A little rhyming advice for you peeps this morning. In country music, rhyme is relative. Never worry with coming up with an actual strong line to follow another good line, just make sure they rhyme no matter how you have to mangle the English language. Hell, make up your own accent and pronounce the word like a drunk redneck with a lisp who's been hanging around his friends from Boston too much. Whatever works, boss. For example, if your important line is "she was drinking a beer with those cut-offs on," you can make sure it rhymes with this line: "her tan legs reflectin' on my jacked up Ford," if you sing "on" like "awwwn" and then pronounce "Ford" like an old plantation owner… like so: "fawwd." See, it's just that easy. Nobody will even notice. Nobody gives a damn, quite frankly. Near-rhyme, schmear-rhyme… you can rhyme anything if you're plastered enough when you write the song. One time I heard Alan Jackson rhyme "cell phone" with "carburetor." And it worked! If he doesn't give a shit, why should I? This ain't no Romper Room or nursery rhyme time, be a damn grown-up and use a little ingenuity. Show me a man who's ever once used a rhyming dictionary while he was writing a song, and I'll show you a man who's bussing tables at the IHOP to finance his crappy demo CD. Truth. Live it, love it or just bite me.
*not actually written by John Rich.
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