52nd ACM Awards Drinking Game

I just updated the one originally posted 

APR 6, 2014

From the Archives: White Trash Wishlist

Originally posted December 20, 2013

Lyrical Satirical: White Trash Wishlist

White Trash Wishlist

©2013 FTM Lyrics

A shortened parole

Mint Grizzly, ten rolls

And a new pair of rebel flag boots

A Skeeter for fishin'

A Brazzers subscription

And the rest of my barbed wire tattoo

This here's my white trash wish list

If Santa can't find it all

I'm cool with some lottery tickets

And a carton of black menthols

A triplewide home

A truck painted chrome

A deer stand three stories high

A whiskey buzz n'

A frisky cousin

And jeans with a velcro fly

This here's my white trash wish list

If Santa can't find all them

I'm cool with some fake viagra

And a box of cajun Slim Jims

Bridge

I don't mean to sound greedy

Santa, I'm just a good ol' boy

Really ain't nothin' I'm needing

Just a few things I really enjoy

(Like)

A new pair of jorts

A trip to Pigeon Forge

A Boone and Crockett on my wall

A sexy back rub

In a fancy hot tub

Slap full of grain alcohol

Yeah, this here's my white trash wish list

If Santa can't find it all

I'm cool with some lottery tickets

And a carton of black menthols

Merry Christmas y'all!

From the Archives: The Scotty McCreery on the Shelf Collection

Since we're not doing these anymore (a real life tragedy always seems to happen 

that makes their comic violence seem very inappropriate), here's the unabridged collection of 

FTM's  Scotty McCreery on the Shelf posts. Originally posted on various dates.

 

 

From the Archives: How Does Willie Afford All That Weed?

ORIGINALLY POSTED FEB 7, 2012

How Does Willie Afford All That Weed?*

(Please don't take this as a complete list, I got tired of collecting hits albums and imports... there were more...)

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*This was over two years ago, so he's probably released 15 more since then...