Oct 14, 2019

Not You, Bieber

1 comment:

  1. Funny, I see two talentless hacks who have no place being on country radio. There's Justin Bieber in the center, of course, and on the bottom left, there's the man who set the stage for a pop star like Justin Bieber being able to be played on country radio - the Nickelback of country music himself, Alan Jackson. Whereas at least those other non-country acts (besides Bieber and the Nickelback of country music) at least either were not released as country songs (especially in Willie Nelson's case) or were at least respectful of country music's roots and tried to sound country, Alan Jackson (the Nickelback of country music) is anything but. His "music" is a weird mix of hip-hop, hair metal, EDM, and Drake style R&B. Hell, it is none other than Jackson who can best be described as the inventor of bro-country (see "Chattahoochee", "Where I Come From", "Country Boy", and "Mexico, Tequila, and Me"), and it is Jackson who is also responsible for country music being the laughing stock that is has become today (look no further than "It's Alright to Be a Redneck", "I Still Like Bologna", "Jim and Jack and Hank", and especially that stupid 9/11-exploiting song where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran). These bro-country artists like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, Dan + Shay, Sam Hunt, and Kane Brown are basically just derivatives of Jackson. And speaking of hip-hop, Jackson's collaboration with Jimmy Buffett shown in the meme is nothing compared to those non-country songs (mostly hip-hop, along with R&B songs and an ABBA song) that Jackson covers in concert, specifically
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz ( video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFOtWpul3ZY )
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Drake - Make Me Proud
    * Waka Flocka Flame - Hard in da Paint
    * Shaquille O'Neal - (I Know I Got) Skillz
    * ABBA - Super Trouper
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    First, pop singer Bebe Rexha's collaboration with bro-country duo Florida Georgia Line broke a new record by spending 50 weeks at the number one spot on the Hot Country Songs chart, then bro-country singer Kane Brown's collaboration with EDM DJ Marshmello hit the number one spot on the same chart last week, and now bro-country duo Dan + Shay is releasing a new song with Justin Bieber. This is none other than the apocalyptic aftermath of what Alan Jackson, the Nickelback of country music, did to the genre. Despite some of his idiot fans, which mostly consists teenage suburban white girls who also listen to Drake (whom Jackson is influenced by and often covers in concert), touting his song "Murder on Music Row" as some sort of a commentary on non-country influence on modern mainstream country music (which he pioneered to begin with), to any self-respecting fan of real country music, "Murder on Music Row" is simply just the country version of Gun Rack's "I Killed Darnell Simmons" from Key and Peele's sketch "Rap Album Confessions". If Jackson ever encountered the ghost of Hank Williams, Hank Williams's ghost would slap him like how Moe slapped Curly in the Three Stooges.



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