Showing posts with label Jeremy Harris. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeremy Harris. Show all posts

Nov 15, 2023

Better Names for the Jason Aldean / Kid Rock Tour

 By Trailer and Jeremy

MABA: Make America Bro Again


Wallet Chains & Undie Stains

Rock the Smells

Make the N-Word Said Again Tour

The Junk Drawer Tour

Try That in a Stadium

Rock the Country Grammar

Divorced Dads Across America


We Rocking With Nelly Cuz He Rocking With Us



Gathering of the Parolees


2013 Foreverfest

Oh No Miranda What Is You Doin’?

Gathering of the Imbeciles

roQ the Country


Tribal Tats & Flatbill Caps

Lot Lizardpalooza

American Fatass Tour

Bros, Hoes, and Squaretoes

*Douchella already exists

Aug 16, 2023

Fudge Rounds

 By Jeremy Harris - direct all anger at him please

Apr 26, 2023

Top 10 Questions People Ask Morgan Wallen Fans

By Jeremy and Trailer

10. Do you know why I pulled you over?

9. Is it necessary to duct tape over the Bud Light logo on the can?

8. Can you explain this 6 year employment gap?

7. Sir, did you pay for that?

6. I know you spent $1,200 on Wallen tickets but could you please pay your rent this week?

5. Could you please leave, ma'am? This is a library… with books. Morgan went to The Library, a bar.

4. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you?

3. How do you feel about Morgan Wallen’s best song being written by a liberal?

2. Do you know about… other music?

1. Could you go pee in this cup?

Dec 21, 2022

Top 10 Things Morgan Wallen Fans Want for Christmas

 By Jeremy Harris and Trailer


10. Dismissal of their public intoxication charges

9. Joy (Joy is their third cousin, not “a feeling of great happiness”)

8. Mullet grooming kit

7. A “white” Christmas

6. Some extra Sudafed for their “sinus” issues

5. To graduate with the rest of their buddies on the bass fishing team

4. LED lights for the bumper, the mirrors, the roof, the wheel wells, everywhere… so the front of their truck can burn with the light of a million suns and blind oncoming traffic three counties away

3. For the front-squatted truck to become the new fad

2. Jason Isbell to write another heartfelt song they’ll never hear him sing live

1. A black friend, so they can say they have a black friend

Oct 30, 2020

Top 10 Things More Likely Than Sam Hunt Releasing a Real Country Song

Remember that time Sam Hunt was gonna release a country song, but then he just released his usual kind of song with a sample of a real country song mixed in? Here are ten things more likely than Sam Hunt releasing a song we all agree is really country.

10. Your aunt actually wins that RV she keeps reposting about on Facebook.

9. Justin Moore takes a leak without standing on a potty stool.

8. A Nigerian prince sends you 3.2 million dollars.

7. The Simpsons stop predicting things correctly.

6. Ifs and buts become candy and nuts.

5. Gary Levox, hardcore porn star. 

4. Donald Trump releases his tax returns. Joe Biden admits he’s uncertain which city he’s in.

3. Kane Brown successfully completes a corn maze.

2. Hank Sr stops rolling in his grave.

1. New York Jets: Super Bowl LV champs.


By Trailer & Jeremy Harris

Dec 20, 2019

Little Known Facts: Christmas 2019 Edition

Sitting on Charlie Daniels’ lap and telling him what 
you want for Christmas really pisses him off. 

According to Santa’s Naughty and Nice List, Jason “Rowdy” Cope 
of The Steel Woods isn’t rowdy at all.

Shooter Jennings announced a spring tour and is looking forward to hitting the 
road to unwind after another winter of making toys for good boys and girls.

Blind Item: 30-50 feral hogs stole a popular Americana band’s van 
and gear trailer in certain southeastern Texas city.

Freezing temps across the country have caused Luke Bryan’s pants to fit better, 
but he is now battling chapped lips.

Mitchell Tenpenny is the first artist in a new country sub-genre: Incel Country.

With 2019 coming to an end I decided to check in with Colt Ford and 
his resolution to no longer suck. Failing for 50 weeks and counting.

The real issue is that there isn’t a war on “The Christmas Shoes.”

Kane Brown is beter then you’re favorite country sinjer. 
~this fact guest-written by a Kane Brown fan.

Florida Georgia Line’s FGL House features a reverse toy drive where employees 
go to hospitals and orphanages in Nashville and take take toys from the children.

Thomas Rhett cheerful story blah blah good news happy blah.

