Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Halloween. Show all posts

Sep 23, 2022

FGL House Now a Spirit Halloween

Nashville residents may recognize a familiar face in an unfamiliar place this week. Spirit Halloween, the spooky holiday’s most famous franchise, opens up shop in the former FGL House Friday, though some of the accoutrements of the former bro-country bar still remain. 

“We didn’t have to do a lot, the place is already pretty terrifying,” laughed franchise owner Sparky Suggs. “The moose head, the antique light fixtures, the haunting scent of Axe, the ghosts of hookups past… all we had to do was add the Halloween products.”


The 4-story brick building in Sobro has been the home of boozy duo Florida-Georgia Line’s branded bar and grill for the past several years, but no more. The duo recently began what they’re calling a hiatus, but which everyone else sees as the end of the formerly popular “butt rock of country” act. The immediate closure and sale of the building seems to lend credence to this opinion. 


“We come up from Cumming just to go to the FGL House and bout sh** ourselves. It’s a damn Halloween store now?” complained tourist Kelly Patridge. “We got one of them in the old co-op, I coulda stayed my ass home.”


Suggs certainly understands the concerns over the sudden shift, but he hopes many of the mullet-headed or tube-top-wearing FGL fans who show up will stick around and grab an LED dancing zombie or a sexy Fireball bottle costume. “You’re already here, so you might as well pick up some crap you needed for Halloween anyway,” laughed Suggs. 


One drunken customer didn’t seem to notice the change and was seated at one of the bars (now a booth for custom airbrushed trick or treat bags) trying to order a Jagerbomb from the confused artist. “He’ll figure it out eventually,” said Suggs, shaking his head.


At press time, Brian Kelley was sneaking in to retrieve his Kid Rock autographed beer bong he left in a storage closet.


Oct 28, 2020

Oct 27, 2020

What Your Country Jack O'Lantern Says About You

 (okay, one's not country, sue me)


Huge Hardy or Morgan Wallen fan lives here. Will mad dog you if you look them in the eyes. Peaked in 10th grade (second try).

Garth Brooks

Will hand out the blandest candy in the neighborhood. May have bodies buried under the back porch. 


Danzig

Owns a lot of cats. Won’t actually sacrifice you to Satan, but that will be your first thought when you see them.


Kane Brown

Owner lost. Grab your own candy. 


Bama

Homeowner did not go to college. Loves Jason Aldean. Married cousin.


Carrie Underwood

Someone who speaks to a lot of managers lives here. They’re handing out raisins to trick-or-treaters.


Cody Jinks

One cool motherf**ker lives here!


Oct 22, 2020

Hocus Pocus Country Reaction Gifs

When your sisters think country music only exists if it's on the radio
 

When somebody politely invites you to listen to Kane Brown with them

Luke Bryan:

So, how was that new Sturgill album?

When you tell someone you love country music and they start talking about how much they love Sam Hunt

Every time I look at the country charts

Anybody excited about the CMT Awards

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