3 Texas Parody Album Covers

Justin Moore says

Hellbound Glory - Damaged Goods

Hellbound Glory's new album, Damaged Goods, is out today and you better buy it (here!). The boys have retained all the swagger and grit of their previous release, Old Highs and New Lows, but shock of shocks.... they've matured.

Oh, they haven't wiped their repertoire of drug references, attitude and guilty pleasure hooks, but they've grown as a band. Their already solid songwriting has gotten tighter. Their musical chops have gotten stronger... and their passion for the music only seems to be burning hotter.

Thankfully, the band has also held onto their dark (but somehow not particularly depressing) worldview. Junkies chase their habit into the sunset because that's what they're hellbent on doing. Women leave because that's what they do. We're just left to drink about it, and though there may be some self-pity mixed in, it's always a fully enjoyed self-pity.

The highlights of the album for me are lead single "Better Hope You Die Young," a warning that hard living isn't conducive to long life, and "Gonna Be a Goner," a catchy woe-is-me toe tapper with an earworm chorus.

"Knocked Off the Horse" is the track that sticks with you, though. It presents the case in matter-of-fact storytelling, that some drug addicts are just destined to let their dependence kill them and there's nothing you can do about it. It's an uncomfortably edgy take on the subject that paints the druggie as almost a heroic figure. It's a breath-taking tune.

Grab this album now if you like stone country with a modern bent and an unfiltered look at the seedier side of life. <---cliche but true

Damaged Goods is a gem.

Sackpunch #15: Chris Brown Apologists

Every Chris Brown Apologist Deserves a Sackpunch

CHRIS BROWN IS A LEGEND This nonsensical phrase was trending on Twitter for most of the day yesterday. While the merits of the statement can't even be argued rationally (can anyone who isn't a rabid fan even name more than 3 of his songs?), the reasons anyone would harbor such a thought can. However, I'm not here to discuss the psychoses of these mind-addled folks. I'm here to deal out hard facts, namely….

Every Chris Brown apologist deserves a sackpunch. All of you.

The man doesn't sing live very often in concert. Oh yeah, that's because he's dancing so much, you'll say. Yep, that's because he's ripping off Michael Jackson moves so much. And according to reports, he's playing to a lot of empty seats lately. Legend?

Musically, he's not exactly breaking any new ground. He's R&B lite-pop. He's had a total of two (2) #1 Billboard hits and those were in his first two years on the charts. None since. Legend?

Does anything in the last two paragraphs seem like enough to elicit the sort of passionate defense Chris Brown receives from his supporters? See examples:

@MissIgho

Chris Brown = The best there is + Can do no wrong. Please deposit ur opinions in ur bumbums. Thank u.

@BozanneNev

CHRIS BROWN IS A LEGEND end of. #teambreezy, die haters.

@BlazingxStar

People are still not over the fact that Chris Brown hit a woman. Omg he made a mistake. It was YEARS ago. Grow up people -_-

Is there this much passion for other artists with similar followings/styles/success? Besides maybe Usher, who has three #1 albums and nine #1 singles, no. So what is it? Hmmm.

Could it be? Noooo. But maybe… just maybe… this passion could be due to the elephant in the room that I haven't mentioned?

February 8, 2009, Chris Brown assaulted then-girlfriend, R&B megastar Rihanna. From then on, the opinion on Brown has been divided as far as east from west. Former fans without daddy and trust issues and people with IQ's above 95 have given him the finger. The remaining fans have gone all in. And off the deep end.

It's a love-fest and a blind one at that. It's a peculiar addiction. Mostly though, it's constant defense of an indefensible action.

"Eminem hit his wife. Charlie Sheen is an abuser. That was years ago. He made a mistake." Excuses excuses.

I won't defend Eminem. Anyone who lays hands on a woman to hurt them is a sick person, period. So why has society in general pretty much overlooked Eminem's abuse? He's white. I'll admit that's a factor. He's sold millions of albums. Money talks. It's been a much longer period of years since Eminem's crimes. Time heals wounds. Also, culture is more likely to overlook someone's flaws when they are innovative, iconic artists.

That's why Charlie Sheen hasn't been forgiven.

"Years ago" Yeah, three. And since then, Brown has only continued to exhibit a pattern of behavior that leads one to believe he's capable of repeating his actions. He broke mirrors and windows at Good Morning America when asked about the Rihanna incident. He threw a temper tantrum outside a Vegas bar, breaking a bottle and calling a bouncer a fa**ot. He insinuated that another singer was a homosexual when that singer called him out for the Rihanna incident. YESTERDAY, he said critics were just trying to get in Rihanna's pants. At a recent place of residence, he allegedly defaced property, parked exclusively in handicapped spots and played music at high decibels all times of the night.

Intelligent people won't ever forget, but some might be more likely to forgive if Chris would behave like someone who regrets his past.

"HE MADE A MISTAKE!" Wrong, a mistake is backing into somebody at Target. Chris Brown punched, pushed, threatened to kill, choked and bit a woman. By mistake?

Look, I can see maybe, maybe, maybe grasping a woman a bit roughly at the shoulders during a heated argument. I've never done it, but I can see where that might be an expected response for someone more highly strung that myself. Not that it's the best way to handle the situation.

But punching… pushing her head into glass and biting? Biting? How does it come to that? It doesn't for normal human males. Period. All the anger management in the world doesn't remove that from someone prone to doing it. Chris needs some respect-of-females-management. Some home training...

I get it, apologists, you dig the bad boy. You've latched onto Chris and unless he's caught on camera urinating on an underage female, you've got his back forever (R Kelly fans will overlook it though). You'll fight, curse and maybe more for your obsession. The more we hate on him, the more you love him.

Brown is living off you right now. If it weren't for you loonies, he'd be another has-been by now. Deservedly so.

Have some respect for yourself and women. I don't care if you keep listening to him. I listen to music from some real shitheads. You won't catch me defending their actions though. So stop it. Just enjoy his tunes and go to his concerts and buy his t-shirts and shut up. The haters aren't going to, but as soon as you (and your hero) stop reacting to it, the past will have a chance to become just that.

Until then, brace yourself. This is going to hurt you a lot more than it does me.

Here's your SACKPUNCH!

(not literally, I wouldn't hit a woman or a mentally-challenged person)

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week