Showing posts with label From the Archives. Show all posts
Showing posts with label From the Archives. Show all posts

Apr 1, 2017

Dec 19, 2015

From the Archives: White Trash Wishlist

Originally posted December 20, 2013



Lyrical Satirical: White Trash Wishlist


White Trash Wishlist
©2013 FTM Lyrics

A shortened parole
Mint Grizzly, ten rolls
And a new pair of rebel flag boots
A Skeeter for fishin'
A Brazzers subscription
And the rest of my barbed wire tattoo

This here's my white trash wish list
If Santa can't find it all
I'm cool with some lottery tickets
And a carton of black menthols

A triplewide home
A truck painted chrome
A deer stand three stories high
A whiskey buzz n'
A frisky cousin
And jeans with a velcro fly

This here's my white trash wish list
If Santa can't find all them
I'm cool with some fake viagra
And a box of cajun Slim Jims

Bridge
I don't mean to sound greedy
Santa, I'm just a good ol' boy
Really ain't nothin' I'm needing
Just a few things I really enjoy

(Like)
A new pair of jorts
A trip to Pigeon Forge
A Boone and Crockett on my wall
A sexy back rub
In a fancy hot tub
Slap full of grain alcohol

Yeah, this here's my white trash wish list
If Santa can't find it all
I'm cool with some lottery tickets
And a carton of black menthols

Merry Christmas y'all!

Dec 6, 2014

From the Archives: The Scotty McCreery on the Shelf Collection

Since we're not doing these anymore (a real life tragedy always seems to happen 
that makes their comic violence seem very inappropriate), here's the unabridged collection of 
FTM's  Scotty McCreery on the Shelf posts. Originally posted on various dates.


 
 










Jul 12, 2014

From the Archives: How Does Willie Afford All That Weed?


ORIGINALLY POSTED FEB 7, 2012

How Does Willie Afford All That Weed?*


























































































































































































(Please don't take this as a complete list, I got tired of collecting hits albums and imports... there were more...)
--------------------------------------------
*This was over two years ago, so he's probably released 15 more since then...

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