Garth Brooks Murder Songs

Yeah, this joke is getting stale, but Garth still looks pretty creepy these days and people still seem to like the “where are the bodies?” schtick, so here we go.

Stanley’s Inside the Fire

Yearning to Live Again

Long Neck Throttle

Kickin’ and Screamin’ (no change)

When Tomorrow Never Comes

New Way to Die

Make You Feel My Glove

Hacking Up You

The Red Strokes (no change)

The Night I Put the Old Man Down

Squishin’ in the Tarp

The Night Will Only Know (no change)

Limbs in Crawl Spaces

Slicker Than Blood

Papa Snubbed Mama

Don’t Drag the River

Something Other Than a Knife

She’s Not Gonna Make It

When There’s No Body Found

It’s Chloroform Cinderella

Garth Brooks Seen Scouting Clandestine Outskirts Ahead of Vegas Residency

Country music superstar Garth Brooks has been spotted in some unexpected locations around Clark County, NV this past week, ahead of his Vegas residency. Several reports of Garth sightings have come from around Corn Creek, Echo Bay, and Sloan, leading to great speculation among fans and residents alike.

Garth + One, the series of shows starting July 6 and rolling on into 2024, will include the titular megastar playing both solo and full band sets. It will take place at The Colosseum at Caesars Palace. However, Garth wasn’t expected in town until early July for final show prep. 

“He had a range finder or something and he was sitting on the hood of an older model Chevy,” said Corn Creek resident Jeff Rodriguez. “I was on my way to a friend’s house and thought it looked weird. I just slowed down, didn’t stop, but I know it was him dog. Weird behavior.”

Another Clark County resident who didn’t want to go on record said she witnessed a similar thing. She told us he was way off the road by a wash and she’s a ranger so she had binoculars on her. “100 percent it was him; he must have been scouting a video shoot or something. The only people who come back here are drug dealers …and I guess murderers if we’d had any lately.” she shrugged.

There’s been no confirmation from Garth or his people, but locals are convinced and one man even had a wild conspiracy theory on the matter. “Where are the bodies Garth?” laughed Terrence Martin, a Vegas blackjack dealer. “This all fits the narrative my dudes. He’s looking for places to offload some more corpses. Tourists be on guard! He gone put some more friends in low places if you know what I mean.”

At press time, Garth Brooks had announced 5 forthcoming Chris Gaines albums.

Garth Brooks' Wikipedia Article From the Future

Where Are The Bodies Buried Garth?

Based on this (and Garth's creepy videos).