Party Song About Partying While You're Listening to a Song About Partying

 Seems like half the mainstream country songs are just tunes about partying or driving in a pickup truck while listening to songs about partying or driving in a pickup truck… People who are working out don’t listen to songs about lifting weight. People driving to work don’t listen to songs about commuting. Anyway, here’s my shot at a song made for listening to while you’re doing what the song is about. 

What I’m Doing Now

©2021 FTM Satire Lyrics

I’m driving a pickup truck

My foot is on the gas

I’m listening to music that sucks

Goin’ a little too fast

I’m rolling the window down

To throw out a beer can

Just saw a sheriff turn around

I hope he knows my dad

This song’s about what I’m doing now

I know you don’t like to think

So turn this stupid song up loud

That’s what I’m doing now

That’s what you’re doing now

Got my arm around my girl

Her foot is on the dash

I’m rhyming that first line with ‘world’

Cause that’s how you make the cash

We’re headed out to a bonfire

Why don’t you do the same?

My truck has Mickey Thompson tires

Don’t you forget that name

This song’s about what I’m doing now

I know you don’t like to think

So turn this boring song up loud

That’s what I’m doing now

That’s what you’re doing now

Bridge

I’m not writing no poetry

You don’t wanna get too deep

It’s party music while you’re partying

Now here’s a few snap beats

This song’s about what you’re doing now

So let’s hold up our drinks

And turn this mid-tempo song up loud

That’s what I’m doing now

That’s what you’re doing now

Way More Countrier

A response to the return of "look how country I am" songs, particularly Hardy's "Rednecker" (which I realize may be satire, but still...)

Way More Countrier

©2019 FTM Satire

I see the pissing contest's back

Country this and country that

Well let me tell you something Jack

I'm countrier than y'all

I live where GPS can't track

My daughter's bike has a gun rack

It ain't no rumor, it's a fact...

I'm way more countrier than y'all

So many deer heads you can't see my wall

I own five robes that Ric Flair wore

Drive a truck with a truck painted on the door

Say your neck is red and your jowls are fat

Well I'm way more countrier than that

Everything I kill, I fry it

Hit a possum, yeah I'll try it

You're rednecker? I don't buy it

I'm countrier than y'all

My wife's on a cornbread diet

Named my son after Bray Wyatt

Take a look, you won't deny it

I'm way more countrier than y'all

Can't find my trailer, the weeds are so tall

I sneak a six pack into church

Got a whole room full of Hee Haw merch

You're from the backwoods? I'm further back

Yeah, I'm way more countrier than that

Bridge

You caught a big bass

Well kiss my ass

I've got a tattoo of Jesus

drinking a Pabst

I'm way more countrier than y'all

So many deer heads you can't see my wall

I own five robes that Ric Flair wore

Drive a truck with a truck painted on the door

Say your neck is red and your jowls are fat

Well I'm way more countrier than that

The Next Smash for Jordan Lynch or Mitchell Davis or Whoever

If You Say I'm Not Country

©2019 FTM Lyrical Satirical

I like sugar in my unsweet tea

And my Texas chili full of beans

And I'll be on your ass like jeans

If you say I'm not country

I like to hunt a little snipe

And eat honeysuckle when it's ripe

And mister I might pull a knife

If you say I'm not country

Cause I'm from where they sing about

in songs from Kenny and Tim

Down there on that ol' rural route

Where I have definitely been

Church and mama and all that stuff

And girls sweet as Georgia plums

If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff

I'm as country as they come

I love to crank those old outlaw songs

Turn up the Brantley and sing along

I'll throw hands and prove you wrong

If you say I'm not country

Cause I love me a Grizzly pouch

There's red on my neck skin

From working tater fields down south

Where I have definitely been

Shine and biscuits and all that stuff

And girls sweet as Georgia plums

If you say I'm not, I might get rough

I'm as country as they come

Bridge

You can say I use snap beats

You can say I'm auto-tuned

But you can't say I'm not country

Just look at my Aldean tattoo

Yeah I'm from where they sing about

in songs from Kenny and Tim

Down there on that ol' rural route

Where I have definitely been

Church and mama and all that stuff

And girls sweet as Georgia plums

If you say I'm not, I'll call your bluff

I'm as country as they come

Americana Man: A Satire Lyric

Americana Man

(©2018 Farce the Music satire)

