May 29, 2013
Single Review: Blackjack Billy - The Booze Cruise
"The Booze Cruise." The title alone alerts you that this song is likely not a cover of some unearthed Townes Van Zant gem. That's cool, fun songs are just fine. I can't listen to ALL depressing Americana, so a little levity is appreciated from time to time.
This song is also irredeemably stupid. I suppose dumb songs are okay too. AC/DC lyrics will never be mistaken for Shakespeare and I love 90% of their songs.
It's when you combine fun, stupid and unoriginal that problems arise for me. "The Booze Cruise" nails all three with aplomb. Blackjack Billy is Florida-Georgia Line with more dudes and a less identifiable sound. If that sounds enticing to you, I have to ask: Why are you here?
Let's tackle the lyrical content. You know how people always used to say "I think I just threw up in my mouth?" (If you're still saying it, please stop). Anyway - I actually did feel a bit queasy listening to this. Even though I was in the comfort of my own home, I had to look around and make sure nobody caught me listening to it. I turned off my Last.fm scrobbler so it would not be recorded that I ever listened to this excrement. But I did.
And I heard lyrics like: "Booze cruise, summer groove, I wanna see your booty move" and "Who wants to do a body shot off a string bikini/We call that a hillbilly martini." Seriously. They're just making up shit, right? They call it a hillbilly martini because it rhymes with bikini, but nobody has ever said that in the history of ever. Also, there are hotties (which is misspelled in the OFFICIAL lyric video!), flip flops, a pontoon, "get some," "it's going down" and "redneck margarita."
There is also a 16 year old on the Booze Cruise. I'm sure she's drinking virgin redneck margaritas though, so it's all good dawg.
This song is misogynistic. It's unoriginal. It will lower your IQ by 20 points in two minutes and fifty-one seconds. Larry Lee would say it's hedonistic, and he'd be right. Let it be said now that anyone who utters the words "it can't get any worse" is flat out wrong. It can and will and just did.
One more thing, in the video that follows, a long haired 50-something on a beach "plays" Blackjack Billy's song on his jam box that clearly has no cassette in the deck. Dear Lord. The stupid must hurt.