John Rich's Songwriting Tips #68

There's a lot of talk about too many "truck songs" and drinking songs lately. People who should mind their own damn business and go get laid are saying Nashville produces too many songs with the same themes. So what, butt-itcher? If they're making that cold hard cash, ain't no need in changing course. You're just jealous! BUT, and that's a big but (I'm a fan of big buts), if somehow those people are correct and things are starting to get a little stagnant and overdone around here, I have a solution. To avoid the over-use of words like truck and tailgate, here are some other words songwriters can use to convey to the listeners that they are in fact talking about a truck without saying "truck": floorboard, bed, AIRRAID, toolbox, Raptor, step-side, lifted, Ram, bed rails, bed liners, bed caps, bed rail caps, step plates, bed protectors, stake pocket covers, tie down, handle covers, chrome pillar trim, door edge guards, F-250, dust-guard, Maxxis, bumper guides, bull bar, runner bar, Nitto, light bar, grille guard, push bar, Daystar, roll bar, nerf bar, running boards, tube steps, step bar, Mickey Thompsons, IONs, taillight guard, roll pan, rocker panel, hitch cover, truck nuts, hood scoop, bug deflector, hood guard, mud flaps, skid plates, dually, fender, bumper cover, mudders, Dick Cepeks, swampers, grapplers, grabbers, boggers, air dam, Supercrew, crew, Supercab, cab, bench, Hemi, Smittybilt, WARN, winch, hydraulic, HiLites, Skyjacker…. whew. I could go on, but just shoot me a Tweet if you want more. I know I mentioned drinking songs too. You should bone up on words other than "cold one," "beer" and "shine" to let your dumbass listeners know you're singing about drinking. I would provide some handy-dandy descriptions and synonyms for ya but I've got some drinking of my own to do, bitches. Now go forth and prosper or whatever.

*Not actually written by John Rich.