Showing posts with label Drive-by Truckers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drive-by Truckers. Show all posts

Feb 22, 2024

Wrasslin' Country Reaction Gifs #79

When the DJ you hired for the reception asks if he can play a Dan + Shay song

When your friends gather around you the day after you got so drunk you streaked at the Vandoliers concert

When you can tell the college kid beside you at the Gabe Lee show is going to talk the whole time

When somebody plays "If I Said You Had a Beautiful Body Would You Hold It Against Me" at any rural Mississippi bar

When your son calls what he's wearing an outfit

Country or western?

When you thought Wallen was a good ol' boy
but now he's collaboratin' with a bunch of rappers

When you find out your friend liked the last Chicks album

When the band has a bunch of false endings on the song


When it's 1992 and you're about to wow the crowd with "Achy Breaky Heart" and some other songs they don't know

When you said you'd review a local country artist's album and 10 seconds in, you're thinking of how to ghost him


When you ask the bro next door to please turn down the Aldean music


Jul 30, 2021

Anti-Capitalist Country Singer Dismayed by Lack of Airplay

YouTube country sensation Dexter Youngblood keeps hitting a glass ceiling. According to the singer of “My Big Ol’ Truck,” country radio refuses to play the song, which has amassed 1.3 million plays on the video site. “I know it seems hypocritical to seek fortune for my hard work, but capitalism is compulsory at this point in history in America, so why not attempt to spread my message?” asked the Oregon native. 

The song, a modern sounding pop-country anthem complete with snap beats and talk-singing, promotes a community based enjoyment of his ’22 Ford F-150 Lightning for partying, trips to ‘parades,’ and helping out ‘people like us.’ While innocent on the surface, there are mentions of the color red, stars, and hammers that let you know Youngblood is adept at symbolism.


“Frankly, it’s a non-starter.” said industry insider Jova Marks. “While the song is innocuous enough and it bangs and slaps and whatnot, mainstream country now is as much based on image and personality, so a little digging by country fans who are predominantly conservative, would end Youngblood’s career before it gets off the ground.”


A press release sent to Farce the Music from Youngblood’s PR stated that his debut album For the Common Good is set for release in November. It will include songs with such titles as “We Can End It, Girl,” “Can I Smash (Capitalism),” “Burn Down My Hometown,” and a cover of Drive-by Truckers’ “Ramon Casiano.” 


The album will not be free, despite Youngblood’s close-held belief system. “My parents cut off my allowance because of a little drug issue I had, and I don’t want to lose my second house, so yeah, I’m participating in capitalism …but it’s a necessary evil for now,” he said, brushing a white powder off the sleeve of his Che Guevara t-shirt. 


At press time, Youngblood told us “I really don’t know why radio won’t play my music, but I bet its because I’m asexual.”

Dec 8, 2020

What Your Favorite 2020 Album Says About You


 (Idea "borrowed" from Medium)


Dustin Lynch - Tullahoma

You were kicked out of at least 3 stores for not wearing a mask in 2020. You don’t really like music, you just like Dustin’s smile, abs, and … wait, you’ve moved on to Russell Dickerson.


Russell Dickerson - Southern Symphony

You have the attention span of a 2-year-old and this is the most recent pop country album that came out. You don’t have a boyfriend, but if you did, he’d leave you for your godawful taste in music.


Upchurch - Everlasting Country

You’ve only heard it twice during your allotted media time at the prison library but you love it. Your parents are more proud of your brother, a furry who smokes synthetic marijuana.


Elizabeth Cook - Aftermath

You have put a man into a headlock for the last cigarette. You’ve showed up to church looking like a million bucks after a night of drinking that would have ended a normal human.


Drive-by Truckers - The Unravelling

You’ve been a fan since way back. Way back in 2016. Your real life friends hate you despite having the same political beliefs.


Sam Hunt - Southside

You’re either an idiot, or an otherwise intelligent music journalist with one major blind spot. 


Matt Stell - Better Than That

You’re one of the 17 people who know who Matt Stell is, despite him having two #1 hits.


Arlo McKinley - Die Midwestern

Based on your listening habits, people would assume you’re a hard-living rancher or trucker, but they know better because they work in the cubicle next to yours. 


Tyler Childers - Long Violent History

You’re able to look past click-bait headlines to see the true meaning and measure of a man. Also, your standards for old timey fiddle music are pretty low.


Keith Urban - The Speed of Now

You worked from home all year, but made fun of people who were worried about Covid. You love Yellowstone, but hate that old timey music they play. Your kids couldn’t spell their own names until they were 8 - not because they have learning disabilities - because their names are some shit like Matthieuwe or Khelleighe.