My patchy beard is finally filling in

Gained a couple pounds, need another ten

Gotta be chubby not quite fat

Buy myself a pork pie hat

Pretty soon it won't look like I'm playing pretend

Sold the F-150 that daddy bought

Quit the mailroom job that mama got

Grabbed a guitar, learned some chords

Wrote a song about the Lord

And twenty more about prisons, farms, and pot

Americana man

Honest and real as you can stand

Ain't got a story but I got a plan

to be

an Americana man

My uncle's cousin knows a producer dude

Produced a few roots rock who's who's

Just need a few more flannel shirts

I'll be so damn real it hurts

Even though I'd rather be Kane Brown or Luke

Americana man

Honest and real as you can stand

No backstory but I got a plan

to be

an Americana man

Bridge

Hire a fiddle

Hire a steel man

Gonna be lit

Hit you in the feels man

Americana man

Honest and real as you can stand

No backstory but I got a plan

to be

an Americana man

Token Country Song

Token Country Song

©2017 Farce Satire

Hey y'all, do you remember me

I'm a country song, long time no see

It's the only time you'll hear a fiddle play

Rest of the album's hip-hop and pop

Country section's just where I'm stocked

But you best believe, this ain't no mistake

Chorus

This is the token country song

In the middle of an album fourteen tracks long

Y'all say "yeehaw" and stomp your feet along

This is the token country song

Stuck this in for nostalgia's sake

So ironically crank it by the lake

The beat will be back booming soon enough

Here's where I really amp up the twang

Here's where I drop Alan Jackson's name

Even though Lil Uzi is who I really love

(Chorus)

Bridge

Here's a weird drum loop and a rhyme that's fat

So you don't forget that I'm down with that

But

This is the token country song

In the middle of an album fourteen tracks long

Y'all say "hell yeah" and stomp your feet along

This is the token country song

A New Summer Smash Hit

Just Like We Did Last Summer
©2017 FTM Satire

Baby here we go again
A summer song for your and your friends
June, July and August heat
It's the same damn song with a different beat
Ice cold beers and happy tears
Cause swimsuit styles show more ass this year
Pour up drinks till the world's a blur
And crank whatever rapper's popular

Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer

Honey, here's where I hip-hop talk
Even though I'm as white as chalk
Let's skinny dip, get a tan
Then dance by some trucks the way you can
If booty's wrong I'm a sinner
So turn it around like a fidget spinner
Auto-tune this familiar line
Pass around a jar of store bought shine

Just like we did last summer
Pickup trucks, Jeeps, and Forerunners
Country boys booming that bass like thunder
If the cops show up it'll be a bummer
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer

Bridge
This part's where we slow it down and get a little romantic
Girl you save me from myself, moonlight, blah blah enchanted
You be the housewife, I'll be the plumber...

Just like we did last summer
Dumb ass music and weak rum runners
You got pirate booty and I wanna plunder
No it ain't legal, but you got my number
Beaches, buds, and backseat hummers
Just like we did last summer

Body ON a Back Road

I recently made a meme which joked that Chris Knight's version of Sam Hunt's current single would be a bit more violent. Of course, I've taken that the next step. I wrote a 'parody' of sorts (not the humorous sort), that reenvisions Sam's pop sex song as a Chris Knight murder song.

Body on a Back Road
("Parody" of Sam Hunt's "Body Like a Back Road")

I found him on the south side

With blood in his hair

A cold, dead look in his eyes

Somebody just dropped him there

I know her house number

Down on Silver Creek

Black-eyed girl in a farm shack

Now her outlook ain't so bleak

Body on a back road

How it got there nobody knows

But you won't find anyone who'll miss that man

Somebody might do 30

But she ain't got no worries

Cause now he'll never raise a hand again

The way he'd come home drunk and mean
Beat her with a belt
She hoped and prayed for a way out
Not the hand life dealt
Cuffed in a backseat
for motives there might be
But I know her alibi will come up clean