Starbucks compensated Jason Isbell for not changing his twitter name to IsBELLS this year by sending him a free nonfat, vanilla, soy latte with espresso shot once a week until March. (<—This fact requires too much referential minutia for the average person to get it, but I left it in so you can make fun of Jeremy for writing it. ~Trailer)

I went to see Luke Combs the other day. He said I needed wipers and a cabin air filter.

Gary Levox had a recent trip to the dentist because he confused 
the coal in his stocking for chocolate covered cherries.

Taylor Swift researched her role for Cats by being an actual crazy cat lady.

Most of these by Jeremy Harris - a few by Trailer

May 23, 2019

Little Known Facts Makes Its Glorious Return

Insane Clown Posse plans on releasing their entire catalog as country albums in 2019. There will be no changes or remixing done.

Shooter Jennings recently hit the big 4-0 which is a big deal since he was only 3 feet, 11 inches earlier in the year.

Due to him neglecting it while spending so much time on the road and at the beach, Kenny Chesney’s tractor is no longer considered sexy.

Zac Brown’s new rap song has reportedly coaxed hours of valuable information out of terrorists at Guantanamo Bay.

78% of all blacked out names in the Mueller Report were Steve Earle.

Famed Bigfoot hunter Eric Tipton has decided there isn’t enough challenge in looking for the elusive creature and now devotes his time to searching for women on the country music charts.

Jordan Davis’ beard is kind of like Samson’s hair in that it is hair on the head of someone who doesn’t sing country music. 

John Rich was one of the crowd favorites at a recent Nashville songwriting expo after he was a last minute substitution for the scheduled janitor that called in sick. 

Americana is sometimes called “country music for liberals” because much like liberalism, it proclaims gender equality but is mostly run by old white dudes. 

Constantly posting on Facebook about his weight loss vitamins is why John Anderson is the black sheep of his family. 

As a child, Russell Dickerson once got his head stuck in a toilet paper roll. 

I have never heard “Old Town Road” and will remove the genitalia of the first person that changes that.

Kane Brown coming on country radio is the equivalent of the auto flushing toilet pulling the paper seat cover down the drain before you are seated.


Most of these are by Jeremy Harris; a few are by Trailer.

Sep 14, 2018

Little Known Facts: September '18


By Jeremy Harris and Trailer

Before Cody Jinks was a country singer, he was in a metal band. Before he was in a metal band, he was the choreographer for Color Me Badd

Charlie Daniels has voted Green Party in the last 6 Presidential elections; He just pretends to be a hardcore Republican so as not to alienate his fans

Carrie Underwood became a vegetarian after seeing Blake Shelton eat a pork chop sandwich one time

Tyler Childers' carpet doesn't match the drapes

When Shooter Jennings gets angry, Misty has to tranquilize him lest he stomp his foot deeply into the floor and tear himself in two

Lin-Manuel Miranda is adapting a rap version of Pure Country for Broadway

Listening to Old Dominion’s “Written In The Sand” can be used against you in a court of law if you are accused of sexual misconduct

CMT will broadcast the Americana Honors and Awards November  28th, at 3:00 a.m. between a rerun of Full House and a Flex Seal infomercial 

Kelsea Ballerini gets so mad about Farce the Music's constant Barbie doll jokes that she kicks her little plastic dog across the glittery pink living room

There’s a 99% chance Lucero is better than your favorite band

Shooter Jennings came up with the idea for D.R.U.N.K. When he had trouble finding words to rhyme with Z.I.M.A.

Kane Brown fans actually have pretty low levels of meth addiction because "you never get high on your own supply"

Y’all should've been more specific when asking for more women on country radio because now we have Lindsay Ell

Tyler Childers is so good that Wheeler Walker Jr can introduce him and keep it PG

You can judge any album by how many tracks are “featuring” another artist

Turning on country radio and hearing Sam Hunt gives me the same feeling that Gary Levox gets when he takes a bite of ice cream and realizes it’s sugar free

Eric Church is on his way to your house right now to take all your AR-15's, teach your children about the 27 genders, and sign your wife up for the Communist party


Aug 23, 2018

Lucero: Our Dream Set Lists

~intro by Robert Dean

If there’s a band that deserves to finally break through to the next level, it’s Lucero. They’re the humble road dogs who never quit, and continually deliver the goods. And with Among The Ghosts debuting at #2 on the Billboard Independent Albums chart and the band celebrating 20 years of existence, we wanted to take a minute and gush with pride and love for the best dudes from Memphis. It's about damn time for a Grammy nod for these boys.

Considering a few of us (Trailer, Chad, & Robert) have seen the band live more than they can count on two hands, we wanted to put together dream set lists. Just for funsies, because you know, NERD ALERT. 

The only rules are: 15 songs and an encore (although Lucero routinely plays 20+ songs per show).

