Showing posts with label FGL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FGL. Show all posts

Mar 27, 2018

Country TwitterFAIL: March '18

*Lots of vulgar language and offensiveness below*

(to be fair, this one was probably trolling)

Mar 15, 2018

3 Up 3 Down: March 2018

3 Up

Luke Bryan - Most People Are Good
What's this? Luke Bryan spoken of in a positive manner? Have you finally lost it, Trailer? Nope - a good song's a good song. This tune is simple, quaint even. It has timely and timeless lyrics. Luke does a fine job with it. On top of that, it's a country song. I know he's still got to pump out the mindless bangers to keep the arenas full, but let's at least hope he's beginning a transition to more mature fare like this winner.

Cole Swindell - Break Up in the End
What's this? Cole Swindell spoken of in a positive manner? etc. 
This one is actually more of a surprise to me, since (and I'm not blustering here) this is the very first Swindell song I have liked even a little. Cole's still no crooner, but his plain-spoken voice lends this heartbreaker some gravity. Some will read the lyrics and say this is a wimpy song, but ultra vulnerable ballads like this are scattered through the careers of greats like George Strait, Vern Gosdin, and Willie Nelson. Not saying Cole should ever be mentioned in the same breath as those folks, but "Break Up in the End" is a step in the right direction.

Ashley McBryde - A Little Dive Bar in Dahlonega
A song like this makes you think there's still a chance to turn country radio around. It takes a look back at the missteps that end up making us stronger. Fresh, hopeful, and upbeat with a hint of sadness. And it's country. Ashley's voice is strong and memorable, and with material like this, I can't wait to hear her upcoming debut album. (Side note: my honeymoon was in Dahlonega - beautiful town and surrounding area.)

3 Down

Jordan Davis - Singles You Up
More of this trend of melting pot folk/R&B/pop schlock - think Sam Hunt, but not so much talking. Who says "singles you up" anyway? Lame, boring, trend-chasing, and it's a hit, of course. Nice beard, broseph.

David Lee Murphy & Kenny Chesney - Everything's Gonna Be Alright
What a disappointment. David Lee Murphy had a nice, albeit brief, run of good tunes in the 90s and he's a solid songwriter. Kenny, while still Kenny, can surprise you every now and then with a great tune. This one's not. It may as well be sung by Devin Davis Jordan Walker Hunt.

Bebe Rexha ft. Florida-Georgia Line - Meant to Be
Yeah well. What'd you expect? This is shit. Some claim it to be a good pop song, but it's grating as hell to me. And who cares anyway? If I come home to a pig in the back yard with my dogs, I wouldn't think "What an impressive pig - I bet it could win some state fairs." No, I think "Why the hell is there a swine in my yard?" It doesn't belong.

Dec 22, 2017

The 10 Worst Country Songs of 2017

We've spent all of 2017 making fun of these and other songs, so there's little else 
to do but rank the worst. No need for further criticisms or a thesaurus full of 
disgusting descriptive terms. Nothing fancy. Okay, a little fancy...

Dec 21, 2017

"Stick to Music" Guy to Give Mainstream Country Another Shot

32-year-old music fan Jason Varton of Springfield, Ill reports that he plans to give mainstream country another shot. After years of trashing popular artists like Florida-Georgia Line in lieu of Americana music, the growing outspoken political nature of the latter has begun to push him away. 

"Man, I can't stand Luke Bryan but at least he doesn't constantly spout off about health care on Twitter or write songs trying to make me feel bad," said Varton. "Maybe I need to give that guy another shot." 

"I mean, his jeans are stupid and why the hell is he booty dancing at a country show?" he continued. "But he never seems to have a solitary opinion about tax cuts, or net neutrality, or social justice, or anything really ...and that's what I'm looking for in a musician."

Varton, a former fan of artists like Jason Isbell, Margo Price, and Sturgill Simpson has grown increasingly uncomfortable with those singers' recent public stances in their music and on social media about issues facing American citizens. He wishes they'd focus on putting out music that speaks from their hearts, but in no way explores anything besides love, farming, loneliness, drinking, or other rural pursuits. 

"Sam Hunt, what the f**k is he even doing? I mean, is it rap, is he trying to be Jason Mraz? I don't even know, but I do know that he wouldn't put out a song about income inequality!" smiled Varton. 

At press time, Jason planned to listen to mainstream country radio 10 minutes a day to build up his resistance and train his gag reflex.

Aug 21, 2017

Top 15 Things Rarer Than a Solar Eclipse in Nashville

 Top 15 Things Rarer Than a Solar Eclipse in Nashville

by Jeremy Harris and Trailer

15. An open mic night without "Wagon Wheel"

14. Shooter Jennings walking down Music Row in shorts

13. A Stanley Cup hockey championship

12. A country exec with any 2 of the following: brains, balls, integrity

11. Thomas Rhett singing in key

10. A Kane Brown fan who won't have retinal damage after today

9. 20 square feet of sidewalk without a douchebag on it

8. A local eating at FGL house

7. Colt Ford and Gary Levox eating salads

6. A sober bridesmaid

5. A songwriting session with less than 5 people in attendance

4. Luke Bryan shopping for relaxed fit jeans

3. An irreplaceable landmark some developer wouldn't happily bulldoze 
to put up another apartment building …or carwash

2. A woman on the country charts who isn't counted against the quota

1. A departed country legend not rolling in his/her grave daily


Related Posts with Thumbnails