Body on a back road

How it got there nobody knows

But you won't find anyone who'll miss that man

Somebody might do 30

But she ain't got no worries

Cause now he'll never raise a hand again

Followed him to his deer plot

Where he'd drink after work

Then I put that gun to his face

For all he'd done to hers

Now he's in hell or heaven

Yeah I made sure of that

Left that sumbitch lying there

Wiped the blood off of my badge

Body on a back road

How it got there somebody knows

But why it happened everybody understands

And I know I might do 30

But she don't have to worry

Cause now he'll never raise a hand again

Next Big Hit for Cole Lynch or Dustin Brown or Whoever

Forget This Song
©2016 Farce the Music Satires

Hey baby, this song's for you
You might not remember it when it's through
But it's not that bad
There's some fiddle hidden deep
Barely a melody for your mind to keep
But it won't make you sad

Chorus
Forget this song in 3 or 4 minutes
Just tap your cute lil' foot while it's spinnin'
Drive your truck and hunt for bucks
and drink a beer and sing along
Until you forget this song

Cutie girl, crank this one up
Text your friends and fill your cup
With some crappy beer
Might not even make any sense
But it makes dollars in my defense
So be of good cheer

And
Forget this song in 3 or 4 minutes
Just tap your cute lil' foot while it's spinnin'
Cherry lips and country things
Cut off jeans and please don't yawn
Until you forget this song

Bridge
While it's playing it might feel special to you
And it'll go to number one but it's really number two

So, forget this song when I put out another
That one'll be about twistin' the covers
But for now let's party on
and drink a beer and sing along
Until you forget this song
Forget this song

What song?

FTM Predicts the Lyrics: Luke Bryan - Kick the Dust Up

 

Yesterday, Luke Bryan announced his huge 2015 "Kick the Dust Up" tour. That's presumably the name of the forthcoming first single (or just a cut) off his next album, and it's written by our buddies Dallas Davidson, Ashley Gorley and Chris DeStefano (writers of the all-time classic "That's My Kind of Night"). Here is (are?) FTM's predicted lyrics for that sure-fire hit and bane of our existence for months to come.

Kick the Dust Up
©2015 FTM Satire

This ol' town is so boring and stuff
Nobody likes to get turnt up
To Schmurda and Big Sean
Well I ain't stressin' on what they say
So climb up in my pick-up bae
Let's get our cliché on

Kick the dust up
Shake your butt butt
Girl, move them haunches like a paint mixer
Tearin' up the pasture like a twister
Fill your cup up
Kick the dust up

All my bros is blowin' up my phone
Pulling up twisted on Patron
Glad they out that damn town
All them bustahs keep throwin' shade
But I just wanna get laid
So drop them cutoffs down

Kick the dust up
Shake your butt butt
Girl, bounce that thang like a jackhammer
Let's get cray cray, nah I didn't stammer
Fill your cup up
Kick the dust up

Bridge
Out here where the moon hangs low
Forget about your troubles
Hangin' with thots and crankin' Coe
Babe I wanna bust yo bubble

Kick the dust up
Shake your butt butt
Girl, twerk that maker like yo name is Miley
Make my emoticon a smiley
Fill your cup up
Kick the dust up

It's Hard Out Here for a Bro

Hard Out Here for a Bro
©2015 FTM Satire

Since the bloggers started killing fun
I can't call girls a hottie
All I can say's she's my favorite one
With a physically fit body
And the label says we drink too much
So turn up Coca Cola
As I drive my eco-friendly truck
Can't tell her to slide it over

It's hard out here for a bro
They won't let me sing about hoes
Can't do the stanky legg on my tailgate
Can only turn the party up about halfway
It's hard out here for a bro

Maddie & Tae have been throwing shade
And old ass singers hatin'
Sayin' all I do is drink and get laid
Well duh, ain't it great man?
But here I am driving legal speeds
With no chains on my wallet
Liberals out here killin' my dreams
Maybe I'll go back to college

It's hard out here for a bro
Tides are turning on Music Row
Can't crack a cold one in my Chevrolet
Can only turn the party up about halfway
It's hard out here for a bro

