10. That he got back into his size 2 jeans from 2011
09. That Dallas Davidson has his finger on the pulse of idiot culture
08. That hardly anybody has caught on to how creepy it is
for a 37 year old man to be singing about college chicks
07. That he had children before the jeans made that medically impossible
06. That country in 2013 is more Miley than Dolly
05. That fame makes dance moves look 93% cooler (to fans) than they actually are
04. America's education system churning out more and more Luke Bryan fans
03. That you can buy tooth whitening trays in bulk
02. Gold Bond Medicated Powder
01. That he only has to listen to his own crappy songs 3 or 4 nights a week
