Top 10 Thoughts Bucky Covington Has Had Today

10. I can't believe I met the real Barney Fife today! Awesome!

09. It feels like there's a silverfish in my hair... yeah, there's definitely a silverfish in my hair.

08. I wonder if Sawyer Brown was named after that guy on Lost... wait, that wouldn't make sense .....he's white

07. Boy, Kellie Pickler's intelligence intimidates me

06. I still say me and Autotune got screwed out of the ACM nomination for vocal event of the year for our duet on "Gotta Be Somebody"

05. So what happens if you're in the back of a truck and there's nobody around to open the tailgate?

04. Aw snap! I'm the one millionth visitor to this site! I won an iPad!!!

03. My fans are so awesome. It was cool when that hairy dude got me to sign his boob last night... or was that a woman?

02. Take a step, take a breath, take a step, take a breath, chew gum... uh, ...crap!

01. Aw snap! I'm on a roll! I won another iPad!!!

Country Day May 1 of 2

10 Worst Country Singles of 2009

2009 was a banner year for crap in the world of country music. There's no way I could summarize the sad state of the genre with only ten bad tunes, but allow me to try. Here are the worst country singles of 2009, in no particular order.

Tyler Dean - Taylor Swift

Ample cause for a restraining order if ever there was one. Can't hide the proof. It's right there on iTunes with a 2 star rating. And furthermore, they rereleased it on iTunes after Taylor's late year awards. We hated it the first time, dude.

Jimmy Wayne - Sara Smile

I actually have no problem with a country singer covering Hall & Oates, but for the sake of my sanity and human decency, at least pick a good H&O song, and at least attempt to make it sound country.

Phil Vassar - Bobbi with an "I"

A song about a good ol' boy who likes to cross dress? Did Phil's record company somehow get their demographics and marketing studies mixed up with Lady Gaga's? I'm not shocked by its content, just that it was actually released to country radio.

Bucky Covington - Gotta Be Somebody

More processed than cheese spread, but not nearly as tasty. They could have had one of those NOAA weather radio voices sing this song and I might not know the difference. And holy mother of drive by truckers, it's a Nickelback cover. Why? Just why?

Billy Currington - That's How Country Boys Roll

This is how a country boy turns the station.

Jessie James - My Cowboy

The only thing country about this song is the title. Does that necessarily make it one of the worst country singles of the year? Well, yes... but on artistic merit alone, it's still not good.

Fast Ryde - That Thang

"That Thang" is inexplicably better than their second single, "Make it Rain" (a "farming is hard" anthem so shallow it makes Jason Aldean sound like Levon Helm), but since this ode to country girl bootay is higher profile, it gets the slot. One of the most annoying choruses ever sung. Dang me.

Krista Marie - Jeep Jeep

This one got deservedly ripped to shreds in my .99 review. Krista's decent voice aside, this song is a second-rate product that should never have been released. More like a Yugo than a Jeep.

Jake Owen - Eight Second Ride

That this is supposed to be a sexy song but it has that "spit cup" line in it automatically adds the song to this list by default.

George Strait - River of Love

We hope for more from the King than this warmed-over seventies pop-country, but since he made it up to us with the stellar "Twang" album, this song's inclusion here is just a minor speed bump. In the grand scheme of things, it's better than the other songs on this list and the dishonorable mentions, but as they say, "to whom much is given much is expected."

Dishonorable Mentions: Rodney Atkins "Chasin' Girls" - Toby Keith "God Love Her" - Jason Aldean "She's Country"

.99 Review: Bucky Covington "Gotta Be Somebody"

.99 Review

Bucky Covington

"Gotta Be Somebody"

The People's Take

The people have no take because this song hasn't been released on iTunes yet. I'm imagining the average comment will go something like this:

Bucky & Nickelback - How can you go rong? (5 Stars) – This is my favorite Nickelback song (and that's saying a lot!!!) so I was sooo happy to fine out that Bucky was redoing this song! He is a nice guy who ackshally enjoys his career and values fans and their support.

- Dumdum Superfan

My Take

It's Bucky Covington covering a Nickelback song...

How can I say this sucks? Let me count the ways.

Awful, blows, wack, toolish, appalling, dreadful, terrible, horrific, ignominious, stank-ass, bummer, cringeworthy, disconcerting, routine, commonplace, grievous, pedestrian, like soggy cereal, loathsome, leaving a lot to be desired, deplorable, rubbish, abominable, excruciating, agonizing, unbearable, intolerable, unendurable, vile, foul, heinous, abhorrent, egregious, soggy, loathsome, yucky, godawful, shitty, noisome, putrid, objectionable, repellent, nauseating, revolting, unpleasant, contemptible, wretched, FAIL, shabby, worthless, useless, poor, pathetic, garbage, detritus, dross, crap, pitiful, lamentable, lame, ass, brutal, crappy, crummy, ill, lousy, painful, unsavory, shameful, degrading, sucky, douchy, douchebaggery, unsatisfactory, undesirable, disagreeable, displeasing, inadequate, unacceptable, bad, substandard, weak, mediocre, no good, lacking, delete-able, wanting, subpar, defective, over-processed, deficient, insufficient, inferior, no great shakes, shite, feces, corny, excrement, onerous, doo doo, caca, pooh, poop, manure, filth, muck, mess, night soil, unwanted, distasteful, nasty, irksome, annoying, irritating, vexatious, repugnant, repulsive, unlistenable, ineffective, below average, disastrous, bomb, flop, feeble, flimsy, mushy, indistinct, impotent, tasteless, flavorless, bland, ham-fisted, insipid, milquetoast, not up to scratch, abysmal, unfortunate, incompetent, inept, sorry, miserable, faulty, not up to snuff, woeful, bum, rotten, not up to par, atrocious, second-rate, inauspicious, unsuitable, dud, stale, tired, banal, played out, uninteresting. fecal matter, turd, boring, unstimulating, uninspiring, colorless, lifeless, mundane, mind-numbing, wearisome. the perfect storm of crud, tripe, drivel, rot, malarkey, twaddle, trash, unsubstantial.

