Drunk old men in bars = our greatest philosophers?

This is a satirical lyrical take on all the "old man/drunk old man in a bar imparts great knowledge upon a young man having love troubles" songs. I'm looking at you "People are Crazy."

What the Old Man Said

Was on the outs with my lady
So I checked myself into a bar
Ordered up a seven and seven
Set fire to a Cuban cigar
Old drunk struck up conversation
Asked "What are you here to forget?"
So I told him of all my problems
And this is what the old man said

These days I wear diapers
Cause I can't hold it in
Spongebob is my hero
Sweet taters make me grin
Women, they's all bitches
Now Jack Daniels is my girl
I believe in UFO's
Oh, think I'm gonna hurl

I pondered on his thoughtful words
Smiled at the wisdom therein
Ordered up a seven and seven
For my philosophical friend
He talked the new world order
And how he wished his name was Ted
Then I noticed a tear in his eye
And this is what the old man said

I like to play Atari
Global cooling is a scam
Yes I wear a Speedo
When I slice deviled ham
Jack Ingram is my savior
Could you scoot your stool up close?
Penis rhymes with Venus
Would you butter my rye toast?

Bridge
I never saw that old man again
Till the day I heard he was dead
He'd left me a note, some nugget he wrote
And this is what the old man said

"Bye"

©2009 Corey Parkman

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Country Day Bonus Track and a Sneak Peek

Here's a first.... a reader submitted parody cover! Ten Pound Hammer gets the cred for this 'un - thanks TPH! After that is a screen shot of my "new covers" folder that shows a sneak peek of country days to come. Fun Fun Fun!

Country Day: August

Reba Parody

This Friday is Country Day: August featuring 17 new parody covers which include Gloriana, Rascal Flatts and Brad Paisley. For today, here's a lyrical parody of Reba's "Strange."

Skank

(Parody of Reba's "Strange")

He rolled out feelin' good about himself

His Ed Hardy t-shirt

True Religion jeans, yeah pimped out

At the spot with his good friends, chasin' some sex

Jager for starts

Had a fine lady befriended

He got himself a piece

Proud of himself until the a.m.

Skank, talk about suck, he woke up

With a ho' beside him

Skank, he better see the doc, have a talk

Get a test to see if he's contagious

He got tanked, drunk lust

Skank

Thinks he lost his mind to spend the night with that wreck

He damn sure regrets it

She smells like Camels

And her tattooed face ain't quite as sexy

As it was last night

After way too many drinks

Chained and pierced, this can't be good

Better get lost, he's wasting time

Skank, talk about suck, he woke up

With a ho' beside him

Skank, He better see the doc, have a talk

Get a test to see if he's contagious

He's ashamed, so much

Skank

Skank

Skank, talk about suck he woke up

With a ho' beside him

Skank, he better she's contagious

He got tanked, drunk lust

Skank

Skank, talk about scared he woke up

With a wild coyote

Skank, skank