Dec 23, 2013

If ____ Wrote a Christmas Song 2013


If Brandy Clark Wrote a Christmas Song
Her husband cooked the turkey dry
And she ran out of Karo for pecan pie
and mama's arguing with daddy
So she rolled herself a fatty 

If Dallas Davidson Wrote a Christmas Song
You can be my Mrs. Claus
Big ol' present in short red draws
Climb up in my Chevy sleigh
Hand me a beer this Christmas day

If Megadeth Wrote a Christmas Song
From his fortress of white arctic doom
A fearsome man in a blood red suit
He's comin' for you
Incorruptible, indestructible
Riding on a neutron sleigh
Horned monsters pulling through the gray
He is on the way, ha ha haaaa

If Nickelback Wrote a Christmas Song
(You naughty girl)
You're dancing round the fireplace honey
(You dirty thing)
You shake your fruitcake for everyone
(You're such a bad girl)
I love how you have gifts for everybody
(So generous)
And tease them all by pulling on your bows
You're so much cooler when you give that thing a lick
Cause you look so much cuter sucking on a peppermint stick

If Kanye Wrote a Christmas Song
Hurry up with my damn presents
Don't act like I'm a damn peasant
Santa, watch me and take a lesson
I am a god

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