May 24, 2016

There's Been an Awful Murder



1 comment:

  1. *Sighs* Oh yes, something definitely happened, thanks to that soy boy standing next to George Strait in that bottom picture - Alan Jackson (aka Chad Robert Kroeger). Ya know, the guy who made country music (and us country fans) look dumb and ignorant, namely in his parody-level shit songs "It's Alright to Be a Redneck", "Where I Come From", "I Still Like Bologna", and, of course, that stupid 9/11-exploiting song (emphasis on "exploiting", given that he donated NONE of the proceeds made off of that stupid piece of shit to any of the families of 9/11 victims) where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran. And what about that "something" that happened? Oh, how traditional country sounds have been pushed out of mainstream country in favor of various non-country influences like rap, Chris Brown/Drake-style R&B, EDM, and 80's hair metal. And who's to blame for this? Why, the Nickelback of country music himself - Alan Jackson. This is the guy who we should thank for country music now grovelling to said non-country influences (especially rap), to the point where he has (out of all people) a rapper, Polow da Don, produce his music. The same rapper who produced Nicki Minaj's shitshow of a song "Anaconda", and has also worked with other fellow rappers like Chris Brown, Nelly, Gucci Mane, and Travis Scott. And those naive enough to go to his live concerts expecting to hear "real country music" (it fucking isn't) are going to be disappointed. It's no surprise that Jackson has a rapper as his producer, when his concert setists are littered with rap songs (alongside an ABBA song), namely:
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz
    * Tyga - Hookah
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Soulja Boy - I Got that Sauce
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Drake - Passionfruit
    * Offset - Ric Flair Drip
    * $uicideboy$ - VENOM
    * ABBA - Super Trouper
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    And as for that song mentioned in the bottom panel? Well, to add insult to injury, Jackson just had to mock country music traditionalists even more by, of all things, singing about his own crime on "Murder on Music Row". Of course, the braindead Alan Jackson fans take this as Alan Jackson "criticizing and calling out" the crap on modern country radio, when all it is is the country version of "I Killed Darnell Simmons" from Key and Peele's "Rap Album Confessions" video. And people still think that Alan Jackson is one of the last remaining "traditional country singers". My fucking ass; Alan Jackson and his shit songs (if you can even call them music) are as far away as you can get from traditional country, let alone country music. Western novels are more country than him.
    #AlanJacksonKilledCountry

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