing without painting so broadly. Also, the song has little or nothing to do with the title itself. Jesus is just kinda shoe-horned in there with beer and dirt and barbed wire tattoos or whatever.  I'm all for Jesus songs being on country radio, but proclaim Him… live His Word loudly… just don't use Him as a selling point for a middling pop-country song.

C-

May 14, 2015

3 Up 3 Down: May '15

 
3 Up


Tim McGraw - Diamond Rings and Old Barstools
McGraw continues his hot streak of great country songs that are actually country with "Diamond Rings and Old Barstools." Whether it was the failure of his attempts at bro-relevancy a couple years back or an honest journey back to rootsy authentic (for this day) country that led him to this point, I don't care - the results are what matter, and this is a killer tune. A smoky atmosphere, throwback imagery, twang, great harmonies from Catherine Dunn, and a classic honky-tonk ballad sound blend this into a modern-day gem. Sure, Tim will have to throw some party songs or "I'm southern" anthems back into the mix at some point to keep his slot on radio, but for now, I'm enjoying the hell out of this era.
A-


Mickey Guyton - Better Than You Left Me
A bright new light on the scene, Guyton has been compared to Carrie Underwood's  big-voiced pop-country stylings. It's a fair reference, but Mickey may be more appealing to those like me who prefer traditional leanings, because she's got a bit more grit in her throat. She must also have some strong gumption, leading off with a bittersweet single that never mentions going out at night nor loving dude-bros nor wishing to judge her worth on the whims of a man. It's a strong, uplifting song that though pop-country, doles out just as much of the latter part of that genre name as the former. I'm excited to see where she goes from here.
B+


Little Big Town - Girl Crush
Even if I didn't like this song, I'd probably force myself to like it just for the effect it has/had on people who: 1)don't listen to lyrics 2)don't understand lyrics 3)just want an excuse to type the word "lezbo" on Twitter or Facebook. "Girl Crush" is just the sort of smartly-written, organic-sounding song radio needs in an era of slackjaws singing the virtues of mud on $50k trucks and banging country girls by a bonfire. The vocal performance is stunning, even more so live. It's a bit too safe-sounding for me to give it a higher grade, but it's a solid tune, that caught on by hook and crook and goaded controversy. Not that it doesn't deserve to be a hit - it just sucks that there has to be viral chicanery involved to get an intelligent song noticed these days.
B

3 Down


Michael Ray - Kiss You in the Morning
Man-meat with permanent five o'clock shadow and a good voice sings female-friendly song about night and kissing and love and partying. Lather, rinse, repeat. Ray actually has a better voice than many of his cohorts, and if applied to better… okay, if applied to way better material, he might be someone to keep an eye on. For now, the only eyes (and ears) on him are from lustful ladies (and a few guys) and people who don't care what's on the radio as long as it's not challenging or twangy. This isn't.
D+



Florida-Georgia Line - Sippin' On Fire
The fact that this song is far better than their previous single is misleading. "Sun Daze" was one of the most excremental country singles ever from one of the worst radio artists to ever exist, so 'far better' is no compliment. "Sippin' on Fire" is a down-tuned, hookless mess that exists only to give Brian and Tyler a reason to sip their beloved Fireball on stage during a song. It features auto-tune, lyrics borrowed from their own repertoire, convincing a girl to cheat on her boyfriend, and not a shred of anything you might call "art."
F


Cole Swindell - Let Me See Ya Girl
Cole took a step toward adequacy with his previous single, "Ain't Worth the Whiskey," earning at least 'guilty pleasure' status from many who'd shunned his earlier radio tunes. While I didn't care for it, it was at least a hint that there might be a little more to Swindell than trucks and being dopey. Alas. Bro country is dead; long live bro country. "Let Me See Ya Girl" is so filled with cliche and signifiers from the "sup dawg?" crowd that it could pass as one of FTM's satire lyrics. It will have all the 16-22 year old females who frequently exclaim "I'm sooo drunk"  rocking them cutoffs with their feet on the dash for their boyfriends all summer with the windows down and Hank cranked and blah blah tailgate, shake it, drink, taste of her lips, blah blah. Crap.
D-

