Showing posts with label Clay Walker. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Clay Walker. Show all posts
Mar 31, 2022
Dec 8, 2021
What Your Favorite 2021 Album Says About You
satire obviously
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Florida-Georgia Line - Life Rolls On
Your life peaked in 2014. You cried when you thought FGL was breaking up. You are unable to parallel park without the assistance of your backup camera. Your daughter will have to spell her name aloud seven-thousand times in her life.
Clay Walker - Texas to Tennessee
You’re a huge 90s country fan with kids and a busy life, and you didn’t actually listen to this album. You just assumed it was good because Clay Walker.
Strand of Oaks - In Heaven
You haven’t been out of the house in 19 months except to get packages from Smoke Cartel off the porch. You’re apolitical except about weed.
Eric Church - &
You’re in the Eric Church fan club. You’ve seen Eric 37 times. You named your son Kenneth (Eric’s first name). You need another hobby.
Sturgill Simpson - The Ballad of Dood & Juanita
You are a sports writer or a Sturgill Stan. You spent a great deal of time making fun of Hillbilly Elegy on Twitter this year.
Niko Moon - Good Time
You can only listen to happy music because even a Hallmark movie is too emotionally roiling for you. You have argued passionately online about how Niko is in fact a country singer, and then you forgot he existed a month later when his second single tanked, and you only remember him now because he was number one on your Spotify Wrapped.
Kacey Musgraves - star-crossed
You are whatever hipsters are called in 2021. You raged when this album was left out of the Grammy country nominations, but only because everyone else in your social bubble was doing the same. You have never heard Same Trailer, Different Park.
Apr 29, 2020
Jan 25, 2019
Happy Gilmore Country Reaction Gifs
When an old man says the country music of his day was boring and today's is fun and catchy
When your friend who likes Dustin Lynch asks you for a beer
What mainstream country execs think of all of us who complain about the crap they release
Still more country than Mitchell Tenpenny
♫ ♬ Daddy's hands... were hard as steel when I'd done wrong ♫ ♬
When somebody at the game insults your Willie Nelson t-shirt
Are you more a fan of Restless Heart or Exile?
When you hear Clay Walker's new album
Jan 23, 2019
Jan 22, 2019
Jul 7, 2010
She Won't Be Homely Long (Parody Lyric)
She Won't Be Homely Long
(Parody of Clay Walker's "She Won't Be Lonely Long")
Somethin bout the way I'm drinkin' this Pabst a little faster
Covers up her flaws and wrinkles, like some magic plaster
Somethin bout the way she’s droolin' and ain't got no bra on
If she’s homely now she won’t be homely long
Heaven help me when I sober up
But it's too late, so barkeep fill my cup
My blood alcohol level says she won't leave here alone
If she’s homely now, she won’t be homely long
Somethin bout the way her tush is shrinking by the beer
Lets me know my sight is cloudin' while my intentions clear
Right now she looks like a Rottweiler just gnawing on a bone
If she’s homely now, she won’t be homely long
Heaven help me come the morning sun
But I won't regret it till this thing is done
My slurrin' and my flirtin' says I won't leave here alone
If she’s homely now, she won’t be homely long
If I had a woman like that
Man I’d blind myself
Oh, but tonight
I'm under her spell
I'm so glad that all my friends have headed home
So no one will ever know
Heaven help me when I sober up
But it's too late, so barkeep fill my cup
My blood alcohol level says she won't leave here alone
If she’s homely now, she won’t be homely long
If she’s homely now, she won’t be homely long
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