Showing posts with label Lauren Alaina. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lauren Alaina. Show all posts

Nov 2, 2017

The Current Poop of Mainstream Country: November '17

A poop emoji equals a negative rating. A strike-thru poop emoji is a positive rating.

The current Poop Rating of the Mediabase Top 20 is (-17) overall which is 6 point improvement from August (the last time we did this chart). The best song is Luke Combs' "When It Rains It Pours." The worst is easily Walker Hayes "You Broke Up With Me."  There are 2 solo females in the top 20 - as there were in August. And what do ya' know? Aaron Watson has his first top 20!

While there are some truly awful songs here, the overall quality of the chart is trending upward. Let's hope it continues in this direction.

Chart info from Mediabase/Country Aircheck.

Feb 14, 2013

Top 10 Shortest Books by Country Artists V

10. Social Media is Your Friend - Rich O'Toole

09. Hairstyles I Haven't Tried Yet - Lauren Alaina (from @Sam4Vols)

08. My Favorite Quotes From Liberals - Charlie Daniels

07. Hair Care Tips andTricks - Zac Brown

06. Talent for Dummies - Brantley Gilbert (from J. Rutledge on FB)

05. Blake Shelton's Most Intelligent Tweets

04. Great Non-Autotuned Florida-Georgia Line Songs

03. Lab Report from Hunter Hayes' Physician: Testosterone Levels

02. Recording Contracts for Dummies - Jamey Johnson (from @76crowes)

01. Male Celebrities & Musicians Age 18-35 I Haven't Dated by Taylor Swift

Jan 12, 2012

Snap Judgements - Promo Only Country Radio January '12

Like I've said before, Trace's songs are usually gold nuggets or turds. This one actually falls somewhere in the middle, for the first time in a while. The lyric resembles something I'd have written back in my aspiring lyricist days. Which is to say, a decent idea with a few good lines thrown in, but doesn't have much new to say. The tune is kinda unmemorable.. okay, very. Trace's general charm will probably lift this into the top 20, but it doesn't sound like a smash.

Why he (actually, our old friends the LoCash Cowboys wrote it) chose to give it a grammatically incorrect title is beyond me. That's the only thing really different about this song from his last 20 singles. You not gonna be surprised by the formula: anthemic guitars, plucking banjo, uplifting lyrics, female friendly subject matter, foot-tapping beat, solid guitar solo. That's Keith's career in a nutshell. Nothing offensive here - completely catchy and totally interchangeable with most of his other songs.

David Bradley - If You Can't Make Money
"If you can't make money/make out with somebody/if you can't make money/make love"… that's the gist and it goes no deeper. Nice sentiment, but I'd like to see it developed a little further. It's a tolerable song, but David's vocals aren't particularly distinctive. The cheesy crowd cheering at the end knocks this down half a grade.

Wow, she doesn't sound like Carrie Underwood for a change. And the instruments are all country.. the instrumentation, however is rocked up. Oh no, the chorus is half "oh -whoa-ohs." Not cool with me, almost ever. "We got homegrown in our genes" opens itself up for way too many jokes. Okay song, but the chorus destroys it for me. Oh yeah, and she name drops Jason freakin' Aldean. WTF?

Is this a Montgomery Gentry cover? Nope. Kracker's saying "America's my hometown" here, pandering to everybody, not just small town lovers. Tuscaloosa, New York, San Diego, everybody gets mentioned so hopefully every radio station will play it. This sounds like something of a hit, but it's pretty dull - one chord and the truth. On a positive note, Kracker's vocals are getting better. Nothing to see here.

Love and Theft - Angel Eyes
Is this a Jeff Healey Band cover? Nope. There's only two guys in the group now - so which one's love and which one's theft? Eh, really dull song. A Jeff Healey cover would have been better. "There's a little bit of devil in her angel eyes" ….who cares? Female friendly, for females who don't really care what they're listening to, anyway. Yawnz.

Rodney Atkins - He's Mine
Rock! Oh wait, country. But it's got a rocking swamp groove. Is this a declaration that he wants custody in the divorce? This is a tried-and-true Rodney Atkins formula tune… several story snippets framed by an interlocking chorus that fits each scenario. Not as godawful as some of his recent singles, but meh.

George Strait - Love's Gonna Make it Alright
This was my least favorite song on George's new album at first, but it's grown on me. You would think George + repetitive chorus would = boring, but it doesn't here. It's kinda cheesy, but he can do whatever he wants at this point and it'll sound just fine. 

This started with some promise with a little well-defined regret in the lyric, but it's all downhill from there. Crap. This is ready-made for a Glee episode. Schmaltzy show-choir girly junk. I was embarrassed someone might hear me listening to this. They make Lady Antebellum sound like Megadeth.

Billy Currington - Like My Dog
I kinda liked this the first time I heard it, but it never struck me as single-material. Still doesn't, but my opinion of it has dropped. The edits drive a nail into this song. What? You can't say "hell" on the radio now? If this promo only collection is any sign, 2012 will be the most neutered (see what I did there?) year ever in country music. Also, the dogs barking as censorship of the word "bitch" sounds like it was edited in on an old Emerson cassette tape recorder. Awful.

Craig Campbell - When I Get It
Another edit-out of "hell." Really people? Hell hell hell hell hell hell hell. Get over it. This song is a deep consideration of the times we're living in. Not really, but it does hit on the economic problems we're living through, with a bit of humor. It's okay, that's about all I can say about it.

Andy Gibson - Wanna Make You Love Me
This guy's voice has about as much grit as greased plastic. Sissy crap. I guess Andy noticed that Chuck Wicks wasn't on the scene and decided to jump into his namby-pamby slot. Wait, that sounded homo-erotic. Sorry, this utterly sucks. Jimmy Wayne could pound this guy into submission.

Levi Hart - We All Make Mistakes
Sound like an Uncle Kracker song at the start. More middle-of-the-road radio ready country. I've heard this guy is good, but this song wouldn't bear that out. The chorus is very nearly catchy, but not quite. The guitar work sounds canned. Boring. 

Sugarland with Matt Nathanson - Run
Do I have to? I like some of Matt's music. Not this. Can't Sugarland write an actual chorus anymore? If it wasn't for all the caffeine I'd consumed today, I'd be gone by now. If Zzzz was a grade, I'd give it to this song. 

This song isn't anything special, but at this point, anything with an actual melody sounds like a masterpiece. This one has one. The lyrics are unspectacular but the tune makes this listenable. Coulda been a hit in the late 90's. Not sure about now.

Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup (Album Version)
This is the one with the naughty bits. Testicles and whatnot. I guess I have to actually nail down my feelings about this song now… I've been beating around the bush because I don't know. I like a lot of the stupid lyrics. The chorus irks me because it's decidedly ramshackle and tossed-off, but an earworm none-the-less. Uh, well… 

Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup (Vegetables - Explicit)
This is the one where "testicles" is replaced with "vegetables." That's dumb. In a song this flimsy, it's enough to knock off a grade.

Toby Keith - Red Solo Cup (Bleeped - Explicit)
This is the one where "testicles" is replaced with "whoop!" Even dumber. 


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