Robert Dean’s dream Lucero set: 

Everything Has Changed 
I Can Get us Out of Here 
Among The Ghosts 
Baby Don’t You Want Me
Nights Like These
Drink Till We’re Gone 
Sweet Little Thing 
Hey Darlin’ Do You Gamble 
Texas & Tennessee 
On My Way Downtown
For The Lonely Ones
Raisin’ Hell 
Hate & Jealousy

Tears Don’t Matter Much  


Can’t You Hear Them Howl
For the Lonely Ones
The Man I Was
To My Dearest Wife
Darby’s Song

Went Looking For Warren Zevon’s Los Angeles 
Among the Ghosts
Woke Up In New Orleans
Hey Darlin’ Do You Gamble?
They Called Her Killer
All Sewn Up
Texas & Tennessee
Nights Like These
Goodbye Again
All These Love Songs

The Closer You Get (Alabama cover)
Tears Don’t Matter Much


The Mountain

Among the Ghosts
All These Love Songs
Chain Link Fence
Tonight Ain't Gonna Be Good
My Best Girl
Texas & Tennessee
Sweet Little Thing
That Much Further West
Nights Like These
What Else Would You Have Me Be?
Raising Hell
Noon As Dark As Midnight
It Gets the Worst at Night
Kiss the Bottle

Tears Don't Matter Much


Downtown (Intro)
On My Way Downtown
Like Lightning
Last Night in Town
The War
She's Just That Kind of Girl
I Can Get Us Out of Here Tonight

Sweet Little Thing
Darby's Song
Johnny Davis
The Devil and Maggie Chascarillo
Can't Feel a Thing
What Are You Willing to Lose?
Sounds of the City

The Mountain


For the Lonely Ones
Last Night in Town
Little Silver Heart
To My Dearest Wife
Among the Ghosts
Raising Hell
That Much Further West
Sweet Little Thing
Bottom of the Sea
Sixes & Sevens
All Sewn Up
Texas & Tennessee
Nights Like These
Chain Link Fence
Tears Don't Matter Much

San Francisco
Drink Till We're Gone


Can't You Hear Them Howl
I don't think there would be a better damn way to begin a Lucero show than this opening riff. 
Cover Me
Little Silver Heart
Nights Like These
Watch It Burn
What Else Would You Have Me Be?
I feel confident a show that began with these first 6 songs would absolutely create a frenzied-as-hell crowd.  And, I am all for it.  Let's burn this whole thing down!
Sweet Little Thing
Last Night In Town
This song was played at the first Lucero show (I think) I went to with my Dad and brother back in my home state of TN and it meant a lot at the time to me since I was leaving to come back up to D.C.  I wish it was played every single show I attended.  
Tears Don't Matter Much
Hate & Jealousy
I haven't seen this song or Sing Me No Hymns live before and I have to believe that these would absolutely be scorchers live.
Sing Me No Hymns
That Much Further West
To My Dearest Wife

On My Way Downtown
Sound Of The City

The War->Raising Hell
I know I'm cheating here, but I think this would be a killer way to do an encore.  You can't have a Lucero show without The War and Raising Hell is a life affirming way to end my night of Lucero's perfect set list.

May 9, 2018

Little Known Facts: May '18

In his teens, Jason Aldean was dropped by a vocal trainer who told Aldean's parents it was like trying to teach a legless man soccer

The greatest Lynyrd Skynyrd cover band is Lynyrd Skynyrd

The average Rascal Flatts fan is average

Evidently Bebe Rexha is not the subject of an early 90’s animated movie written by Reginald Hudlin

The bootleg Hank Jr. shirts on Facebook are sold by Hank Jr.

Cody Jinks, Whitey Morgan, and Ward Davis tour together so often so they can get the group discount at the beard groomer

Reba McEntire is the first Colonel Sanders to not have a cock, but only because she is allergic to feathers

Turns out, Blake Shelton is the jackass

The previous country fact was brought to you by The NFL Keurig Starbucks Yeti  Nordstrom Netflix Oreos Dick's Pepsi TJ Maxx  Lou's AR-15 n' Whiskey Shack

I was going to write the 500th fact that points out Shooter Jennings is short but I wanted to bring Farce the Music to new heights

Sam Hunt recently announced a winter 2018 Mexican tour starting on November 1, 2018

Blind item: Texas singer who recently signed with a major label uses full body pillows for his head

Early reports are that Chris Stapleton is the favorite to be named NBA Rookie of the Year

Support of a border wall by Congress has reached an all time high as long as it can be completed by November 2, 2018


Most of these by Jeremy Harris, but especially *that* one; you know the one. 


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