Dec 9, 2014

Three Up Three Down: December '14



3 Up


Maddie & Tae - Girl in a Country Song
This is both a good song and a culturally significant song. Rarely do those two things equal a popular song, but here we are with it sitting at #1 on the Mediabase charts and others. Are listeners grinning a little and moving on to the next booty-on-a-tailgate song or nodding their heads in acknowledgement? It's hard to know right now, but I suppose we'll see in time. The fact that these thoughts about sexism and clichés in country music are now out there beyond FTM's constant complaining and the occasional newspaper website think-piece is a good start. The fact that Maddie and Tae have proven on their recent EP to be more than the vehicle for what some surely consider a novelty song is even more favorable. Fingers crossed.
B+


Eric Church - Talladega
Eric Church does nostalgia better than anyone on the charts right now because he starts with the personal and makes it sound universal, while everyone else seems to be taking the opposite approach. "Talledega" sounds like a big ol' yeehaw, NASCAR loving anthem if you just pay attention to the high points, but it's really a small story wrapped in a big idea. The chorus might call on everybody to sing along and it may beg for sponsorship opportunities, but the verses actually make you miss the fun and friends from that trip you may or may not have ever even made to watch cars turn left. It's wistful and epic and everything this kind of song should be.
A


Jake Owen - What We Ain't Got
Co-written by Travis Meadows and Travis Jerome Goff, "What We Ain't Got" is a powerful ballad about never being satisfied with with one's situation, possessions and relationships. It's a simple longing that falls into several categories of the Christian concept of sin, but one that no one is immune to. Jake Owen spoke of this song as a harbinger of change and he wasn't over-hyping it. The song opens Owen's field of view and enlivens the possibilities for his future work being more varied and deeper than flip-flops, summer flings and tan lines. It's also great for country radio, since its frequent play forces dunderhead bro's to listen to something with actual artistic merit and positive moral implications. Jake's vocal talent and commercial momentum combined with a truly great song make this a release of considerable importance.
A+


3 Down


Parmalee - Close Your Eyes
They rhyme "hotter" with "water." That's enough to disqualify this song from being anything I'd ever listen to on purpose, but worse than that, "Close Your Eyes" is a color-by-numbers. bro-country lite song created specifically to be airplay filler. And now, it's top 10 airplay filler. The emperor has no clothes and nobody gives a shit. Sing familiar words with a familiar melody that fits into the current sonic model and don't make anybody think negative thoughts and you've got a hit. Well done, Parmalee, former rock band who couldn't hack it without switching genres to take advantage of country radio's doldrums. Take a bow.
D


Scotty McCreery - Feelin' It
I've said it before: Scotty McCreery has a fantastic country voice. Much like his vocal doppelganger, Josh Turner, he's struggled to find material that both fits his rich delivery and the whims of commercial country music. He's done it with this track - if by "done it" I mean, focused entirely on the whims portion of that last sentence. Not that he sounds bad singing this craptacular song, it's just that any minuscule thread of artistic quality is foregone for a steady run up Bob Kingsley's countdown. How bad is this song? Well, Ray-Bans are rayin' and cut-offs are cuttin', whatever those two statements mean. The build to the chorus is basically saying "here, I will continue to sing you this song about how we are enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." The chorus is basically saying "We are greatly enjoying chilling in the sun and drinking beverages." Then he rhymes "hotter" with "water" and you already know my disdain for that sort of thing. This song can take its "glossin' lip gloss" and kiss my ass; it's completely embarrassing and pathetic. Scotty, if you're going to use your gift to unleash tripe like this upon the world, I'd rather you go back and give minor league baseball a shot. "Screwball's screwin', catcher's chewin'…."
D-


Florida-Georgia Line - Sun Daze
I'm sure I've already said enough about this one with memes and whatnot, but hey, it still sucks. While I did actually like "Dirt," I'm starting to think these guys are just lowering the bar with nearly every single to make their mediocre work sound like classics. "Sun Daze" is stupid, derivative, artless, and is only catchy in the way that kidnapping sometimes brings about Stockholm syndrome. FGL's previous low-water mark was "This is How We Roll." That song was at least interesting with its obvious critic trolling slang and attitude. This song is just spectacularly awful and further proof that you can never underestimate the taste of the American public.
F

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