John Rich's Songwriting Tips #36

Puns are stupid. Unless you're 8... or a country music fan. Since the latter idiots pay for the Captain Morgan in my elevator, I keep a few joke books around to toss in some dumbass wordplay every now and then. If it makes big Bertha in Birmingham giggle through her tooth while her dirty youngsters watch Fartknocker and Ferb on the minivan's LCD, who the hell am I to tell her she's a moron? Yeah, your ex-husband was always off drinkin' and fishin' because he's a largemouth ass, chuckle chuckle fatty! Keep hitting the "$1.29 BUY" button on the iTunes and I won't judge your low humor standards... uh, again.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Singer/Songwriter Parody Album Covers

Country Doppelgangers IV

Bucky Covington and Johnny Van Zant, if not doppelgangers, could at least be son and father

First name: Jaron, Last Name: and the Long Road to Love & Peter Brady (Christopher Knight) (thanks Rita!)

Kristian Bush, devious Sugarland sideman and Russell Hantz, devious Survivor contestant

Terri Clark and Xena: Warrior Princess

Yep.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

RIP to a true music legend, Ronnie James Dio, formerly of Black Sabbath and his own band as well as several others. He had one of the best voices in rock and seemed to be (in the interviews and live footage I saw of him) a genuinely good guy.

Nineteen Somepin' (Mark Wills parody)

Here's a parody of an older hit, Mark Wills' "19 Somethin'" from a true redneck's point of view.

Nineteen Somepin’

Saw Smokey’n the Bandit ‘bout eight times
Had the words to ‘Convoy’ memorized
And I've seen the stuff they put inside...
Cheech and Chong (yeah)
I was Archie Manning in my backyard
Had a beercase full of wrasslin’ cards
And a couple of Buford Pusser scars
On my right arm.

I was a kid when Nixon lied
And my momma cried...

It was nineteen seventy somepin'
In the world that I growed up in
Richard Petty hairdo days
Molly Hatchet on eight track tapes
Lookin' back now get’s me pukin’
Oh man, did I act stupid
But I wouldn't trade them days for nothin'
Yeehaw, it was nineteen seventy-somepin'.

It was the dawning of the 80’s now
We got our first trailer house
Mama broke down and
Finally shaved them old sideburns off
I got me a Jam box Stereo
Watched them Friday Night Videos
My first love was Missy Jo
On that Hee Haw show.

In 83’ Slim Pickens died
I welled up and cried...

It was nineteen eighty-somepin'
In the world that I growed up in
Cold Schlitz and jacked up trucks
Mullet heads fightin’ with brass knucks
And lookin' back now gets me queezy
Oh man, did I look sleazy
But I wouldn't trade them days for nothin'
Oh it was nineteen eighty-somepin'.

Now I'm in prison till 2013
My 6 kids are missin’ me
And I wish...
Sometimes...

It was nineteen eighty-somepin'
In the world that I growed up in
Motley Crue and gettin’ laid
Acid washed jeans at the arcade
And lookin' back now gets me pukin’
Oh man, did I act stupid
But I wouldn't trade them days for nothin'
Whoo, it was nineteen eighty-somepin'