Conway Twitty Album Covers with Hip-Hop Titles

(language warning)

Singer Reveals the Story Behind Smash Hit "Down on a Backroad"

Chance Reynolds, singer of current Billboard Country #1 hit "Down on a Backroad" isn't just a hunky new star, he's also a surprisingly insightful country poet. He sat down with us to tell how his debut smash came to be. We'll let Chance take it from here.

"Well, me and my co-writers, Anthony Gorley, David Dallason, Corby Luke, Chad Chaddington, Ian Whitey, Cawl Caishin,  Ben Hayseed, Rolf Bronzeman, and Chris DeBro, were sitting around in our writing office suite, just chillin'. Everybody but me was talking about stock options and which Tesla car they were thinking of buying.

I'm just starting out so I just have 500 bucks and an old Ford Ranger, so all this stuff is above my head, so I just sat there quiet and took a drink every time they passed the Ole Smoky® Harley Davidson® Road House Customs™ Moonshine.

After about an hour of them discussing their granite countertops and waiting lists for private schools, Corby finally said we should start writing a song. David wanted to do something about sex in a feed shed. Rolf wanted to do a party song about Pitbull going mudding. Nobody really liked that idea.

"Y'all like money?" asked Cawl. We all nodded. "Let's just go simple then. Chilling with your girl…. down on a backroad."

"That's f**king lit!" yelled Dallason, and we all agreed.

All of them wrote the song together because I'm new and don't know what the hell is going on other than how to super-set my squats and keep a five o'clock shadow going indefinitely. When they were through, I came up with the idea to add the bridge about oral sex, so like, it's real cool and has a double meaning… she's going "down" on a backroad. Get it? Get it? (laughs creepily) Anyhow, that's how I got my name on the songwriting credits.

The record company dug it and I could hit all the notes without much auto-tuning, so it was a go and that's the story."

It's incredible to get an eagle's eye view of the hard work and talent that goes into a modern country hit! Thanks to Chance for the peek behind the custom black apricot doors of the writing room!

At press time Chance was readying his second single, "2 Chainz and Jesus," for release.

The Truth About Country Pasture Parties in 2016

 

2016 Country Throwdown

(Drunk People Looking at Their Phones)
©2016 Farce the Music Satires

I've seen all those videos
Booty shaking girls and bros
All dancing around a big ol' bonfire
That's something I would like to see
And Billy Dukes invited me
So I put gravel underneath my tires

Got out past the county line
Dreaming of hotties and shine
Cold ones loaded in a Yeti I just bought
Followed that big cloud of dust
Crossed the ditch and there I was
Ready to throw down and this is what I saw

Chorus
Drunk people looking at their phones
Drunk people looking at their phones
Buncha Country Outfitter clones
One guy cranking a Yeezy song
and drunk people looking at their phones

Girls weren't shaking what they had
Just tapping screens and looking mad
No keg stands, nobody kicking up their boots
Bros weren't fighting, causing scenes
Just sharing "crying Jordan" memes
Shook my head thinkin' "Is this what's it's all come to?"

Drunk people looking at their phones
Drunk people looking at their phones
Circle of trucks with their shining chrome
One guy cranking a 2 Chainz song
and drunk people looking at their phones

Bridge
I need a word with Mr. Luke Bryan
and I guess Florida-Georgia's lyin'
Cause all I see is

Drunk people looking at their phones
Drunk people looking at their phones
No skinny dipping, no punches thrown
Just one guy cranking a Sam Hunt song
and drunk people looking at their phones

CMT Awards are Tonight, Here's the Lineup!

 

*satire, though some are real*

Kim Jong-un's Master Plan