Go out and live a little before you start writing. You gotta have a well of experience to pull the bucket up from. You know, kiss a few... hundred... young girls. Burn a few dozen bridges. Make some embarrassing comments on television and radio. Bust a few bottles over sumbitches' teeth. Humiliate and assault people who seek your attention. Alienate friends, associates and those living unnatural lifestyles. Then come back to your pen and paper and tell your story. STDs push MP3s, baby.
Not actually written by John Rich