Feb 20, 2012

.99 Reviews: Lenny Cooper - Big Tires

The Peoples' Take:
(2 Stars)
Where is black and camo
by 755701General
Where I'd it dang

(4 Stars)
Black and camo
by Muddigger boyz#5
Where us black and cam

(3 Stars)
Black and Camo
by k,doff
I thought Black and Camo was on this album?
I really want this song.

My Take:
If Lenny Cooper had any hip-hop flow, the pathetic-ness of his lyrics might not be exposed so much. If Lenny Cooper had writing skills that produced lines better than "we take this serious, this ain't a game/it's trucks gone wild, man it's insane," his pedestrian flow might not be such an issue. If his voice were something remotely in need of being heard speaking about redneck stuff over dopey beats, both these things might possibly be overlooked. 

Unfortunately for Lenny Cooper, it's three strikes, you're out. There is nothing anywhere close to essential about this ode to monster truck tires and mudding. He's way too serious about having 54 inch tires and lift kits and truck shows to take him serious, even if his rap skills approached, say, Vanilla Ice. Yes, he's that bad.

I'll put it this way. He makes Colt Ford sound like Jay-Z. He makes Soulja Boy sound like 2Pac. He makes …me, sound at least as good as Soulja Boy. This man has no business behind a mic. Lenny Cooper is to rap what Garth Brooks is to anorexic. 

Lenny doesn't even have a bio on his record label's website.

I hate to bag on somebody who hasn't "made it" so to speak, but somebody out there thinks he's good enough to keep releasing his music… so, apparently somebody out there thinks he's good enough to purchase music from… so I have to let people know how bad he is. 

I'm doing Lenny a service here, dammit! He needs to know that there isn't a future in this. He needs to go back and get his GED. He needs to take a few courses at the vocational college. He needs to stop turning down overtime at the muffler repair shop. 

Rap isn't for you, Lenny. That's okay, buddy! It's not for me either and I've done just fine! I know you're trying to find your niche in the world. This is a journey every man and woman must take on their own. I'm just being helpful. Stop it, unfruitful ventures are not worth pursuing!

The song itself praises the virtues of …shit, just read the title. His Chevrolet can do all-nighters. He has the hammer down. He makes people say "Good Lord!" with his comically outsized mudders.

Hey, maybe that's your thing, Lenny. Open up a tire shop… a custom truck shop, sell accessories! Hell, you've already got a theme song! This could be big.

Your rap career, on the other hand… is just fodder for Farce the Music jokes.

Total Value: .20/.99 (it's worth 20 cents for unintentional humor, if nothing else)

The Checklist:
Hard Work
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Lost Love
Hometown/Country Pride
Kindly Advice
Check mark symbolTruck
Check mark symbolLife Affirmation?
Pop Sheen
Star Power


  1. I took the bait, and listening to that steaming pile's 4 minutes and 16 seconds of my life I shan't be getting back, alas. Rating it as worth even 20 cents seems awfully generous. How'd this mook get a label deal, anyway?!

  2. Yo,man,dawg,yo I gotsa say,these bitches are at least hotter than what Dierks Bentley has in his videos yo

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. I respect what you had to say, Lenny (before you deleted it). I'm not a fan, but I can't literally hate anybody who's willing to work hard to give his fans what they want to hear. Do your thing.



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