May 27, 2014

Bro-Country Legends: AJ

This is a new series of posts created by the Cooper Brothers. That's as much explanation as you'll need.


  1. Yes, no explanation is needed because Alan Jackson, the Nickelback of country music, is the father of bro-country. It was none other than Alan Jackson who basically invented bro-country and metro-bro. Besides cementing the stereotype that country music is dumb and ignorant and that its listeners are racist, inbred, Libertarian, trailer trash (see Jackson's piece of shit songs like "It's Alright to Be a Redneck [the title tells you all you need to know about this mess], "I Still Like Bologna" [the typically shitty bro-country song, but at 4 and a half minutes long. 4 and a half minutes of torture that you'll never get back], "Jim and Jack and Hank" [AKA Achy Breaky 3], and especially that stupid 9/11-exploiting song where he couldn't tell the difference between Iraq and Iran), Jackson was the one who pioneered the various non-country sounds polluting mainstream country these days, especially hair metal, EDM, hip-hop, and Drake style R&B. And that isn't the end of how much Jackson is ingrained in all of these non-country influences, as it was Jackson himself who covered multiple hip-hop and R&B songs in concert, specifically
    * Akon - Don't Matter
    * Wiz Khalifa - We Dem Boyz ( video here: )
    * Post Malone - Psycho
    * Boney M. - Daddy Cool
    * Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
    * Future - Mask Off
    * Flo Rida - Whistle
    * T.I. - Whatever You Like
    * Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
    * Lil Wayne - Love Me
    * Drake - Make Me Proud
    * Offset - Ric Flair Drip
    * Waka Flocka Flame - Hard in da Paint
    * Shaquille O'Neal - (I Know I Got) Skillz
    * Fetty Wap - Jugg
    While I know this poster is supposed to be satire, the Cooper Brothers actually got this one right. Most, if not all, of the things wrong with country music can be traced back to Alan Jackson (AKA the Nickelback of country music). From non-country influences (especially hair metal, EDM, hip-hop, and Drake style R&B), to bro-country hacks like Luke Bryan, Florida Georgia Line, Kane Brown, Sam Hunt, Hunter Hayes, Russell Dickerson, and Cole Swindell, to blatantly non-country artists like Ludacris, Nelly, Marshmello, Jason Derulo, and especially Bebe Rexha and Blanco Brown (pop singer Bebe Rexha holds the record for the longest running number one song at 50 weeks, while rapper Blanco Brown currently has the number one country song) gaining so much traction within this genre, it's safe to say that Alan Jackson has done irreversible damage to country music and its integrity. Despite there still being great artists within mainstream country today, such as Luke Combs, Eric Church, and Chris Stapleton, the bro-country crap that Alan Jackson (the Nickelback of country music) invented and turned the genre into still reigns supreme. Hank Williams's ghost would slap Alan Jackson like how Moe slapped Curly in the Three Stooges.

  2. I think you're confusing Alan Jackson and Kenny Chesney, but you're allowed to be wrong.



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