Mar 11, 2009

Sugarland Parody

Ritalin
(Parody of Sugarland's "Settlin'")

Fifteen seconds into my boss's fussin'
My mind drifted off like he was saying nothin'
Don't know what he said, or why his face got so red
I was concentrating on the fly buzzin' round his head
I need to get my thinkin' straight
Think I know what it's gonna take

I need Ritalin, ya wanna know why?
Cause I can't pay attention to save my life
Tired of my scatterbrain, so pile the pills high
Counseling ain't gonna work this time
I need Ritalin for... (uh, where am I?)

When I got home, my wife opened her mouth
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah is what came out
I think she mentioned her hopes and her dreams
But honestly I don't remember a thing
Today I woke to a slammin' door
Wish I knew what she left me for

I need Ritalin, ya wanna know why?
Cause I can't pay attention to save my life
Tired of my scatterbrain, so pile the pills high
Counseling ain't gonna work this time
I need Ritalin for... (what was I talking about again?)

I need Ritalin, ya wanna know why?
I'm easily distracted by flashin' lights
Tired of my daydreamin', so pile the pills high
Self help books ain't gonna work this time
I need Ritalin for... (spoken: uh, something.. I think)

I need Ritalin, ya wanna know why?
Cause I can't pay attention to save my life
Tired of bouncing off walls, so pile the pills high
I need Ritalin yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Huh?

Mar 9, 2009

Mar 8, 2009

.99 Review - The Carter Twins

The Carter Twins - Heart Like Memphis

The People's Take

these boys will be a HUGE hit, just like those Jones Brothers (5 Stars) - okay, even though the Carter twins only have one song out, I can tell that they will be the next big thing in country music! Like seriously, they are so talented! Here are the positives about them: they are both amazing singers, one plays guitar and one plays keyboards, they are very handsome, tthey are young at the age of 18( better watch out Joe Jonas!), and hello! they are TWINS!!! That's a plus! So if you like Taylor Swift and the Jonas Brothers, you will definately like the Carter Twins. They will be country's Jonas Brothers!
-samie b.

(most are like the above)

well... (2 Stars) - I kinda like this song, but there is just one thing about. ITS NOT COUNTRY!! CMT will put anything out there these days, its stupid. There talented for sure, but stay in L.A. please.
- sam kenishaming

awesomely awful. (1 Star) - most cliche country garb i've heard. originality.
- Swag McNasty



My Take (written before I read the "people's" reviews):

Are these guys the male answer to Taylor Swift? Is there really a need for a male answer for Taylor Swift? Are they country's answer to The Jonas Brothers? If so, why? Who the hell are these guys anyway? Why won't I stop asking questions? The opening a cappella did not set things off right for me. I immediately pictured well-coifed hair, matching outfits, screaming tweenagers and managers with sticky palms. Yep, they come off like a good ol' boy band (or at least the 00's slightly less shiny and annoying version of a boy band) but I'll stop there at the accusations. The song is the issue at hand. In Urban-esque poprockcountry fashion, the boys describe a pretty girl who seemingly has it all, but has da blues 'cause a mean ol' man left her. Nothing wrong with that. It's a sturdy theme and just the fact that she actually experiences the very non-Clearchannel-approved emotion of sadness is refreshing on today's country radio. My two main problems with this song are its innate non-countryness and the triteness of the chorus' lyrics. That it's pop rock masquerading as country is nothing new and I should just accept it, cause it's never gonna change, so we'll begrudgingly move on for the sake of this review. 2nd point: Haven't we heard a woman related to a state/city/principality before? Recently? As in, on the charts at this very moment? It even relates her to California, just like Gary's does. So that's my main issue I suppose: get a new idea. The song sounds nice enough and will fit well on The Big 98 FM between weight loss clinic and McDonalds ads. You'll be singing along whether you want to or not, but you'll have this nagging feeling that it's very similar to the song that played just before and will play just after. One last thing... does every song have to be about a chick (She's country and God loves her because her heart's like Memphis)?? Not that I want to hear about a dude's smile or his tight jeans, but um...wouldn't radio's main demographic like to? Oh and it's not country. And is Lou Pearlman somehow involved here? I'll shut up now.

Total value: .42/.99






















The Checklist
Church/God
Mama
Boots
Name Dropping
Dying Person
County Fair
Check mark symbolLost Love
Love
Hometown Pride
Kindly Advice
Truck
Whiskey
Beer
Life Affirmation
USA
Soldiers
Check mark symbolPop Sheen
Star Power

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