YouTube Gems: Austin Lucas

From his EXCELLENT and highly recommended new album A New Home, In the Old World, here's Austin Lucas' video for one of my favorite tunes of the year, "Thunder Rails."

John Rich's Songwriting Tips #51

I've come up with a groundbreaking concept to save songwriters valuable space in their "how country I am" songs for more redneck imagery. Instead of mentioning Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Merle (does he even have a last name?) and that other guy individually by name, one can simply say "The Highwaymen." I just learned of this 80's and 90's supergroup/time-saving-wonder recently. This is unfortunate because it would have left more room in my earlier rural anthems for extra lines about bench seats and loving America. From this point forward, "The Highwaymen" will be the standard for namedropping. You're welcome, underlings. Now excuse me while I whip this thing out.

*Not actually written by John Rich.

Awkward Gary Levox Photo of the Week

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Casey Donahew Band

Larry Lee the Primitive Baptist Reviews: Casey Donahew Band - "Let Me Love You"

This guy is one of those Texas country singer/songwriters, so you know pride is his greatest sin. Those people think they are God's gift to this planet with all their "everything's bigger in Texas" jive. He's already got a strike against him.

Strike number two is the cover of this single. I'm not sure if he's trying to look lustful (sin) or lusty (sin), but either way… he looks creepier than my Aunt Bernadine did the time she hit on me at a dinner on the grounds, before she knew we were related.

Now we get to the meat of the matter: the song. It's about him wanting his woman to let him have sexual intercourse with her despite his wandering ways. This is selfish, beyond the obvious iniquities of the flesh. Can't this girl move on to another suitor more deserving of her womanly charms than a sleazy looking musician who's never home? She should settle down with some nice preacher's son or missionary so she can slide into God's desired role for her as a servant of man. Instead, she's supposed to wait around, working at the Walmart photo lab or somesuch, for the perverse come-ons of a pervy looking country music singer?

I believe that "let your arms feel my fire" is code for "let me stick my pecker into your hoo-hoo." For shame! There is no mention that he is married to this woman!

By the sounds of this song, I'd say Mr. Donahew (is he related to that liberal scum, Phil?) is aiming to have his song played on national radio. It's all catchy and shiny and perfect. The desire for riches is also a sin.

Does this man's (and this man's band's) impure desires know no bounds? He needs to get into a church and pray to God that he can be shown the error of his vulgar ways.

I was ashamed to even hear this trifle humanistic song. It made my manparts quiver in ways that the Lord does not approve of. I have already confessed and been forgiven of this sin. After

washing my lower extremities with water that I blessed myself, I have rated this song:

F

New Ronnie Dunn Album Cover Revealed