Jun 15, 2022
Untrue Facts: Brad Paisley, Nelly, Willie Nelson, Carrie Underwood
Feb 23, 2022
Know Your Music Sub-Genres
Jan 21, 2022
When We Were Bros
You may have heard about the When We Were Young festival announcement featuring nostalgic bands for people of a certain age (Millennials). Well, what if there was a bro-country equivalent?
Jan 6, 2022
Least Anticipated Albums of 2022
Sep 9, 2021
Steve Martin Country Reaction Gifs
Jul 13, 2021
Jun 17, 2021
Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #51
Mar 16, 2021
Stolen Memes: Conway, Kane Brown, Loretta, Billy Strings
Feb 22, 2021
Monday Morning Memes: FGL, George Strait, Kane Brown
Nov 6, 2020
Report: Nelly Has Blackmail Photos of Florida-Georgia Line
Nelly, born Cornell Iral Haynes Jr., was last on top of the charts in the early to mid 2000s, but has seen a resurgence in his career thanks to country music, and in particular Florida-Georgia Line. Their first collaboration was a remix of the smash “Cruise” which went on to become one of the biggest hits of the decade in any genre.
After than, many expected for Nelly to fade into the background and go back to doing club shows and the occasional rap album, but that has not been the case. FGL has collaborated with Nelly and brought him on several big tours long after the hype for “Cruise” died down, and it left many scratching their heads. When Nelly put out his own recent song featuring FGL, we had to do a little digging.
According to our inside source (nicknamed “Benny”) Nelly, performer of such hits as “Pimp Juice” and “Hot in Herre,” has possession of several photographs that keep Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley at his beck and call. He’s made such requests of them as songwriting sessions, car detailings, tour slots, and their Netflix passwords.
“They are willing to do just about anything to keep Nelly from publishing those pics,” said Benny. “I honestly don’t know what the photos are of, but it must be some seedy sh*t!” Benny also said that Nelly carries the photos with him in a Halliburton briefcase attached to his wrist with handcuffs, and is never more than 5 feet from the case.
“Not to demean him because he’s had a good career, but that briefcase keeps him in steak and lobster and Bugattis,” laughed Benny. “And he’s also just showing up at their houses at all hours of the night to just hang out… their wives aren’t crazy about it but the guys just tell them they’re working on music, but they’re just shooting pool in the treehouse.”
When asked to guess what’s in the photos, Benny ventures a few possibilities. “I doubt it’s anything sexual, those dudes never had any game until they were rich and then they got married immediately, so it’s probably pics of them at a real country concert, enjoying themselves. That would devastate Florida-Georgia Line fans!”
At press time, Nelly was taking a shower with one arm through the curtain.