Bridge
I miss getting turnt
Things are changing so fast

I miss Ed Hardy, I miss swaying ass

It's hard out here for a bro
They won't let me sing about hoes
Can't do the Shmoney dance on my tailgate
Can only turn the party up about halfway
It's hard out here for a bro

Dumbass Satire

Dumbass Country Song 

©2014 FTM Satires

Babygirl honey are you ready to go
Gotta drive this boner down a gravel road
I'm likin' the way you look in those jeans
Wanna take 'em off and have sex if you know what I mean
But first we'll find a party and get real drunk
Turn up some country but only if it bumps
Me and my bros talking about dumb shit
Might whip out my pecker cause I'm pretty proud of it

Chorus
Let's raise up a glass to being dumbass
Celebrate our stupidity
Don't care about grades, we just like getting laid
Party like we're on CMT
Sloshing red cups and crankin' on up
These trucks that we all drive for free
Our goal in life is blacking out tonight
You know I know we'll always be
Dumbass

Sweetygirl sexy are you ready to go
Tan lines bare feet blah blah let your blonde hair flow
I wanna get inside your lingerie
But not like try it on because that just sounds gay
In the bed, in the creek, maybe on the gate
I'm too drunk to sex anyway, so let's hit second base
And if the blue lights catch us bein' bad
I'll whip out my cellphone and call up my lawyer dad

Yeah, let's raise up a glass to being dumbass
Celebrate our stupidity
Don't care about grades, we just like getting laid
Party like we're on CMT
Sloshing red cups and crankin' on up
These trucks that we all drive for free
Our goal in life is blacking out tonight
You know I know we'll always be
Dumbass

Bridge
Whiskey dashboard moonshine chrome
Yep yep oohhhhhhhhhhh

(Repeat Chorus)

Lyrical Satirical: Country B**ches

Country B**ches

©2014 FTM Satire

She's a pair of shorts on a pair of legs

Dancing too close to the tailgate edge

She's a blonde haired blue eyed sexy thang

She's a late night text and a backseat bang

Lord I love them country b**ches

Them howdy y'alls in tiny britches

White girl wasted, weekend wreck

Buyin' us beer on daddy's check

Come around and scratch my itches

Lord I love them country b**ches

She's a big ol' rack in a tiny shirt

Crank some Hank and she can make it twerk

She's tan line teases and licking lips

She's a big ol' booty and a skinny dip

Lord I love them country b**ches

Them howdy y'alls in tiny britches

White girl wasted, weekend wreck

Buyin' us beer on daddy's check

Come around and scratch my itches

Lord I love them country b**ches

Bridge

She's a baby bump at sweet sixteen

Tenth grader in maternity jeans

She's a late night call saying it's mine

But I'm on to the next country girl in line

Lord I love them country b**ches

Them moneymakers in tiny britches

White girl wasted, weekend wreck

Fake phone numbers, names to forget

Come around and scratch my itches

Lord I love them country b**ches

I Think I've Heard This Song Before

I Think I've Heard This Song Before

©2014 FTM Satire

This opening riff sounds so familiar

And this beat is kinda deja vu

Here's a line for good times in the pasture

With vocals that are auto-tuned

Chorus

I think I've heard this song before

Let's all party cause thinking's a chore

Country music's stuck in a revolving door

I think I've heard this song before

I predict a fine girl in tight denim

Will put a drink to her cherry lips

A pretty white boy is talking in rhythm

Moonlight, moonshine and mud-grips

I think I've heard this song before

Same cut-offs the girl in the last song wore

Tilt your head back and let the Fireball pour

I think I've heard this song before

Bridge

They say country music's now for the kids

Who never heard these well worn rhymes

But when every song sounds like the last one did

That excuse doesn't hold shine

I think I've heard this song before

Does anybody think for themselves anymore?

Hip hop slang over some power chords

I think I've heard this song before

Just throw your hands in the honkey-flippin' air

Wave 'em all around like a millionaire

Say "hooo"

Say "ho ho"

Ain't no party like the same ol' party cause the same ol' party don't stop

I think I've heard this song before

I don't wanna hear it anymore

Ain't Much Country (In That Town)

I wrote this lyric 12 years ago (!) but the complaints are still pretty much all the same now. 

