.99 Review
LoCash Cowboys
"Fresh Off the Farm"
The People's Take
Alsome!!!!!!!$$$$$ (5 Stars)) – I can't believe they are not in the top iTunes list, but they do deserve it. They work so hard to get this far, I wonder wats goin to happen nxt wit them- go LoCash!!!!!
-by Gambet
Love these guys! (5 stars) – So excited to finally get some new LoCash!! I just love Fresh Off The Farm! If you've never seen these guys in concert, I highly recommend it! They rock down the house and are so friendly, too! They are just the best! Love you guys!
– by CheerCat35
My Take
So the saying goes: "You can't judge a book by its cover." I call B.S. The LoCash Cowboys are douchebags. Look at them (album cover at bottom of article). One guy's got the blu-blocker shades on and lots of bling, a Trent Tomlinson-issue dew rag, a carefully unkempt shirt and tie, ripped jeans, watch chain, manicured facial hair, the pursed lips kissy face and the two-gun salute. The other guy is similarly attired and displays the "yeah!" face with a one gun salute/"what up" sign. So, yeah, it's indisputable. Strike one.
Could we give 'em a pass if the music was good? No. But fear not, it's not. Good that is.
What really pisses me off about the song is that it's not bad by current Nashville standards. I'd hoped to make fun of the production values, because I'd heard a couple of songs from their self-released debut and it was charmingly awful. Not so now, what with Jeffrey Steele at the helm, they sound just like everybody else in Nashvegas. Like a PG-13 Rascal Flatts even. So, they robbed me of that angle for talking trash about them. Strike two.
I'm not going to actually review this song (do I ever?). All you need to know is that it sounds something like the aforementioned Rascal Flatts by way of Big & Rich's "Save a Horse..." and that the 'boys provide you with this handy-dandy checklist to cull potential girlfriends:
[ ] wears Daisy Dukes
[ ] wears cowboy boots
[ ] is cornfed
[ ] is fine as Ellie May
[ ] green as John Deere
[ ] has a hourglass figure
[ ] gets you high as a barn
[ ] can load shotgun
[ ] can fish
[ ] can milk a cow
[ ] is homegrown
[ ] is country fried
If your woman doesn't meet at least five of these criteria, it's time to seriously consider kicking her to the curb.
Or not.
Hey, Cowboys. Strike Three. You suck!
Total value: .09/.99
The Checklist
Church/God
Mama
BootsName Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
LoveHometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Pop Sheen
sure, but can they tell me how to supaman that cornfed gurl?
ReplyDeleteI don't know about you, but the mental picture of a cornfed woman loading a shotgun and wearing daisy dukes isn't so fresh.
ReplyDeleteAnd who the hell advised these guys to call themselves cowboys? Lo Cash or not, if they're cowboys, then so are Zac Efron and Nick Carter.
Let me say as I have seen these idiots go from dance instructors at the Wildhorse Saloon to this crap...They are just an act and have hardly one lick of talent. They just add to the current banch of narcassitic douchbags that just look trendy enough to get a record deal. Have seen that joke of a bus around town and just have to laugh at how much they think of themselves. Yeah...Sure they are saying "People Are Talking so that's good". Not so when they are saying how much of a joke you are. And I would be willing to bet those reviews are plants by whoever is sucking on the LowCash teet. Please let the crap stop rolling out of Nashville. It is just sad.
ReplyDeleteFat girls love 'em.
ReplyDeletejealous, jealous, jealous.... they are doing something right. They are tearing up itunes now... and the album and single isnt even out yet. So you to put down these guys and jeffrey steele, you have serious issues, and care so much to write on a dumb ass blog, to make you feel better in life, wow... Go back to your 10 dollar an hour job, and stay unhappy the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteYour comments will be removed later today due to the abusive language. I don't care what you say to or about me but I have to maintain some semblance of civility here. I salute the vets and military and I'm glad LC supports them. That makes them decent people, but it doesn't make them decent artists. I decline to fight someone who is so offended by words against their favorite band that they're willing to go to blows over them. Grow up. For the record: I like Jeffrey Steele. LoCasS not so much.
