“Where my previous midlife crisis saw me get arrested at a hotel where there were hookers and blow, this time around I’ll mix it up a little bit with… let’s go with escorts and ketamine in my vicinity this time,” continued Brown. “Surely in those alleged pursuits I will find myself …as well as a path forward.”
Many men experience a “mid-life crisis” sometime between the ages of 40-60 years old. According to Wikipedia, “it is a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possible lack of accomplishments.”
Oftentimes though, it is outside stressors that can also lead to a man of a certain age purchasing a soft top Bronco and dating a 24 year old they met at the dispensary. This seems to possibly be the case with Brown, who recently announced a divorce from his wife of 4 months.
In his previous crisis, Brown was known to experiment heavily, and poorly, with styles of music other than his usual jam-oriented pop-country. “Last time we did cringe-rap and EDM; this time I’m thinking I’ll embarrass the rest of the band with some guest shots from folks like The Kid LAROI and Kodak Black. Maybe we’ll drop a black metal album. Who knows? F*** the haters.”
At press time, Zac Brown was doing a photo shoot with People, touting his recent trip to Mexico for a non-FDA-approved baldness cure.