Nov 24, 2020

Patterson Hood Mulls Temporary Peach State Return

By Kevin Broughton 

 Portland, Ore. -- After a chaotic and tumultuous four years – and an otherworldly 2020 – it’s only fitting that unbounded bliss can turn to crushing morosity in an instant. Such is the roller coaster existence of Patterson Hood, the Portland-based activist and political commentator who moonlights as the front man for the Drive By Truckers. 

Saturday, Nov. 7 was a joyous day by all accounts in the City of Roses. First CNN, then Fox News, and then all the other networks and wire services followed in turn: Joe Biden, they reported, would be the 46th President of the United States. Mostly peaceful celebrants rushed into the streets.

“It was beautiful, man,” Hood says. “Four years of fascism, finally over.” The Oregonian thought himself alone in his bliss, until that perfect moment when he found a kindred – and musical – spirit. “Kasey Anderson and I ran into each other. It turns out we were both throwing acid at the same Portland so-called ‘firefighters,’” he says. “Those dudes were f*cking with freedom-fighters who had mostly peacefully torched an Apple Store in celebration of Biden’s big win. I got the whole thing on my iPhone 12.” 

Jubilation became concern on multiple levels, to Hood’s chagrin. “Turns out Kasey’s on Federal paper and has an ankle bracelet,” Hood says. “Well, he said he had an ankle bracelet. I think it was a baby monitor, to tell you the truth. Anyway, he hauled ass when they made a curfew announcement on the loudspeakers.” 

Hood was undeterred, if now alone. And yet… 

“I joined up with some other freedom fighters, at the last Taco Bell before it peacefully went up in flames…” Hood trails off here, caught up in the memory of a poignant moment in Portland social justice history. He is a little weepy. 

“I got in line,” Hood says, choking up a bit before recovering his composure. “And person after person, be it he/she/xi/xxyx/cis, every one of us HUMAN PEOPLE said to Juan – so his corporate name tag said – YES, MY ORDER IS FOR A LIVING WAGE FOR ALL LETTUCE PICKERS IN THE CENTRAL VALLEY.” 

Hood isn’t shy admitting he enjoyed the sick burn. “I mean face it, what are corporatists gonna say in the face of that kind of truth?” Sadly, the euphoric social triumph would give way to realpolitik. Such is the duality of the Southern thing – Patterson Hood-style. 

“What totally freaked me out was that there was a whole other set of elections going on at the same time or whatever,” said Hood, who attended some college courses in Northern Alabama in the 1980s. “There are senate elections that happen, too. And there are some elections that happen in Georgia or whatever. And in January!” 

Hood – after reading the same story in The Daily Kos three times – grew tense. When he learned that two Senate runoffs in Georgia could drastically impact President-elect Biden’s agenda, he was at first cynical. “Typical redneck Georgia, man,” Hood said. “It’s just the same Jim Crow stuff: they make a Democrat win twice, just because he’s a black guy. This kind of racist shit is why I left Georgia after living there for like 20 years or something.” 

Yet rather than curse the darkness, Hood turned to a literary light. 

“Somebody turned me on to this guy Tom Friedman? He writes for the New York Times and magazines, too,” he said. “He’s like an expert, but still can deal with the common man. He’s interviewed taxi drivers from Athens to Rome. Which is perfect, since those are my two favorite cities in Georgia!” 

 It was a national television interview of Friedman that grabbed the fifty-something poet’s attention.    

 


“I mean, dude, that takes it up a notch,” Hood said. “This is serious activism! I thought my friend Topher in L.A. was owning the MAGA’s with his radical phone-banking.”

“I mean, I love the way my boy mimics that cis-white woman’s stupid accent, but you gotta give the nod to the writer guy,” he said. “Which is why I’m headed back to Georgia so I can vote for Rafael Warnock…and that one cis-white guy too, since he’s also a Democrat.” Asked if he had voted in Oregon, and if that might pose legal problems in the Peach State, Hood grew indignant. 

 “So f*cking what, man? I mean, you gonna buy into this Jim Crow myth of “voter fraud?” Hood snapped. “You’re telling me it’s against the law to go to Georgia to vote for a black man? It’s the most anti-racist thing to do, ever. Check your patriarchy and your white privilege, bro. Seriously. Besides, Gov. Abrams will pardon us all.” 

 As he gathered his things to prepare for his cross-country political odyssey, he took a moment to address a music-industry rumor about his band’s most recent political album. “It is nobody’s business whether President Xi and the Peoples’ Cultural Collective sent us a small donation to support our art,” Hood said. “Besides, you can’t prove it, and it’s a totally racist and sinophobic thing to say. Only a fear-mongering redneck from Texas would say such a thing. 
-- fake news

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