Relative Size Chart #22

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Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio August

I'm a little late on this month's release, but better late... (click the links for a video or song sample)

The JaneDear Girls - Wildflower

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the female Rascal Flatts. Oh wait, that was SheDaisy. Well, the JaneDears are in that neighborhood anyway. Wildflower is kinda catchy, overly bouncy, too pop, way too generic. The song sounds like it was written by a professional pop songwriter who's never actually spent more than a week in the country. (cue the commenter who actually knows the writer, who's lived in Bucksnort, AR all his life and has more country in his pinkie finger than I have in my whole body)

D

Billy Currington - Pretty Good at Drinking Beer

Depending on your perspective, this is either a lovable loser anthem built for the dog days of summer... or it's a repetitive tune about a lazy jackass. I'm somewhere in the middle, leaning towards the former.

B-

Leean Rimes - Swingin'

A lot of critics and bloggers are loving this bouncier cover of John Anderson's 80's classic. Not this one. It's not bad, it just doesn't relate to me on any sort of emotional level.

C

Lady Antebellum - Our Kind of Love

Lady A has played it way too safe since their breakthrough hit and this continues the trend. Good enough, but they're capable of so much more.

C

Bo Bice - Take Yourself With You

Bo's warm, Travis Tritt-like voice is well suited for country, but it seems Bo is using the same songwriters Tritt's been using for the past 10 years. This is like putting (Nascar champ) Jimmie Johnson in a hatchback for the next Nextel race.

D+

Stealing Angels - He Better Be Dead

Holy crap. Don't date this girl! Don't flirt with this girl! And especially don't have a one night stand with this girl! The spite dripping from this song makes Jaron's "Pray For You" sound like a lullabye. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say this is kind of an answer song to that one, in attitude anyway. And women wonder why men have commitment issues. Besides that, this is at best a C-rate country song. But it grades out at:

D

Kevin Fowler - Pound Sign

Catchy, semi-clever novelty song that will wear out its welcome in coming weeks.

C+

Miranda Lambert - The House that Built Me (Acoustic)

Perfection delivered a little more simply. If the original doesn't win a Grammy, a CMA, a CMT, an AMC, a People's Choice, an Oscar (okay, not that one)... something's wrong.

A

Darren Kozelsky - Somebody Find Me a Preacher

My opinion of this song is surely tainted by hearing Trace Adkins' earlier rendition of it. Darrin's version comes off quite a bit more lifeless. It's still a good song, but the performance is underwhelming.

C-

Blackberry Smoke - Good One Comin' On

Normally a song about partying that includes a line "keep this party rocking till the break of dawn" would get an instant D or less grade from me, but "Good One Comin' On" is catchy and there's a strong "it" factor radiating from this track. It should get a fair look from radio programmers. Bonus points for the Ray Wylie Hubbard mention.

B

Julianne Hough - Is That So Wrong

Julianne turns toward more "adult" material with this tune and her new album. What I think she meant is "adult contemporary." Bore.ing. Video's nice though! (Put that rolling pin away, Mrs. Trailer)

C

Frankie Ballard - Tell Me You Get Lonely

Simple, catchy and well sung. Possible hit, but the field is crowded. (side note: I didn't know there were still people who went by "Frankie" and weren't gangsters; is Frankie's girlfriend named Florence?)

B-

Toby Keith - Trailerhood

I was expecting the worst after hearing Josh Turner's crappy song with the same title a couple years back, figuring for TK's take on the same. I was happily surprised to be proven wrong. While this is still mostly a listing song telling the virtues and vices of living in a mobile home park, there's a friendly joy in this song that makes it more of an engaging experience than an amusing museum piece.

B+

Billy Currington Parody

Please note that this is a satire as well as a parody.

For Rick...

That's How Obamavoters Roll #tcot

(Parody of Billy Currington's "That's How Country Boys Roll")

They wake up in the morning and they drink their soy latte

Flip on CNN faster than a Mazeratti

On the way to work they might stop by Trader Joe's

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Yeah, they beg, beg, beg, all week till the grant gets done

Weekends they burn down churches while munching scones

They run on a bleeding heart and worship Al Gore

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Chorous

Yeah, they’re cursing God's will

Spreadin' vile filth

From their downtown loft abodes

Singin' Streisand

Might wed a man just because you think it's gross

From Baldwyn to Glover to Ellen and her lover

Total deviance is their goal

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Verse 2

Well they've got to spread the wealth aroud

They'll levy a tax

And if you're broke and you ask

They'll give you the shirt off my back

All they need is a bill to pass

A few dollars to blow

That's how Obamavoters roll

Chorous

They like to kill babies

Ban cuttin' trees

And turn us into Mexico

Singin' Streisand

Might wed a man just because you think it's gross

Politically correct, hating Limbaugh and Beck

Socialism is their goal

That’s how Obamavoters roll

Pelosi!

Yeah they’re whinin' out loud

Leftist and proud

They love Karl Marx but not "Going Rogue"

That's how Obamavoters roll

Don’t you know