I count 175 ways this song sucks.

And honestly, all I had to say was "It's Bucky Covington covering a Nickelback song" and you could have searched the thesaurus yourself.

Friends, the bar has been set. I don't see anybody limboing under this one.

Total value: .06/.99

The Checklist

Church/God

Mama

Boots

Name Dropping

Dying Person

County Fair

Lost Love

Love

Hometown Pride

Kindly Advice

Truck

Whiskey

Beer

Life Affirmation

USA

Soldiers

Pop Sheen

Star Power

Snap Judgments: Promo Only Country Radio Dec. 09

I have a friend who worked at a country radio station in the 90's and he used to let me have these Promo Only Country Radio comp's pretty regularly but I haven't listened to one since the (non-legal) Napster days. An anonymous source sent this newest edition to me to review... can't imagine why - except that it's got 5 of my favorite targets (Toby Keith, Justin Moore, Jimmy Wayne, Rascal Flatts, Fast Ryde) on one album! Fish in a barrel and me with this shotgun! I doubt this will become a regular series, since I don't have access to these compilations (but hey, anonymous or somebody else, keep 'em coming if possible!).

Anyway, here are my snap judgments of the songs your local station will be overplaying in December if not sooner. (to be honest, I've heard a few of them before, but anyway...)

1. Chasin' Girls (Album Version) - Rodney Atkins

My IQ dropped 15 points in the 3:30 span of this song. It's not looking good for me still knowing how to spell by the end of this post. This is the dumbist song Rodney's put out yet, and that's saying sumtheeng. D-

2. Cryin' for Me (Wayman's Song) - Toby Keith

Personal, moving and maybe a little surprising, given who it's from. It's a very good song, but possibly a little too narrow in focus to go any higher than top 10 for Toby. Country radio's got no soul. B+

3. Seeing Stars - Jack Ingram with Patty Griffin

Jack tries to maintain his last shred of Americana cred with this thoughtful song featuring singer/songwriter Patty Griffin. Successful? A little, but it strives to be much deeper than it really is. Still, it did help restore my IQ a bit after Rodney's track. B-

4. Hell on the Heart - Eric Church

Not the next single I'd have chosen from Eric's fine Carolina album, but a lesser Church single is miles better than, say, Chuck Wicks' best. B-

5. Angels Like Her - Trent Tomlinson

Hmmm, I get the feeling I've heard this before. Oh yeah, I have... and I still don't like it that much. The imagery in the opening lines is great though. C

6. Backwoods - Justin Moore

Opens with a greasy southern guitar lick... that's nice. Then comes the listing of all things southern... Hmmm, I get the feeling I've heard this before. Oh yeah, I have.... in 1246 previous country pride songs... and I still don't like it that much. It is catchy though. C-

7. Make it Rain - Fast Ryde

This "difficulty of farming lament" runs about as deep as the dry creek running by their dusty farm. IQ nosediving again. Worse than "That Thang." (!!) F

8. Gimmie That Girl - Joe Nichols

Fun, catchy and warm. Solid single from one of the best voices in the genre. B+

9. Why - Rascal Flatts

I'm glad that they're touching on this serious subject that affects way too many people. That aside, this doesn't work for me, but it will be their umpteenth #1 hit. C

10. Stay - Telluride

A dull track from a band that sounds like Jake Owen lite (and Jake Owen heavy ain't much to write home about). D

11. Gotta Be Somebody - Bucky Covington (full .99 Review coming soon)

I'm not prone to cliché or violence, but this makes me want to punch kittens. F-

12. Long After I'm Gone - Big Kenny

He means well, and this is a pleasant enough song, but it's probably not going to be a hit due to his less than Clearchannel-friendly voice. C

13. Sara Smile - Jimmy Wayne Ft. Daryl Hall & John Oates

I'm starting to think this anonymous source was trying to ruin my day. This is the least country song ever released as a country song, period. If not for him being a real decent guy, I might hate Jimmy, but this is just music not life. At music, he FAILS. F

14. One More Drinkin' Song - Jerrod Niemann

This is a middle of the road drinkin' song that is unlikely to get much airplay outside the barrooms that inspired it. C-

15. Julianna - Emma Jacob

Good message, good delivery, decent song overall. If sung by Sugarland, a top 5 hit. Unfortunately, contemporary radio's about as welcoming to up-and-coming females as Adam Lambert is. B

16. The Road - Aaron Watson

Once upon a time in the 90's when country radio still had a soft spot for salt-of-the-earth country songs, this could have been a one-off hit. Now, not so much. A-

17. Hard Rain - Gwen Sebastian

Not sure what I think about this one. It's okay. I like her voice and the imagery of the chorus, but overall, the song is somehow lacking. C

18. Johnny Be Good - Doug Adkins

Suffice it to say, you won't ever hear this on the radio. Interesting to see that the Promo Only comps still include these local oddities. I like that it has some rockabilly flourish, but this is an overly awkward and very lily-white rendition of Chuck Berry's classic. Cranking up some Bo Diddley now. D-

Relative Size Chart: 4th of July Edition

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