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From the Archives: Country B**ches

Originally Posted Aug 8, 2014

Lyrical Satirical: Country B**ches

If the bro's could have gotten away with it, I'm sure they'd have loved to write something like this....

Country B**ches

©2014 FTM Satire

She's a pair of shorts on a pair of legs

Dancing too close to the tailgate edge

She's a blonde haired blue eyed sexy thang

She's a late night text and a backseat bang

Lord I love them country b**ches

Them howdy y'alls in tiny britches

White girl wasted, weekend wreck

Buyin' us beer on daddy's check

Come around and scratch my itches

Lord I love them country b**ches

She's a big ol' rack in a tiny shirt

Crank some Hank and she can make it twerk

She's tan line teases and licking lips

She's a big ol' booty and a skinny dip

Lord I love them country b**ches

Them howdy y'alls in tiny britches

White girl wasted, weekend wreck

Buyin' us beer on daddy's check

Come around and scratch my itches

Lord I love them country b**ches

Bridge

She's a baby bump at sweet sixteen

Tenth grader in maternity jeans

She's a late night call saying it's mine

But I'm on to the next country girl in line

Lord I love them country b**ches

Them moneymakers in tiny britches

White girl wasted, weekend wreck

Fake phone numbers, names to forget

Come around and scratch my itches

Lord I love them country b**ches

John Moreland, Will Johnson, etc to Play Chris Porter Fundraiser

 Chris was a good guy and a friend of Farce the Music. Please attend this if you're able!

 

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ALL-STAR CAST OF AMERICANA ARTISTS TO PLAY FUNDRAISER FOR POSTHUMOUS RELEASE OF CHRIS PORTER'S FINAL ALBUM


"It's Gonna Get Weird Without You" 
A benefit ft. Alejandro Escovedo, Will Johnson, John Moreland, Aaron Lee Tasjan,
The Mastersons, John Calvin Abney, Shonna Tucker & more

Dec. 11, Austin, TX @ C-Boys Heart & Soul

In the wake of the tragic passing of Austin, TX, musician Chris Porter (and his Bluebonnet Rattlesnakes bandmate Mitchell Vandenburg) this October, Porter's friends and musical admirers are now gathering for the worthiest of causes—raising funds to help finish and release his brilliant final album, Don't Go Baby It's Gonna Get Weird Without You. Join them Dec. 11 at C-Boys Heart & Soul in Austin, TX, to celebrate the life of this beloved, unsung hero of the Americana underground. The evening will feature a silent auction and performances from Alejandro Escovedo, Will Johnson (Centro-matic, Monsters of Folk), John Moreland, Aaron Lee Tasjan, Shonna Tucker (Drive-By Truckers), The Mastersons, John Calvin Abney, Sarah Green & Drew Carman. $30 advance, no hard tickets—will call at the door Doors @ 7:30pm,  21+

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