ReplyDeleteAhh - at last I find the root of the jealousy toward the LoCash Cowboys. After finding this site and seeing the ridiculous parodies portrayed on these pages I'm not going to waste my time on those who apparently have no respect for anyone in the music business. Nothing I've seen on here is amusing - only very crude and rude but I suspect this is the only level you can work on - so Sunshine - you just keep licking those windows! The rest of us in the LoCash "Family" of fans, and other fans of artists who are unwilling subjects of your rude blog will continue to enjoy the amazing talents of their individual artists despite your drivel.
ReplyDeleteNot familiar with irony, eh, Calamity?
ReplyDeleteThe stupidity of people never ceases to amaze me. I mean, SERIOUSLY, Calamity?
ReplyDeleteThey are just plain gross. I know some of the groupies that follow these guys around. They are all your typical bar whores that go around sleeping with Preston and the other dude. They come back to their job as a nail artist and talk about how they are going back to some godforsaken place in Kentucky to do it all again the next weekend. That aside...their music is really bad. It's like they put different lyrics to "She thinks my tractor's sexy" and call it a song. Really piss poor producing if you ask me. Just turn these bad songs out and maybe make a buck off of them. Hopefully the boys are making money because its that or the free clinic.
ReplyDeletethese guys are pretty bad. There music isn't real good, but unfortunately it sounds similar to some of this new country coming out these days. it is a shame to call them country and put them on the same playing field as Garth and George and Hank and Tim Mcgraw. to me it's just gimmick that couldn't make it in any other media of music and thought that if they tried country and sang about things country people sing about and dress real flashy, they'll make a splash. Remember cowboy troy? a bad rapper, but decided that if he raps about country and wears a hat, he can call himself a cowboy and not have to compete with real rappers? Brooks and Dunn and Montgomery Gentry have been around for ages and are still making hits. Since when do country "artists" call their music group a name that is A. misspelled B. refers to money or C. entitled cowboys? at least big and rich took their names big kenny and john rich and twisted it to form their name. These guys look like the jersey shore version of country
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine them being around for very long. Their flash might get people's attention for now, but their music isn't good enough to actually compete with real artists like brad paisley and keith urban and tim mcgraw and george strait and kenny chesney. you can't really make it very far in country if the country isn't in you. i can't imagine any real artist even wanting to be on the same stage as these guys, or the grand ole opry inviting them to perform ever. I'm not bashing their fans. but these guys really ruin the integrity of country music.
ReplyDeleteThey just suck and look like idiots...Thats it..Nothing else to say!
ReplyDeleteThey like this blog and seem pretty nice, so I'm laying off of them for a while.... but just for a while. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with alot of people here. THEY SUCK. Calamity Annie sucks on them. Just for the record not all fat girls love them. I can nto stand them. THEY SUCK!!!! Just an act and they treat their fans like shit. Unless you are cute and a size 2. They talk shit about all their fans. PLEASEEEE....they call the less desirables ducks. Then they act like they never said that. Well did you know that the owner of the record label is one of the lead singers uncle? Thats how they got their deal. PLEASE I call them NO trash! LoTrash Clown boys and so on.
ReplyDeleteOh becareful theyw ill sick their lotrash army after you like: Calamity Annie....she is the head clown!
ReplyDeleteI applaude this article...finally the truth is getting out there.
People!! Lets just see if they put out a second album...I highly doubt it,and for those of us that actually like real country music and not this fake crap we couldnt be happier.Man has country gone down hill lately letting jokes like this get a record deal.
ReplyDeleteWell for the record, there is no relative relation with the Label (no Uncle). Obviously, Locash Cowboys have hit a nerve with a few fans and not everyone is going to like everyone. The boys are probably one of the most entertaining groups I have seen perform live. I agree some of their music is not music I would buy. As for their vocals I think if they would focus more on the one who sings the lead vocals in Keep in Mind they just might have a chance. I believe these boys have worked hard and are good guys and have grown tremendously over the years. So some reviews here seem to just be jealousy and some just don't care for Locash .. but I know a lot of people don't care for Taylor Swift either ummmm I think we have heard of her.
ReplyDeleteThe LoCAsh Cowboys ROCK....I have known them for 7 years. They are very talented. For those of you who dont think so, well there new album is coming out in just a few days. They wrote "You Gonna Fly"- Keith Urban sings that...and they wrote "Truck Yeah"- Tim McGraw sings that. They have been on several TV shows and even had Kendra Wilkinson be in there "C.O.U.N.T.R.Y." video. they have made it pretty far over the years and there is plenty more to come. I'm proud to call them friends.
ReplyDelete