Showing posts with label John Conlee. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Conlee. Show all posts

Aug 31, 2022

Country Music Fantasy Football Team Names 2022

Haven't done these in a while so here we go, with help from Twitter pals. The ones not attributed are by yours truly, Trailer. 


There Stands the Kupp


The Night They Drove McCaffrey Down


Jerry Reed Options @Misery_n_Gin


Cross Canadian Football League @lhcountryboy


Feathered Commanders


Shotgun Willie @ReadWatchDo


Why Ja’Marr in Here Looking Like That


Touchdown Troubadours @theadamdrake


Why Brady Why


Punt Flicker Pass @JWOutlaw13


Wagon Wheel Route (Adam Drake)


Lost Dak Street Band @TreyBlair33


Mike Evans & The Moonpies (Trey)


Turnpike Goin' For Twobadours @brianmather


Sunday Night Blues


Mammas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Deshaun Watson @FriendDevin


All the Gould in California


The Cody Wolves @Robberino


Cast No Picks


Delta Down @JonMDanforth


The Charles Wesley Go Routes @wilkins63


If Dick Butkus is Up, Why Am I Down


Lynyrd Pigskynyrd @DavidJoy_Author


Lost on 30 Akers


Shenandoah Checkdown @JArnoldTAMU85


Are You Sure Lombardi Done It This Way (Adam Drake)


Jason IsBall @RCHoyt34 


Tonight the Waddle Let Me Down


Streets of Lambeaufield @thatjohnhammond


Houston Oilers Marchman (LH Country Boy)


Sweet Dreams (of a W) @JenJenMichelle


I Will Make You Hurts


Wichita Offensive Lineman @ShawnC96WL


Drive-By Justin Tuckers (Shawn)


The Rita Ballou 42s @The_Reliant


Deebo & Lefty


Matt Stafford & The 400 Unit @mrbalusek


Townes Van Slant @knotts632


Kittle Bitty


Muscadine First Down Line @Western_Grunge


Chase Daniels, If You Please


Grieving, I’m a Jets Fan


Oct 7, 2020

Top 10 Biggest Jerks in 80s Country


Let’s dispense with the introductory paragraph. You know the deal by now. Jerks!

10. William Lee Golden (of the Oak Ridge Boys)
Had women who touched his beard arrested. When fans requested for him to ‘say something!’ In his deep voice, he just whispers “I’m not the deep voiced one, dumbass.” 

9. John Conlee
The former mortician talked about embalming bodies in great detail between songs in concert. Refused to perform “Rose Colored Glasses” until all the women on the front row showed their boobs. 

8. Juice Newton
First person to utter “country music has to evolve.” Once spit her gum in Crystal Gayle’s hair.

7. Lee Greenwood
Would only go onstage if he was announced as “His excellency, the most patriotic American to have ever lived.” Chews loudly; can’t stand the sound of other people chewing.

6. Hank Jr.
Hit on women with the line “Do you wanna be one of my rowdy friends?” Performed exactly 2 songs sober during the whole decade (this may be true). Used bandmates shirts when the tour bus ran out of toilet paper.

5. Rosanne Cash
Insisted on driving her own tour bus so she could tailgate Yugos. Dipped during interviews. Tour rider sheet only said “I’m not going to tell you; you should just know.” 

4. Mark Miller (of Sawyer Brown)
Frequently trashed his hotel room and had to be reminded that he owned the bus he was sleeping in. Came on stage with a forty ounce and threw the bottle into the crowd when it was finished. Sang a dirty version of “Out Goin’ Cattin’” if he noticed lots of kids in the audience. 

3. Mickey Gilley
Rode the bull at his bar on ‘easy’ level, but claimed to be the champ. Constantly clicked his pen at business meetings. Called George Strait a “Mickey Gilley wannabe” to his face. 

2. Janie Fricke
Referred to herself as the “Frickin’ Queen of Country.” Never returned casserole dishes she borrowed. Sprayed the crowd with Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers during her encore. Tipped hairstylists with unsold merch.

1. John Schneider
Open hand slapped a fan who said “for a country singer, you’re a pretty good actor.” In real life, always drove way under the speed limit. Ate Funyuns before every face to face interview. Accused Waylon of riding his coattails. Anyone he considered less attractive than him was instructed to maintain a 6 foot distance. 

LinkWithin

Related Posts with Thumbnails