Save your "Bluebird songs" for ... hell, don't write 'em. If it ain't broad enough to land a 757 on that sumbitch, it ain't worth the effort. Don't mess with cutesy stories, multi-syllabic rhymes... or multi-syllabic words for that matter. And complicated concepts never sold a record in Nashvegas baby. Let Gaydiohead tackle that crap. The only message I wanna convey is the one Lulu in Bessemer, Alabama wants to hear droning in the background of her puke green 1999 Nissan Quest while she's running to the Little Caesar's to pick up a nutritious supper for her three fat younguns. Always remember: KISS - Keep it simple sh*thead.
*Not actually written by John Rich.
This is the second edition of a new Farce the Music series entitled "An Illustrated Guide to the 31 Most Commonly Used Thematical Elements in Contemporary Country Music Songs" (or "31 Country Music Themes" for short). This is by no means an all-inclusive documentation of all the themes used in modern commercial country music... only 99.85% of it. I will post themes two to four at a time, usually once a week, until the list is complete. I hope you enjoy, and I hope your future listening enjoyment is ruined because you try to think of the exact corresponding theme and illustration every time you hear a song on country radio!
