Nov 2, 2010

.99 Reviews: Jason Aldean - Dirt Road Anthem






Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist's .99 Review

Trailer asked me to take over one of his usual duties for this particular review. He shows a lack of commitment if you ask me, and this is a hallmark of indolence. On to the review...
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The Sinners' Takes
BG (3 Stars)
by Tabor Lee
hahahahahaha is that jason aldean's sorry cover for dirt road anthem? wow, not a bad album, but jason aldean just caint sing brantley gilbert or colt ford's songs. go ahead and steal someone else's songs.

Disappointed (2 Stars)
by Sarah Schroeder
The rest of (Aldean's new album) might be great but I really can't get past the fact that "My Kinda Party" and "Dirt Road Anthem" are not Jason Aldean's songs, they are originally sung by Brantley Gilbert, and much better I might add...
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My Testimony
This may be one of the most sinful songs I have yet reviewed for this "blog," (that's saying a lot since a previous song put me in the hospital for a weekend's stay - thank you for the cards and flowers!) and the fact that Mr. Aldean has, according to iTunes reviewers, actually stolen this song from a lesser known singer makes it all the more egregious. Really Jason? Haven't your other musical interpretations put enough of the root of all evil in your Wrangler pockets?? Are the countertops in your mansion not granite-y enough? Are your Viking appliances not applying to your satisfaction?

Aldean's greed and peculation aside, this song presents the listener with some iniquitous habits, literally and spiritually. The song opens with a chorus that teaches impressionable young country fans that drinking and smoking (while driving!!!) is an acceptable practice. Also, he makes reference to that wicked sinner George Jones, holding him up as some sort of miscreant role model.

As I know country music, gospel and bluegrass to be the only acceptable forms of musical expression in the eyes of the Lord, the verses of this "anthem" truly turn from the will of Holiness. Jason invokes the vilest trash of "music," by rapping the lines. I felt the slow turn of Satan's gaze upon my neck as Aldean "dropped some knowledge" on me about more devious doings in the late night hours of the rural south.

Jim, Jack, Marlboro, fornication, fighting, hell-raising... Aldean hits every country bullet-point on Hell's introductory brochure. But "I ain't hearin' that yo," and neither is God. I believe this country has lost its way and that this is another knock against the Father and that he soon may remove his hand of protection.

I feel certain this album cut from Aldean's new album will find its way to radio before long, as just another step in the Liberal Media's plot to pull the roots of country music and the good zealous country fans of the red states. I only pray that you are all prepared for the Judgment that will surely follow. When I hear the beat of this song, I hear the distant hoofbeats of four fearsome steeds.

Total Value: .00/.99

9 comments:

  1. I am not really sure if some of you have actually listened to Brantley Gilbert or not but I would rather listen to Jason Aldean any day over Mr. Gilbert's foul mouth. Thank goodness that Jason Aldean picked a song to cover that wasn't filled with cursing!

    As far as the judgement, Mr. Lee, that you have cast upon Mr. Aldean and the one's that like his music, or the so called "rural south" as you labeled us, shame on you. I guess that you are the "Perfect Christian"? I think not, only one human form walked this earth without sin. Shame on you for casting stones! Now, I just suggest that you just pray for all of us sinners that like Mr. Aldean and his music and others like him that keep us entertained. We could be listening to worse by all means.

    Besides, didn't your mother teach you that if you didn't have anything nice to say about someone that you should keep your mouth shut? I sometimes get a kick out people like you that think you can save everyone's soul from damnation and it is your job to judge everyone. You sir, need to stop. It is God's. You can't save anyone, only God can, and no one can be saved if they don't want to be.

    I am not sure if you were intending on this to be funny or what but religion isn't funny, and again, you need to stop.

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  2. I'm not even sure what's serious and not serious anymore on this blog, including the comments... but it's hilarious!

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  3. Baby Bobblehead Jesus on my computer desk wants Anonymous 7:53 to eat a big ol' bowl of dick.

    Seriously, he told me to type that.

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  4. the comment from November 4, 2010 7:53 AM is one of the funniest things ever. I love this site

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  5. Your all a bunch of D.A.'s, I agree with anonymous 7:35. But I'm not here to express my opinions about you idiots. I'm here to voice about his (jason aldean) music. I am in the south, and I listen to country music all the time, and I heard his song for the first time today and totally loved it. I have heard the version from colt ford. And I like it too. But seriously do you think a country station is going to play country rap?? Don't think so. So jason put it on.Sounds great to me. I hope it does do well out there. You good for nothing hypoctrits, need to shut the hell you. And as for you larry lee the hypocriticial baptist goto hell with the bible thumpin. Have a good night all

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  6. Rita Balloux is gonna burn in hell!

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  7. Love this song no matter who sings it. I really like the referances to drinking and smoking while driving. Its 100% american - which freedom and independence were born on

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  8. The song is brantley and colt remembering the good times they are not promoting nor saying u should drink and drive if u believe this you are dumb ^^^ there's nothing wrong with telling a story of how YOU grew up although stealing this just to make your wallet fatter is jus lame a real artist would respect brantley and give props for the songs he cut instead of claiming as his own

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  9. Jason didn't claim them as his own, he just decided to cut two songs he really liked, and although some of his fans like it, I agree with most others, saying he should sing new songs, because everybody has heard these two. And, it also made Gilbert's wallet pretty fat, too.

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