John Rich's Songwriting Tips #13

Clichés, smichés. They're well known because they're true. Get as famous as me, and you can write whatever trite, overused themes and lines in a song you danged well care to. If you want to put in a line about a "mansion on a hill" or "crankin' Hank" or have grandpa give some advice just before he breathes his last Marlboro tinged breath while seraphim are circling over his friggin' head just before the final chorus, do it. Well, not you... but me. I can.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Drunk old men in bars = our greatest philosophers?

This is a satirical lyrical take on all the "old man/drunk old man in a bar imparts great knowledge upon a young man having love troubles" songs. I'm looking at you "People are Crazy."

What the Old Man Said

Was on the outs with my lady
So I checked myself into a bar
Ordered up a seven and seven
Set fire to a Cuban cigar
Old drunk struck up conversation
Asked "What are you here to forget?"
So I told him of all my problems
And this is what the old man said

These days I wear diapers
Cause I can't hold it in
Spongebob is my hero
Sweet taters make me grin
Women, they's all bitches
Now Jack Daniels is my girl
I believe in UFO's
Oh, think I'm gonna hurl

I pondered on his thoughtful words
Smiled at the wisdom therein
Ordered up a seven and seven
For my philosophical friend
He talked the new world order
And how he wished his name was Ted
Then I noticed a tear in his eye
And this is what the old man said

I like to play Atari
Global cooling is a scam
Yes I wear a Speedo
When I slice deviled ham
Jack Ingram is my savior
Could you scoot your stool up close?
Penis rhymes with Venus
Would you butter my rye toast?

Bridge
I never saw that old man again
Till the day I heard he was dead
He'd left me a note, some nugget he wrote
And this is what the old man said

"Bye"

©2009 Corey Parkman

YouTube Gems: Son Volt

Country Day Bonus Track and a Sneak Peek

Here's a first.... a reader submitted parody cover! Ten Pound Hammer gets the cred for this 'un - thanks TPH! After that is a screen shot of my "new covers" folder that shows a sneak peek of country days to come. Fun Fun Fun!

Country Day: August