Archives: Country Music eCards

ORIGINALLY POSTED SEP 26, 2012

New(ish) Video / Ray Wylie Hubbard ft. Lzzy Hale, John 5 / "Naturally Wild"

 From Co-Starring Too (out today).

Like I Was the Only One to Blame

Mislabeled Memories

Ryman Sold; To Be 4 Story Dan + Shay Bar & Grill

The “Mother Church of Country Music,” the Ryman Auditorium has long been a landmark and hallowed ground for country music and Nashville, but it will soon give way to progress. In a stunning move, Ryman Hospitality Properties, Inc. Thursday announced that it would sell the property to Woo Girl Holdings Company, LLC. 

Woo Girl immediately went public with its plans to transform the cultural stalwart into a four story entertainment complex, bar and grill. “We’re moving Nashville forward and giving this area a slick update with Dan + Shay’s Tequila Ballroom,” said Chief Marketing Officer Leslie Cransford. “It will be an entertainment center with 6 bars, 3 restaurants, a massive gaming area, and possibly a small corner dedicated to live music or whatever.” 

Demolitions experts have already begun preparations to bring down the 130 year old structure, with dozers, excavators, and haulers to follow, leaving not a single brick in place. “It will be an entirely new edifice,” said Cransford. “The age and, let’s face it, ‘general air of twang and sawdust’ are not conducive to our contemporary and fashionable project. We’re starting over from the ground up, to reference a Dan + Shay masterpiece.” 

The Ryman, which was the home of the Grand Ole Opry from 1943-1974, has continued to host concerts and gatherings through the years, holding on to its honored place in country music fans’ hearts. “Dan + Shay’s Tequila Ballroom will certainly give a nod to the past; we plan to have a plaque dedicated to the history of the Ryman in the 2nd floor hallway to the restroom.” said Cransford. “We feel it very important to acknowledge our roots, yet reach for the sky at the same time.” 

Another nearby country music mecca, Ernest Tubb Record Shop, was also sold recently, with plans to turn the spot into a selfie mural and kombucha bar or some shit.

#fakenews #satire