Unique Like Everybody Else

Steve Harvey Country Reaction Gifs

When somebody asks my opinion of Morgan Wallen and then gets mad when I tell them

New 49 Winchester album Friday???

When that pill you got from somebody at Laurel Cove Music Festival wasn't the Advil you asked for

You're excited about a new Chase Rice album?

When there used to be ringback tones and somebody had a Rascal Flatts song on there

When "Feed Jake" came on and caught you on a tough day

You went to see Walker Hayes and Kane Brown on purpose?

When you see another dad at the school function wearing a Tyler Childers t-shirt

The Long Awaited Follow Up to Urban Chipmunk

The original: 

Behold, the follow-up:

Book the Worst Concert Ever

Country Facebook Awareness Profile Frames

 Many people use social messaging frames around their profile pics on Facebook to promote political, medical, charitable, social justice and other causes. What if these country singers had frames around their profile pics? What would they say? 

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country Radio: August '21

A poop emoji is negative, a strike-thru is positive.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-4) overall which is a 5 point improvement from May (the previous time we did this chart). The peculiar thing about this chart is the wide variance of quality. There are several truly excellent songs and several bottom of the barrel offerings. Usually, there’s a lot more mediocre going on. The worst song (just like May) is Dan + Shay’s “Glad You Exist.” The highest rated is Kenny Chesney’s best song in ages, “Knowing You.” The glacially slow pace of country radio is on full display here as half of these songs were also on the chart TWO FREAKING MONTHS AGO. Yawn.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Dallas Country Reaction Gifs

When your wife starts getting into Dan + Shay

Vivian to Johnny circa 1955

After somebody dares me to listen to Walker Hayes’ new EP

When real country music returns and we find out this has all been a bad dream

When he tries a Chase Rice pick-up line on you

Some of y’all just like Morgan Wallen because liberals don’t, but that’s none of my business

When somebody plays some Johnny Lee

When somebody talks to me while I’m listening to Turnpike

Monday Morning Memes: Randy Travis, Kane Brown, Hank Jr.

 

The Crud Report: May 2021

 (yeah, so May starts tomorrow... whatever)

Malcolm in the Middle Country Reaction Gifs

When Luke Bryan won Entertainer of the Year

When somebody plays you Luke's new song "Waves"

When somebody plays you Austin Meade's song "Waves"

When somebody handed you the aux cord, and you played some Cuttin' Grass

♫ We gotta sink the Bismarck cause the world depends on us ♫

Why do you like Niko Moon?

When you check the mainstream country station to see if they've gotten any better

Hey, you wanna hear some Upchurch?

When your friends are embarrassed to be seen with you because you're a Chase Rice fan

Monday Morning Memes: Doug Stone, Morgan Wallen, Florida-Georgia Line

 

Police Deploy Axe Sniffing Dogs to Find Illegal Bro-Country House Concerts

While Covid mandates continue to restrict large gatherings of people in most states, some bro-country artists have taken to having secret house concerts to avoid the watchful eye of the law, and the certain scorn of social media. Many of these shows have gone undetected, with the singers and audiences quieting down and hiding at first report of police in the area. As a result, law enforcement has had to employ a new tactic to bust these illegal concerts: Axe-sniffing dogs.

“We’ve found that teens and men who enjoy this kind of music tend to wear offensively strong smelling body sprays such as Axe, so we’ve trained Buster, our drug-sniffing K9, to identify similar odors.” said K9 Unit Lt. Parker Davis of the Smyrna Police Department. “It’s working like a charm so far.” 

The SPD has already shut down 2 Chase Rice concerts, a Chris Janson show, and a couple of other up-and-coming bro-country artists' parties. “There were 25 jacked-up pickup trucks in this cul-de-sac, so we knew something was going on when we followed up on a complaint from neighbors, but the area was completely silent when we started investigating,” said Davis. “Knocks didn’t root anything out, but Buster just smashed through the fence of one yard… you should have seen the wallet chains gleaming in the street lights as they all ran for it.”

Fines were levied, and four open container arrests were made. Similar stories have come in from the Tallahassee, FL area as well. “We taught our dog Hurley to detect body spray and White Claw,” said TPD’s K9 officer Levon Goins. “He’s rooted out 5 different illegal shows. I’ve never seen so many drunk white girls.”

One of the illicit concerts shut down in Tallahassee also led to arrests for crystal meth and prescription drug possession with intent. “That was one of those ‘hick hop’ shows, I think his name was Upshirt, Upchurch, something like that.” laughed Goins.

Country Music Video Country Reaction Gifs

 Hank, gimme a sign if you like drinkin'

When Yonder Mountain String Band is about to do an encore but you suddenly can't find the stage

When one of your kids dares play Dustin Lynch in your home

That truck that cut you off while cranking Florida-Georgia Line?

When I accidentally hear 2 seconds of that Parmalee & Blanco Brown song

Oh, you have tickets for a Chase Rice concert?

Do you like real country? Do you wanna be my friend?

When there's a pyramid of cans on the shore and a lake patrol boat behind you