Ain't Much Country (In That Town) I ran off to Nashville with a guitar and a smile Barlights in my eyes, I planned to pluck around awhile Folks back home all told me that I had that Nashville sound But soon as I hit Music Row, to my dismay I found Ain't much country in that town Ain’t much heart, it's all been sold Ain't no cowboys 'neath the hats And no true stories to be told It's love songs by the numbers With no twangin’ hangin’ round Ol' Hank's left the building Ain't much country in that town I played a writer’s night, chose a cheatin’ song or two A pretty boy pulled me aside, said ‘Boy what’s wrong with you?” Don’t you know they want to hear the happy side of things And you might wanna cut that accent next time that you sing I thought he was kidding, till I checked the radio All I heard were rock songs with some fiddles played real low Every song was happy, every singer was in love And suddenly I realized I wasn’t fake enough (Repeat Chorus) I came back from Nashville with a headache and a debt Feet back on the ground, I left that town with no regret Folks around all told me I should give it one more try But I just shook my head and laughed, and gladly told ‘em why (Repeat Chorus) Bridge A couple of George’s might drop by and Alan Jackson still lingers Takin’ up those token spots as the last real country singers (Repeat Chorus) ---------------- Optional last verse: I came back from Nashville with a habit and a frown Bottle in my hand, I planned to let it let me down Folks back home all told me that I had to try again I’d as soon bash in my head while pissin’ in the wind ‘Cause... (Chorus) ©2002 Corey Parkman

Drop it Like a Tailgate (Girl)

(Drop it Like a) Tailgate

©2014 FTM Satire

Rick Ross on the Fosgates

Raptor rollin' can't be late

Country girl for a hot date

Cut-offs make my heart race

Drive out where the crops grow

Pickups by the dirt rows

Bass kickin' errbody know

She's here to rock the show

(Girl)

Drop it like a tailgate

Shake it like an earthquake

Wiggle like some live bait

Girl

Switch it up crank some Luke Bryan

Honey-thang move that behind

Fireballin' no I don't mind

Gettin' crunk like a combine

Bro mad-doggin' wanna fight

Chill dude, it's a'ight

Get faded on some Bud Light

Let's all have a good night

(And watch her)

Drop it like a tailgate

Stop it like a disk brake

Make a gay dude go straight

Girl

Bridge

Every Friday I do the same

Wife beater and a wallet chain

Fly hotties and spittin' game

I already forgot her name

(but she can)

Drop it like a tailgate

Float it like a snowflake

Curvy as a rat snake

Girl

Yeah,

Drop it like a tailgate

Throw it like a bouquet

Hotter than a burnt steak

Girl

Thanks to @Cati_Jolyn for the cash money hook!

Lyrical Satirical: Darn Good Time (A Kinder Gentler Bro-country Anthem)

What if bro-country songs were respectful of women, 

responsible with drinking habits and less concerned with outlaw posturing?

Darn Good Time

©2014 FTM Satires

Headed to the party

Driving the speed limit

Hands free callin'

I'll be there in a minute

I'm ready for a drink

My throat's got a tickle

But I wait till I'm safely

Out of the vehicle

Chorus

We're all here to have a darn good time

Let's responsibly enjoy some legal shine

Just see the young women, I respect their minds

Shout "Heck Yeah!" let's have a darn good time

Pass around the good stuff

But only have a couple

Don't want anyone

Getting in any trouble

One fellow's getting angry

He's red-faced and cussin'

Let's try to cool him down

With a friendly discussion

'Cause

We're just here to have a darn good time

Let's responsibly enjoy some legal shine

Just see the young women, I respect their minds

Shout "Heck Yeah!" let's have a darn good time

Bridge

Crank up some Huey Lewis

That's how we like to rock

But if there's any drugs or sex

I'm gonna call the cops

We're all here to have a darn good time

If you're a bit too young, you can have Cheerwine

Just see the young women, I respect their minds

Shout "Heck Yeah!" let's have a darn good time