9. Business in front, party in the back
7. Saying that word around their friends and cutting their eyes at the mixed race guy to see if he’s mad
5. Calling people who don’t like Morgan’s music libtards
3. Hunting out of season
9. Business in front, party in the back
7. Saying that word around their friends and cutting their eyes at the mixed race guy to see if he’s mad
5. Calling people who don’t like Morgan’s music libtards
3. Hunting out of season
Bearded poser Louis Reynolds has a decision to make. The burgeoning Americana and/or folk and/or pop-country songwriter is weighing the positives and negatives of cities to move to and genres to shoehorn himself into.
While skilled at writing in none of his options, Reynolds possesses a slightly above average voice and, most importantly, a spectacular beard. The 6’2” former college badminton star, after finding no path to pursuing the sport professionally, picked up an acoustic guitar and learned Snow Patrol’s “Chasing Cars” and was smitten.
Bankrolled by his parents’ eight figure net worth, Reynolds began formulating his plan to become an artist a star in whatever style of music would have him.
“I’ll only have to adapt my look to fit in, err, I mean look the part of either a country singer or an Americana singer. You know, either go sleek and stylish with the beard, or look like I just came down out of the mountains with half an elk on my back.” laughed Reynolds. “Pretty much the same for my fashion choices.”
When asked if he was studying the different styles of music to see where his writing style most organically fit, Reynolds answered “Let’s see. Would I rather rub elbows with Jordan Davis and Sam Hunt, or Cody Jinks and Tyler Childers? Makes you think, y’know.”
“Oh yeah, writing,” he continued. “Either write about trucks used for fun or trucks used for work; no big deal. And the women are either wearing shorts and have their feet on the dash or are sad and working in a Tulsa cafe. It’s pretty simple stuff.”
At press time, Louis Reynolds was trying on stupid hats and checking horribly overpriced apartment listings in trendy parts of Austin and Nashville.
YouTube country sensation Dexter Youngblood keeps hitting a glass ceiling. According to the singer of “My Big Ol’ Truck,” country radio refuses to play the song, which has amassed 1.3 million plays on the video site. “I know it seems hypocritical to seek fortune for my hard work, but capitalism is compulsory at this point in history in America, so why not attempt to spread my message?” asked the Oregon native.
The song, a modern sounding pop-country anthem complete with snap beats and talk-singing, promotes a community based enjoyment of his ’22 Ford F-150 Lightning for partying, trips to ‘parades,’ and helping out ‘people like us.’ While innocent on the surface, there are mentions of the color red, stars, and hammers that let you know Youngblood is adept at symbolism.
“Frankly, it’s a non-starter.” said industry insider Jova Marks. “While the song is innocuous enough and it bangs and slaps and whatnot, mainstream country now is as much based on image and personality, so a little digging by country fans who are predominantly conservative, would end Youngblood’s career before it gets off the ground.”
A press release sent to Farce the Music from Youngblood’s PR stated that his debut album For the Common Good is set for release in November. It will include songs with such titles as “We Can End It, Girl,” “Can I Smash (Capitalism),” “Burn Down My Hometown,” and a cover of Drive-by Truckers’ “Ramon Casiano.”
The album will not be free, despite Youngblood’s close-held belief system. “My parents cut off my allowance because of a little drug issue I had, and I don’t want to lose my second house, so yeah, I’m participating in capitalism …but it’s a necessary evil for now,” he said, brushing a white powder off the sleeve of his Che Guevara t-shirt.
At press time, Youngblood told us “I really don’t know why radio won’t play my music, but I bet its because I’m asexual.”
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One of Brenda's more fortunate classmates |