Jan 20, 2017

Album Review: Upchurch - Chicken Willie

I ran a poll on Twitter last week to 'force' me to review an album. I threw this in on a lark. This was the choice I hoped wouldn't win, but then, I knew it probably would because y'all just wanna see me talk trash. Okay then, let's see how this goes.

Upchurch, Upchurch the Redneck, Ryan Upchurch… comedian, hick-hop rapper. His most recent album (on Spotify) is titled Chicken Willie. The cover features Mr. Upchurch proudly presenting a prized farm fowl. On a surface level alone, this is far more interesting than 99.9% of the other hick-hop album covers I've seen. It shows a uniqueness and a willingness to stand out from the posing-with-muddy-trucks crew.

As country rappers go, Mr. Upchurch is uh, not the most inferior. I know that's like saying he's one of the taller midgets  little people, but it is what it is. His flow is not bad. He doesn't rap like he's got a mouth full of Red Man or chicken wings or Keystone like most hick-hop dudes. Basically what I'm saying is that he doesn't sound like a fat honky (I can say that; I'm a non-skinny honky). By no means is he in the realm of talent of say, Yelawolf, but on rapping ability alone, he's head and shoulders above most in his genre.

The songs lean a bit more toward hop than hick. The vocals are front and center and the beats are loud and staccato. It gets pretty tiresome. There's plenty of acoustic guitar and banjo down in the mix, but mostly it's more table dressing than side dish.

The title track is a statement of purpose, if that purpose is saying he's a redneck, white-trash, hillbilly. Mr. Upchurch brags about being the realest motherf**ker, being higher than a tree stand, and being uh, Chicken Willie. There's not much more to it. Not sure how he got the nickname - perhaps from having a 'special' relationship with the cover model chicken?

By the next track, it's clear that's all this album is about. The bragging, not the forbidden love. He's baiting his haters to "come and get it." "It" is a blast from a shotgun, apparently. I'm a little worried about this review now.



There's lots of stuff about trucks and fighting and never turning down and drinking and girls and that really covers most of it. Throughout this album, Mr. Willie has warned me to avoid his neck of the woods and after this review (and even before) I'm likely to heed his cautions.

There's at least a minor improvement from other hick-hop lyrics in this mess of threats and posting up. There's a hint of humor, some traces of self deprecation, and a few interesting turns of phrase. Upchurch is again, one of the honor students at his school for morons.

Basically, I wish I hadn't put this album on the poll. I'd rather review the best of the best or the lowest garbage in existence. It's hard to appropriately hate on Upchurch's album because I've heard so much worse. That said, I still can't stand hick hop. Until they make better use of country instrumentation and songwriting, and until the bulk of the "rappers" don't sound like it's a hobby they dabble in on breaks at the pawn shop, it's just not for me, dawg.

But you know, if you're into crap, Chicken Willie is at the very least, one of the less offensively stinking dog turds. Please don't shoot me with a 20 gauge, mister chicken f***er.

20 comments:

  1. Upchurch is one of the best artists out. Chicken Willie is a reference to his grandfather who was Chicken Willie. This review means shit. I'm actually wasting my time commenting just like I did reading the review

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    Replies
    1. No doubt! This is one idiot's opinion

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    2. Review by a hater that knows his place.."Another motherfucker standing in my way, if I die tonight at least I know I never ran away."

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    3. Exactly this mfers dumb af #rhec #chreeksquad

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    4. Exactly, dude has no idea about Ryan. Best out there.

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  2. Upchurch is one of the best artists out. Chicken Willie is a reference to his grandfather who was Chicken Willie. This review means shit. I'm actually wasting my time commenting just like I did reading the review

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  3. Upchurch is a joke and a waste of air. This type of if you want to call it music is title garbage. The people following this douche bag need help and have no taste. Don't come to my neck of the woods lol this punk would get slapped down. Descrace to rednecks and country folk.

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    1. guess thats why he out sold every one who is in his genre im a certfied red neck and he hasnt disgraced me one bit u aint going to slap any one down u clown

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    2. I would run your ass over in my northern chevy Silverado...sorry church, I love you but chevy is better, I know you like your ford's even if you dont say it in your amazing music.

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    3. Apparently you got some bullshit taste in music if you don’t like Upchurch. You big dummy

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  4. Upchurch says what's real. He is straightforward and speaks his mind. His music is great and is legit. It's pretty sad how you wanna say all that shit about him....did you even bother to pay attention to every word?

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  5. I love upchurch You don't really understand what he is talking about because you are not from redneck and from the holler.

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    Replies
    1. False. I’m a redneck from the bluffs of the Mississippi. I just don’t care for his music. (It’s better than most country rappers though)

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  6. I skipped most of this bullshit article just to get to the real reviews, which were located in the responses from the people who had to stomach this horrible example of an album review (on a pitiful excuse for a review website, might I add).

    I honestly believe that dipshits like the one who wrote this article shouldn't have access to technology, writing utensils, oxygen, or the general public. He should permanently be removed from society for his inability to formulate a legitimate opinion, his lack of common sense and his obvious substandard intelligence. Maybe our "higher power" will do us all a favor and place this idiot in the middle of a busy intersection, just as a tractor trailer hauling fresh cow manure runs him down in broad daylight. If he's too stupid to comprehend the obvious, he will never see that truck coming and we can rid the world of one more useless piece of shit.

    Furthermore, I hope he has the opportunity to read my reply so that he can see exactly how people feel about him and his 4th grade level writing assignment. However I do want to thank him for helping me realize that if morons like him can write trash like this and believe that it is accurate... maybe, just maybe, I could have a future in creative writing and assessing the talent of artists like Upchurch. As a matter of fact, I'd like to thank this fucktard for motivating me to do so. I think I'll start my own website dedicated to writing reviews based on my opinion of up-and-coming talents and their work. If this product of a broken contraceptive can write worthless columns like this, I'll be winning a Pulitzer Prize for my work for sure!

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Upchurch is a great artist. I don't care who hates my comment. #creeksquad

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