Showing posts with label Niko Moon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Niko Moon. Show all posts

Aug 11, 2022

Number of Co-Writers to Crappiness of Song Ratio 2

 Did this back in 2013. Not an exact science and honestly just cherry picking for clickbait ...many of the best songs were written by 2-3 people, but who cares when you're deriding committee written dreck?



Mar 17, 2022

Top 10 Traits for Getting a Country Record Deal 2022


10. A built in audience of TikTok fans you duped into thinking you were talented


9. A gym membership


8. Generic, character-free male country voice


7. Willingness to be an opening act forever (females)


6. Willingness to be a headliner with your own bus right out of the gate (males)


5. Ability to politely say nothing with many words, when asked about a serious topic in an interview


4. Strong knowledge of hair care techniques, including advanced shampoo and condition, heat protection, volumizer, mousse, and shine serum


3. Have large or new family and only talk about them ever and nothing else


2. Musical inspirations must include at least 3 of the following: 21 Pilots, John Mayer, Lil Wayne, Drake, Ariana Grande, Sugar Ray, Kanye, Keith Urban, Imagine Dragons, Taylor Swift (pop era).


1. Be boring as dry dog shit


Dec 8, 2021

What Your Favorite 2021 Album Says About You


satire obviously
-----------------------


Florida-Georgia Line - Life Rolls On
Your life peaked in 2014. You cried when you thought FGL was breaking up. You are unable to parallel park without the assistance of your backup camera. Your daughter will have to spell her name aloud seven-thousand times in her life.




Clay Walker - Texas to Tennessee

You’re a huge 90s country fan with kids and a busy life, and you didn’t actually listen to this album. You just assumed it was good because Clay Walker.




Strand of Oaks - In Heaven

You haven’t been out of the house in 19 months except to get packages from Smoke Cartel off the porch. You’re apolitical except about weed.



Eric Church - &
You’re in the Eric Church fan club. You’ve seen Eric 37 times. You named your son Kenneth (Eric’s first name). You need another hobby.



Sturgill Simpson - The Ballad of Dood & Juanita

You are a sports writer or a Sturgill Stan. You spent a great deal of time making fun of Hillbilly Elegy on Twitter this year. 



Niko Moon - Good Time

You can only listen to happy music because even a Hallmark movie is too emotionally roiling for you. You have argued passionately online about how Niko is in fact a country singer, and then you forgot he existed a month later when his second single tanked, and you only remember him now because he was number one on your Spotify Wrapped. 



Kacey Musgraves - star-crossed

You are whatever hipsters are called in 2021. You raged when this album was left out of the Grammy country nominations, but only because everyone else in your social bubble was doing the same. You have never heard Same Trailer, Different Park.

Jul 15, 2021

The Wire Country Reaction Gifs

When you find out Townes Van Zandt didn't completely understand "Pancho and Lefty" either

You really wearing that sweater to the Cody Jinks concert?

Dude, Kane Brown rescheduled his show! You going?

You like Luke Combs?

The view from the curb of my former passenger who switched the radio to the mainstream country station

You like Jon Pardi but you won't go see his concert because Niko Moon is the opener?

You like that new Flatland Cavalry album?

When I listen to Morgan Wallen

"Be honest. What do you think of this Dan + Shay song?"

Jun 25, 2021

Do's and Don'ts For Going Back to See Live Music

With the pandemic waning (we hope), live music is firing back up. It's been a while since some of you have been in public, much less with a bunch of other people enjoying music. Here are some helpful tips to remind you how to behave at concerts.



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